Well, the nice guy act fell through. I have to apologize to Catperson, not for being so naive, but for trying to turn the other cheek, so to speak. I was trying to be the bigger person I guess.
It's funny how you can tell things (sixth sense?). I used to laugh at her when she would bust me at things just because of a "hunch". How true it is.
At the least she was honest when I asked, she told me she was contacting him. If you read my novel beginning story, you'll understand why this could be so unbelievable. She went as far as saying that she still says "I love you" sometimes. What a heart crusher. Funny thing though, this is something WW used to tell me and I laughed it off. Just like when I get my tattoos, they hurt when the gun first starts it's work, but after awhile you just go kind of numb and it ain't so bad. My heart has been pulverized for months now, it hurt when she told me everything tonight, but numbness quickly settled in. That can be a good/bad thing.
From my perspective, it's a good thing. I haven't dealt well with the "loss" I've suffered. Becoming numb is the way for me to deal rationally. I want to save "us". Still hasn't changed.
Being unemotional in my case is a blessing. Big emotion is one of the things that got us to this point in the first place.
Catperson was right, contact is like a fog magnet. Maybe that "thing" I thought I felt was actually seeing the fog following her around when we were at home and out. Of course her desire to maintain contact has nothing but "noble reasons". She stills values him as a friend (I finally told her she lost that right, even though he lives in another country). Empowerment feels good just like I have seen so many people say here. Don't get me wrong, I still hurt like hell. But at least I said my peace, she knows exactly how I feel now. No more "I hope she does the right thing, mr nicey nicey". I flat asked her finally, "what's more important to you, your phone talk with him or our chance at saving this marriage?" Told her that if his "friendship" was more important than our marriage, then she should darn straight go for the divorce. She couldn't answer me, kept dodging it with heads fakes and a pretty good cross-over. Finally half [censored] agreed to NC but used her own "reasoning" to do so. Heck, I don't know if she's going to break contact, she hasn't committed yet. It all comes in steps I guess, just like the book says. We talked about divorce, it should be easy for her to walk right now, she won't. At least she doesn't tell me that, and she's still here.
Two months of plan A and back to square one. It's amazing how accurate this whole thing is, that's why he gets the "big bucks" as they say. I thought my nice guy plan was working, it did make some ground. Actually , after her barfing all that "fog" on me tonight, I may have been way off base on that one. She still doesn't "feel like that" about me (I thought we were getting closer). She doesn't want to lead me on she says. Was saying that all this is still fresh to her and that she can't change overnight (never asked her to). Ya it was fresh, because EA was/is still in full effect. Square one.
Any plan A marathon stories out there? I'm still committed, I'm actually giggling a little as I write this. Nervous laughter I suppose. The next few days will be hell because of tonights "talk". We do talk pretty civil. A little raised voice action but were both adults, we both know it's unproductive but sometimes we get a little loud, a touch maybe. I'm pretty good at the plan A thing, except the NC fiasco, but does anyone really know with an uncommitted WW? She works full time just as I do, more most times.
I haven't thought about Plan B, but I have heard it's out there.
