I, too, would expose tonight. Tomorrow at the latest. Protect your family. And don't listen to her crap. She's the one who's going to look like an idiot, not you.

Y'all his plan is to expose next week after his 3 day trip with his W. When he gets back, he will launch the nuke. He will still be ahead of his wife by 2 days.

Regarding exposing to om relatives and work, doesn't it seem a bit desperate asking for their advice wouldn't it be better to just expose the A to this group.

She is now constantly texting, I think to him. I have asked her not to when we are together. I could do with some advice on the other parts of plan A. My wife as always thought I don’t do enough round the house and lately she says controlling ( is just fog).

what do you tell the children? The W justs wants me to say that mummy doest love dady any more. She also things that I will only have the children 2 nights aweek when we split up, her view. And thats what she is going tell them this nwill happen when we have sold house. Last night she did say that it would take 12 months to sell this includes doing work on it. so I have a while to do plan A

No, you expose the affair but then gain their support by asking for advice.


:rolleyes: All men are "controlling" in the eyes of the wayward wife. Whatever. Ask her continually to have some respect and not contact her adultery partner<----use this term! around you or the children. Ask her to conduct her affair elsewhere.

You need to sit those kids down NOW and tell them the truth before she has a chance to lie to them. Tell them their mother is having an ADULTEROUS AFFAIR with XYZ and that is why she wants the divorce. Explain that she has fallen out of love with you because of her adultery. Tell them that adultery is immoral and that this is a tragic thing that is happening to your family. Explain to them that the OM wants to break up your family.

Let your wife know that you will going for full custody of the children, and rentention of the primary residence. Let her know you will be countersuing for adultery and will call the OM as a witness. She must know that you will fight any legal action severely.

Tell her you won't cooperate in selling the house, that you fully intend on staying there with the kids unless ordered by a court. DO NOT agree to any mediation, nothing. Make her work HARD to destroy your family. DO NOT COOPERATE. And if she gets a lawyer and files on you, then you need to get the meanest, junkyard dog atty you can find.

And say it all without lovebusters, of course! SMILE!

yeah, what she said!

I second the:

"yeah, what she said!"

Me too. And the kids need to know. She needs to see the pain in their eyes to realize what she's doing to them. That sounds mean, but it's the truth. Tell them now, before she can come up with a spin that makes her look good.

I may have missed a discussion of the reason, but if you're selling the house to accomodate your WW's desire to separate, I wouldn't do it. It wouldn't be in the marriage's best interests and certainly not in the children's best interests.

I only agreed with W to give myself some breathing room I don't intend to sell it. It needs work on it first and the market is poor to sell, if I started now it would take 12 months. W understands this and if we haven't sorted our R in 12 months I will have to give up, I am thinking of giving up anyway, W seems so much in love with OM or is it FOG. By letting go and moving on the pain and sleepless nights will get easier. She has been having the A for 14 weeks and I have known about it for 7 weeks. I am going to wait until I expose and see what happens. I have also just recieved S A and read it, I couldn't find where it says expose A.

You have only just begun this battle. It's waaayyyy to early to be thinking about giving up. Please listen to the vets who are giving you stellar advice on how to deal with this craziness.

thanks princess, its difficult as she has just gone out with OM and it hurts so much. does it get easier when its been exposed to all the family and friends?

The support i have been getting is great I am just a little frightened about the exposure but I am going to do it

You didn't give yourself "breathing room," you gave her FALSE HOPE that only emboldens her in her pursuit of the destruction of your marriage. Making her think you will bend over easy and just take it EMBOLDENS HER at your expense.

You cannot afford to avoid telling her this stuff just to avoid her wrath. She needs to KNOW that you are not going to cooperate. This knowledge will completely change her strategy and take the wind out of her sails. Don't screw yourself up by taking the appeasement path. You will PAY in the end.


It is BOTH. She is very much in love with the OM. THEY ALL ARE or they wouldn't be having an affair. But the odds of her affair lasting longer than 2 years are next to NIL. There is a 97% chance her affair will crumble soon. Your exposure will hasten that death.


It doesn't say it in there. But I would not give up so easily on your marriage, Bro. You are early in this and still have lots of opportunities to turn this around. Exposure is the best weapon in your arsenal.

OMG, so she is openly FLAUNTING HER AFFAIR?

Bro, have you told your children yet?

Mel Thanks for your support, they are starting exams next week so i am waiting unil they have finished and we come back from the 3 daytrip for the wedding i mentioned before. I will expose, and I will do it before she does I have booked the day of work when i come back from the trip and I know w planned to tell her parents 3 days later, so i am ok. Then I will tell the children.

I have stopped her using MSN messenger and also mentioned the amount of texting. It does seem to work when i say its disrespectful to me and the children.

Also the W is desperate to have the children, I need to get some legal advice on where I stand with this.

On positive note she has a new dress and shoes and seems quite excited about the trip and i have been giving her loads of compliments is this paln A? should i be doing this?

You should only wait for them to finish their exams.

she has been openly flaunting affair to me sometimes not to anyone else and not the children she doest want them to know about the affair

I will and then I will let them know, they are all girls 8,11,12

Good! Just continue to hover over her when she does this and ask "IS THIS AN AFFAIR CONVERSATION? PLEASE TAKE THIS OUT OF MY HOME AWAY FROM ME AND THE CHILDREN."


No, she does. She just needs to understand that you will be countersuing for adultery, and because of her affair will fight to retain PRIMARY custody along with the house. You will have to call the OM to court as a witness to the adultery. You don't need legal advice to tell her this. She will likely NEVER even contact a lawyer, but if she knows you are not the BEND OVER GUY, she will cool her jets.


Yes, but don't be annoying about it.

I cannot find the employer exposure letter because our links are broken here, so I emailed Charlotte and asked her if she had it. Bro, this letter needs to arrive on the DAY you expose. it needs to be sent certified to the director of HR. It is important to cc a key Vice President and the direct supervisor of your W and the OM.


Hopefully, Charlotte has the letter and will post it!