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From what I have been reading in this thread then is that you are not being open and honest as far as the swinging causing any of this damage to your M.
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hOW DO YOU EVEN JUSTIFY HER AS BEING YOUR W???
she is off having "nsa" with other men.
Once again, ezb, are you somewhat dillusional????
J
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Lynn is right, ez, you are not being honest. Not with yourself and not with us. You are denying the problem.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Oh it has yes. But it's because our marriage wasn't right and I didn't spend the time on our marriage I should have and I didn't show my W thee attention and effection I should have, could have and will. And those are her words not mine and something I have came to realize and em changing.
I never once said it didn't cause damage. I meerly said it wasn't the problem.
Last edited by ezb; 05/03/08 12:40 PM.
Going into recovery now so I can be a better person for my children and for me.
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ezb,
do you have any concept of what a Godly M would look like?
Are you willing to learn, by the author and creator of M??
It wasn't a man made concept, you do understand this , right???
God was the creator of M!!!
And it didn't include the swinging lifestyle!!!
That is not a M, it's an abomination to what God wanted in your life. Call it Vanila, chocolate, or whatever other convient excuse you will, it's still an abomination!!
Praying your eyes will open,
Jerry
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I wonder, EZB, if you'll even consider that your NSA sex with others living the "Life Style" has anything to do with where your marriage is now, which is off in a ditch ready to tank.
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Thank you for your prayers.
Going into recovery now so I can be a better person for my children and for me.
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I have stated numerous times what the problem is and what caused it and even from my W's statements.
Going into recovery now so I can be a better person for my children and for me.
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Oh it has yes. But it's because our marriage wasn't right and I didn't spend the time on our marriage I should have and I didn't show my W thee attention and effection I should have, could have and will. And those are her words not mine and something I have came to realize and em changing.
I never once said it didn't cause damage. I meerly said it wasn't the problem. If you were not spending the time on your M and not giving your W the attention and affection you should have. Where was it all going? Into the lifestyle? If that is the case how is that not been the problem?
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I will continue to love, continue to learn, continue to change, continue to heal the past and change the present and future until my marriage has been restored to where it should be with love, interdependence, caring and so much more. There are some very wise people on this site, EZB. If your sig line above is what you REALLY intend to do, then I would suggest you consider their words. Or, better yet, call Steve Harley for a counseling session. Jo
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I understand what your saying. If I would have given my W thee attention and effection then it wouldn't have caused damage and that is her statement and something I know now and didn't realize then.
Going into recovery now so I can be a better person for my children and for me.
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I will continue to love, continue to learn, continue to change, continue to heal the past and change the present and future until my marriage has been restored to where it should be with love, interdependence, caring and so much more. There are some very wise people on this site, EZB. If your sig line above is what you REALLY intend to do, then I would suggest you consider their words. Or, better yet, call Steve Harley for a counseling session. Jo It's what I've been doing not just what I intend to do.
Last edited by ezb; 05/03/08 01:02 PM.
Going into recovery now so I can be a better person for my children and for me.
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When shes ready to let me prove things to her is when my marriage will improve. Until then it will remain in it's current state and I will continue to learn.
Going into recovery now so I can be a better person for my children and for me.
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ez, your protestations are no different from what we hear everyday from wayward spouses who swear that the affair is not the problem, but just a minor issue. The "real problem" is always some other minor unmet need.  The reason they deny the truth is because they are very emotionally invested in protecting the object of their ADDICTION. If they ADMIT that is the real problem, then they will have to STOP that behavior. This is why so many addicts are in denial. Since you are a wayward spouse yourself, and conducting ongoing adultery, I strongly suspect this is the case. Of course, I could be dead wrong, but that could only be proved by your willingness to completely end your adulterous lifestyle. Since you admit that your adultery has been a problem [just not "THE" problem] would you be willing to completely end your adulterous lifestyle?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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EZB,
As long as you continue to defend having sex with others (The Life Style) had nothing to do with the current state of your marriage, I fear you'll miss the opportunity to recover it.
Again, I strongly suggest you call for a counseling appointment with Steve Harley.
God Bless,
Jo
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I have not been involved in the lifestyle for over 3 months now Mel and have devoted all my time to fixing my marriage.
Going into recovery now so I can be a better person for my children and for me.
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I have not been involved in the lifestyle for over 3 months now Mel and have devoted all my time to fixing my marriage. So you would be willing to give it up entirely?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Resilient
Thank you but we have discussed it and have said it can be a part just not right now and things have to change and they are changing.
Going into recovery now so I can be a better person for my children and for me.
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Resilient
Thank you but we have discussed it and have said it can be a part just not right now and things have to change and they are changing. Who is "we"? You and your WW? Or you and Steve Harley?
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