I’ll try to be brief. BS (me), WH, and 2 kids were going to move. WH decided we should not move after we started making plans. WH got a new bank account out of the blue saying it was something special offered to employees of his company. WH came to me saying a female coworker was really pursuing him. He agreed to tell her to cool it – business communication only. WH stayed out all night (supposedly for work related reasons was staying at work late and then getting a hotel room.) WH and HW (who knew he was married with children) were recorded leaving hotel in the morning by investigator. Confronted WH with evidence the next evening when he came home. He stated there was nothing left to work on, he was not in love with me anymore. Kicked WH out that night, took house key, etc. WH moved in with HW that night and opened joint bank account with her 3 days later where he moved all our money. Did all the usual first response stuff – plead, try to convince, [censored], moan, discuss the kids, etc…Oh, d-day was 03/07/08. Due to unforeseen circumstances, WH and I had to take a 10 day trip together 2 weeks after d-day. Separate flights but same lodging (with family.) After two days we were doing the hysterical bonding I guess it is called. I would not let him kiss me or have sex but the connection was very real. After 8 days of connection viewed by family, admitted by him (“I never thought I could feel this was about you again. I have to admit there is still something left and I am confused.”) we had to come home. After 24 hours with HW, he phoned to say it was too late, he was already with her. I informed her of what went on while we were gone prior to our return but it obvious she does not care. Probably gave him an ultimatum upon his return. I have exposed the A to everyone I can. He is giving me money for the kids but I have contacted an attorney to get a legal separation. Started Plan B on 05/02/08 by telling him I had met with an attorney and a counselor who was helping me decide what I wanted. NC since. I told him to call my counselor (a mutual acquaintance) if he needed anything. Taking myself out of the equation was very empowering but I still do not want this. Only now, after two months, do I truly know I can make it without him. The kids and I are doing better every day. The thing is, I don’t want to. Crazy, huh?!?!?! I want him to wake up and be the man I know he can be. I’m still on the emotional rollercoaster ride although the longer this drags out and since the NC, the better I feel.. Tips on Plan B would be appreciated. And how many happy reconciliation’s are there REALLY? I cannot help but believe we could have an awesome marriage which is the hardest thing to shake. How do you get that vision out of your mind?

Also, I found this sight after I started my own Plan B so I did not know to send a letter. I previously verbalized though that I did not want a divorce and that I wanted him to get his [censored] together so to speak. I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel and I made the NC clear. Is that ok? I don't want to go back after I have already started the NC.

Last - it's been 4+ days since NC. WH has not tried to contact me. I don't think he ever will. He is probably happy not to talk to me. I read about the WH trying to test you on the NC but mine has not.