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My wife still goes to the gym and takes classes with this OM
Am I out of my mind?

Seriously, this is playing Russian Roulette with a FULLY LOADED gun...It's not a matter of "IF", but "WHEN"...I kid you not..The best thing you can do BB is to realize that you and your wife are NOT "unique", and act accordingly...

Does Mr. Gym Boy's wife know about these "lunches"?

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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I had been reading on the sight and actually called the OMW - I was going to tell her that it had come to my attention that my wife and her husband had gone to lunch 4-5 times in the past six months - that my wife told me there was nothing to them but conversation and that I had no proof or even implication that there was anything improper going on but I wanted her to know about them - and actually see if she knew.

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Originally Posted by bostonbatman
I had been reading on the sight and actually called the OMW - I was going to tell her that it had come to my attention that my wife and her husband had gone to lunch 4-5 times in the past six months - that my wife told me there was nothing to them but conversation and that I had no proof or even implication that there was anything improper going on but I wanted her to know about them - and actually see if she knew.

did you tell her the truth, that they are having an affair? Or did you leave that little factoid out?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by bostonbatman
WW has admitted to having an EA with OM but insists that it was completely non sexual.

did you tell the OMW what you said above?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Your comments are very helpful and especially poinient due to the simularity in ages between us and you and your husband.

Is it inappropriate for me to ask about lovemaking?

My wife and I have been more intimate in the last week and a half
(since I discovered this) than we have for years. I choose to believe this is due to our deep discussions about the relationship and the tenderness I have shown her.

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I would call OMW, BB...I would do it TODAY...I would NOT make it seem as though nothing inappropriate had gone on, because in fact it HAS...It IS inappropriate for two opposite sex married people to go out to lunch together several times without the knowledge of their spouses...If I'm understanding things correctly your wife has even ADMITTED to an EA with this man...Is that correct?

Have you checked her cell phone bill BB? You need to...In fact you need to be doing A LOT of snooping right now...Keylog her computer...put a digital voice activated tape recorder in her car...You need to know the truth about your life...INSPECT what you EXPECT, BB...

I'm not familiar with your story, how did you even find out about these lunches?

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Originally Posted by bostonbatman
Your comments are very helpful and especially poinient due to the simularity in ages between us and you and your husband.

Is it inappropriate for me to ask about lovemaking?

My wife and I have been more intimate in the last week and a half
(since I discovered this) than we have for years. I choose to believe this is due to our deep discussions about the relationship and the tenderness I have shown her.

BB...

I hate to tell you this, but this is likely her attempt to shut you up and keep you off of her trail...A person in an affair is an ADDICT and will do ANYTHING to protect their drug of choice-the affair...

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Posts: 22
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You can get the rest of my story from my other posts.
She really hasn't addmited it - kind of talked her into addmitting it. She still insists it wasn't inappropriate. Even on her it says the EN of conversation can be filled by members of the opposite sex ethically.

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You are ignoring great advice from some very experienced members here. Why? Do not be afraid to expose and demand NC.

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Originally Posted by bostonbatman
You can get the rest of my story from my other posts.
She really hasn't addmited it - kind of talked her into addmitting it. She still insists it wasn't inappropriate. Even on her it says the EN of conversation can be filled by members of the opposite sex ethically.

You KNOW this was inappropriate BB...You wouldn't be here talking about it if you didn't...You are ignoring your own instincts because you want so badly to believe this isn't happening...I understand, but I know that burying your head in the sand or cruising down the river of denial will avail you nothing...You must ACT...We will help you, but you must be willing to help yourself...

When you've told your wife that you don't wish for her to go to that gym anymore, what has her reaction been?

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Originally Posted by bostonbatman
You can get the rest of my story from my other posts.
She really hasn't addmited it - kind of talked her into addmitting it. She still insists it wasn't inappropriate. Even on her it says the EN of conversation can be filled by members of the opposite sex ethically.

But it doesn't say anywhere HERE that one can have an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR ethically, and that is what you told us. We didn't call it that, YOU DID.

So why are you calling it an "emotional affair" and what is the problem if she just having her EN of conversation met by a member of the opposite sex "ethically?"



"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by bostonbatman
You can get the rest of my story from my other posts.
She really hasn't addmited it - kind of talked her into addmitting it.

Earlier you said this:

Quote
WW has admitted to having an EA with OM but insists that it was completely non sexual.

So which is it, bbm? How can we help you if you keep changing your story?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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We wouldn't "have you do" anything. We are simply trying to help and explaining the real risk this EA represents to your M. The stories on this forum should be warning enough.

Good luck, and let us know when you have a "real" problem on your hands.

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BB...I read your other posts...You said that you found that she had been looking up HOTELS and that even you suspect that this is a PA...

I gotta tell ya, my gut is telling me that too...

What other snooping are you doing?

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shocked

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She came home from exersizing and I was upset. she asked what was wrong with the same quizical look as when I confronted her
I asked point blank if she feels she had an emotional affair with this Om and she said NO

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Originally Posted by bostonbatman
She came home from exersizing and I was upset. she asked what was wrong with the same quizical look as when I confronted her
I asked point blank if she feels she had an emotional affair with this Om and she said NO

Then whats the problem?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Maybe you should read "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass

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So her going to lunch secretly with an old high school friend once a month for the last five months without telling me shouldn't concern me?

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Originally Posted by bostonbatman
So her going to lunch secretly with an old high school friend once a month for the last five months without telling me shouldn't concern me?

Of course it should concern you BB, and you instinctively KNOW that...What you aren't getting is that she is NOT gonna tell you...She will DENY, DENY, DENY until you confront her with irrefutable evidence and sometimes even then...WAYWARDS LIE...So you need to SNOOP...Quit asking her...The more you ask, the further underground she will go...

Have you asked her to stop going to that gym? If so, can you please describe her reaction to that?

Mrs. W



FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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