My husband of 1 year is a DJ. Has begun to DJ at local bars at night even though he is asuccesful DJ for weddings,birthday parties etc. I feel he shouldn't work where he is the "entertainer" to those who choose to drink alcohol.My husband sees nothing wrong with this work in the bars.It also has putt him in contact with "females" who give him their cards with phone numbers on them for him to call if he needs door prizes etc.One girl did get him door prizes form her job at a local beer distibution and my husband in turn gave her a gift card to a local nail salon.I was hurt to find this out but my husband says nothing is wrong with what he did stating it's put of his buiness.
We a currently looking for a new church home,my husband is really a good person,seems to be a good christian but continues to think working in bars is ok. I am at a loss as to what to do.We have fought and fought about this.Please help me with your input.

Welcome to MarriageBuilders, RNK...

When I first read the first two sentences of your post, I confused myself. I share this because it shows how much my focus changes the meaning of what I read...and this one is funny.

I think my MB indoctrination is showing...

DJ is the acronym here for Disrespectful Judgments...which is a love buster (LB). I've been on here so long, I forgot that DJ IRL is a vocation.

I laughed at myself when this got through to my brain.

I think your question is really important--would you consider calling the Harleys for a counseling session?

Does your H drink while working? Are you allowed to be present while he works?

Have you read Harley's Policy of Joint Agreement (POJA)? The rest of the Basic Concepts and other articles on this website?

You may feel at a loss right now...study the articles and understand about healthy marital boundaries, how to POJA and thrive in your marriage.

I'm thrilled you're here so early in your marriage.

Hope you will be, also.

LA

It seems like you're saying you have a disapproval for alcohol based on religion, is that right? Does he share that view? Do you know why not, what his opinion is? And you seem to be tying working in a bar with not going to church, as though if he would just go to church, he'd see that it's wrong; do I get that right? If so, while I urge you to resolve the issue, it sounds like what you really want to do is resolve it to be the way YOU want it. Is that compromise, or is it expecting a partner to change who they are or what they believe because you don't see it the same way?

Is there another reason you're against it, aside from the women?

I'm not taking sides, I'm just pointing out that he could be here just as easily, asking about something YOU do that he feels is wrong, and wants you to stop doing it. If you didn't believe in his reason for thinking it's wrong, would you stop doing it? Honestly? Just because he has a different opinion?