|
|
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 77
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 77 |
Wife uses MSN Messenger to speak to OM should I remove this from laptop to stop it. would this be a love buster. We are still living together and probably for 6 months until house is sold i am in plan A.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 37
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 37 |
I believe you will be told that leaving it on your computer would be a form of enabling. Personally, I would junk it. I think you are also going to be told that if she won't end it, you should expose. Give it a little while and you are going to get great advice here from some unfortunately experienced folks.
D-Day #1 6/26/2007
D-Day #1.1 3/10/2008 - admitted SF
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
You need to get rid of the MSN. Don't do anything to facilitate the affair. It is NOT a lovebuster.
Have you let your kids know that mom has a boyfriend. That is a MUST.
Don't make the mistake of not rocking the boat. It is time to ROCK it.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,780
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,780 |
Uninstall MSN, but beware that it can easily be reinstalled again (very quickly). Also know that there are other IM programs as well (i.e. yahoo, etc.)
Sorry you are here, but know that you will get some great support!
Hang in there!
BS(me) - 40
FWH - 36
6 years of discovery.
Now - one day at a time....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 77
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 77 |
I am waiting to expose A until my children have finised exams in two weeks. We also have wedding to go to and wife still wants to go. She says she is exposing then anyway as she is finised with M
Married 13years
D 12
D11
D8
Affair 14 weeks
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
"We also have wedding to go to and wife still wants to go. She says she is exposing then anyway as she is finised with M"
She is exposing what? Are you having an affair?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397 |
Letting her expose will not give the same results as YOU exposing.
The reason YOU expose is to END THE AFFAIR.
The reason she will expose will be to EXPLAIN the affair and get SUPPORT for her choice.
Expose NOW. Tell EVERYONE.
Get rid of the computer. As in: Lock it in a safe, throw it away, do whatever you need to do to make it as INCONVENIENT as possible for her to continue the affair.
Plan A does not say to ALLOW the affair to continue by enabling it.
If you want your marriage - you need to be strong!
PS: Saying things like "She says she is exposing then anyway as she is finised with M" is right out of the WS textbook. She's in a fog right now... Trust me... do NOT let her CONTROL this situation!
Just passing through...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554 |
Wife uses MSN Messenger to speak to OM should I remove this from laptop to stop it. What type of internet connection do you have? I wouldn't remove it - instead, I'd block access using the firewall settings on the ADSL or cable modem, if that's the type of connection you've got, and change the admin password too.
ManInMotion
===========
(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,780
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,780 |
MIM,
How do you block access using the firewall settings? Can you give a simple 101 explanation to those of us who are not computer literate to that extent?
BS(me) - 40
FWH - 36
6 years of discovery.
Now - one day at a time....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554 |
MIM,
How do you block access using the firewall settings? Can you give a simple 101 explanation to those of us who are not computer literate to that extent? Hmm - that would depend on the "firewall" being used. For example, if the Windows XP host firewall is being used, it can be configured to block MSN Messenger by bringing up the properties of the network connection, selecting the "Advanced" tab, clicking on the Windows Firewall "settings" button, selecting the "Exceptions" tab and deselecting the "Windows Live Messenger" options. Also deselect the "Display a notification when Windows Firewall blocks a program" to prevent the firewall from displaying a notification when access is blocked. Of course, as this change is being made on the laptop, it might be picked up by the WW, or someone else acting on her behalf, hence my suggestion to make the change at the modem/router instead.
ManInMotion
===========
(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 37
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 37 |
If you don't have the manual for the modem/router, you can look it up online. It isn't very difficult to block specific addresses on the control panel of your router, and if you change the password, she can't change the settings. You might want to block AOL IM, Yahoo IM, MSN IM, and any other IM's you think she might use to make contact.
Also, if she says she is going to reveal as soon as you come back, I suggest exposing before so that you show her you are taking control of the situation. She WILL be furious, but perhaps the best way is to mail letters so that they will arrive prior to her exposing. You need to get comfortable with the fact that she may or may not D, but you can't expect anything good as long as the A is still ongoing. It may surprise you the change once things end. if they ever do.
D-Day #1 6/26/2007
D-Day #1.1 3/10/2008 - admitted SF
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 77
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 77 |
thanks for advice I have blocked access with Zonealarm firewall. I need to expose A but I don't want to impact on children with exams will another 10 days make any difference.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
thanks for advice I have blocked access with Zonealarm firewall. I need to expose A but I don't want to impact on children with exams will another 10 days make any difference. What about parents, relatives, neighbours. Does she work with OM? Have you exposed to his wife? If she works with OM her work is an exposure target. All exposure you should do IMMEDIATELY
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 77
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 77 |
What is the best way to expose, should I use letters or see people in person. Should I expose and ask them not to say anythink to W until children have finished exams.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 80
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 80 |
msn messenger can also be used web-based w/o any software installed on pc. What I did was let my wife know I installed a keylogger and let her use pc then 
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
157
guests, and
48
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,490
Members71,959
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
