God designed marriage to be a relationship that would be both spiritually and physically rewarding. Each person in a family has a special relationship that helps the family to function as God intended.

1. The husband is to be head of the family, Gen 3:16, 1Cor 11:3.

a. He should lead with sacrificial love, Eph 5:22-23, 25.

b. He should not exercise leadership in a harsh way, Col 3:19.

c. He should love and honor his wife, 1 Pet 3:7, Mar 12:31.

d. He should be spiritual leader of his family, Josh 24:15

2. The wife is to help and respect her husband.

a. She was created to be a suitable helper, Gen 2:18.

b. She should respect her husband in difficult times, 1 Pet 3:1-4.

c. She should submit to his leadership with joy, knowing that such was ordained by God, Eph 5:22, Col 3:18.

d. She should be his partner in teaching others about Jesus, Act 18:26.

3. Husband and wife are to be as one flesh.

a. Therefore they love each other as they love themselves, Eph 5:28-29.

b. Therefore they do not deprive each other of the rights of marriage, except by mutual consent, 1 Cor 7:5.

c. Therefore they consider each other’s needs, and submit to each other as Christians, 1 Pet 5:5-7.

d. Therefore they should leave parents and hold on to each other, Gen 2:21-24 (but they must still honor their parents, 1 Tim 5:4

This is from a bible study

That is a good list AJ, and straight from God's word.

I have a question for you though. I am also a Christian and have been told by several people that infidelity breaks the marriage bond.

I don't necessarily agree with that. I was wondering if you or any other Christians on here would care to comment.

My rationale is that if adultery breaks the one-flesh union, then Jesus would not have stated that a second marriage is adultery (Matthew 5:32, 19, etc.) since the first time the new "couple" came together as husband and wife, the bond would be broken with the previous spouse.

Also, most couples who stay together after infidelity do not renew their vows, but consider their bond intact in spite of the adultery.

What are your thoughts on this?

Thanks for the post.

Sara

Sara, that is a very good question.

Looking at Matthew 5, Jesus is saying the following.

Divorce for anything but adultery + remarriage = adultery
Divorce for adultery + remarriage = not adultery

Some people think that if a divorce happens after adultery, the WS is then free in God's eyes to remarry, even if they marry the OP. If you look at the whole of what the Bible says on the matter, I believe that adultery = adultery = adultery, and a WS is not free to remarry whoever they want.

As to the breaking of the one-flesh union with adultery, I think the answer is yes and no.

Yes, because the promises that you made your spouse in front of God - the commitment and unity - was broken by committing the sin of adultery.

No, not necessarily, because God tells us our sin will be forgiven, but "go and sin no more".

If we are willing to go and make amends with our spouse for what we did, then it can still be salvaged. It has been broken but doesn't have to stay broken.

With Christ, anything can be fixed if both spouses are willing to come before Him and work on it. But both spouses must be willing to do that.

Here are my .02 from the other side of the equation.

For me, it is a lot like the Old and New Covenants.

Back in Exodus, when God was on Mt. Sinai, before He ever gave the 10 commandments, He spoke them out loud. The people heard, and promised, "All that the Lord has said, we will do."

Moses went up into the cloud, stayed for 40 days, and when he came back found the people dancing around in various stages of undress, worshipping the golden calf. He was so distressed that he threw down the tablets and shattered them, to symbolize the broken covenant between God and His people. God had been faithful, and they had not.

Moses went BACK up on the mountain, and got ANOTHER set of tablets, with the same commandments on them, and brought it back to the people. Jeremiah wrote about that.


When a covenant is broken, new promises are needed.

But in the case of a marriage, if two people are legally still married, they don't have to go through the same procedure to renew their vows if they don't want to.

Sure, the old promises are broken and new ones are needed, but they can simply make them to each other and to God. A public vow renewal could be nice, but isn't needed. It is just up to the individual couple what they want.

Some BS's don't even want their old wedding rings, because it is a reminder of the broken vows. It just all depends on the needs of the BS and their beliefs.

For AJ and me, we found it to be enough to deal with this with ourselves and God. At that time I wouldn't have been ready to make a full-on committment anyway - I was just taking it one day at a time. But AJ promised his faithfulness to me and our family, and I agreed to give him time to show that he really would do that. Here we are, just about 3 years later, and he is still showing me.

In summary, my answer to your question is yes...and no.

AJ - What do you think of "marital unfaithfulness" as a "more correct" translation rather than just the very limited word "adultery?"

What do you think the word "adultery" encompasses (what IS an adulterous action) that would "meet the test" for being a biblically supported divorce?"


What do you do with "divorce for anything but adultery" when dealing with an "unevenly yoked marriage?"

What would encompass some types of "marital unfaithfulness" that might also "meet the test" for divorce "according to the Bible?"




I understand what you are trying to say here, AJ, but let me ask you a couple of questions for further clarification.

People marry all the time, both believers and unbelievers, so are you saying that no one can marry in the first place unless they are both believers, let alone divorce and remarry regardless of what they believe?

If a WS either divorces their BS or is divorced by their BS, and the WS remarries, including if they marry the OP, they obviously can commit adultery (per the Bible), but IS it a marriage?

In addition, CAN the subsequent marriage become "right with God," and if so, how might that happen and what effect does that then have on the relationship being "adulterous?"





Can a believer lose their salvation once they have had a true saving faith in Christ?

How might that answer also apply to a marriage between two believers, one (or both) of which committed adultery?

What happens if a faithful believing BS chooses to divorce his/her unfaithful spouse and then later chooses to marry again? Does the first marriage continue even though divorced or does it end even if the the WS had confessed and repented?

Here's a great thread by Mortarman on the biblical roles of husbands and wives.


Husbands and wives roles: The Thread


Great stuff that I found helpful.

Amazin - just a little "correction," it's Mortarman, not Mortorman.

And you are right, he did a great job on his thread about the biblical roles of husbands and wives.

FH - AJ wanted me to let you know that he is away, with little if any internet access. When he is able, he will come back on.