To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

BS

thanks mel she has already been to a lawyer about 8 weeks ago she thinks she is in a strong position

Thanks charlotte this help when I send the nuke

You're welcome!

Up the Irons!!

Bro -

Listen to Mel and others on the exposure - very important. You need to do it with precision with no hesitation. You do not want her to spin and announce before you had your exposure.

Very important - 3 dtrs and an OM - not good. I hope you understand this point very clear. All you have to do is read many posts or read a newspaper to see how rampant molestations are with young girls and boyfriends.

Time to stand up to be the man and father for your little girls. Take control of yourself and regain self-respect.

Take care yourself.

That is what SHE SAYS, Bro. And if she did actually go to a lawyer, she likely left out the little part where she is having an adulterous affair. in some states, that makes a HUGE DIFFERENCE. Does your state have alienation of affection lawsuits?

Bro, rwinger is absolutely right. The odds of your DD's getting molested go WAY UP when they are exposed to boyfriends and OM. You cannot afford to be timid about this.

We have had once clear thinking wayward wives actually their own daughters into the affair bed. One was very recent and the father had to get a restraining order against the WW.

Your wife has lost her mind to an affair and you are ALL those girls have. Your wife needs to understand that YOU WILL FIGHT FOR THEM.

Thanks for posting that, Charlotte.

We have a former police officer on this forum who posted several articles about predators who specifically target women with young daughters so they can get to the daughters. This is not an uncommon practice.

There was a gentleman here recently whose wife LEFT HIM when he went to court and got a restraining order barring the OM from meeting their 13 yr old DD. The OM had written of his sexual longings for this girl on his internet blog and the father read it. The WW was so fogged out and addicted that she just rationalized it away. The WW then threatened to leave the BS until he dropped the R/O. She left.

We had another case here where a man's 8 yr old DD reported that she had been sleeping in the same bed with her mother and the OM on her "visits." He went to court and got an order stating supervised visitation with the DD and the WW.

So, please don't think we are being dramatic. Statistically, the odds of girls being molested goes way up when they are exposed to strange males. Especially IMMORAL males.

you cannot afford to be complacent about this, Bro.

I will not be complacent, I need to get some legal advice next week, so I know where I stand. I am sticking with original plan of exposure when we come back from the wedding.

Is there any real chance of saving the Marriage when she has been so openly using MSN in front of me? Since our discussion and me blocking its use, she hasn't done anything that I know off.
and last night in bed she even cuddled me, I told her in the morning, and she did not believe me. She said she would sleep in another bed or on the sofa. I thing it was more a reflex this what we always did.

R is always possible once the A has ended. You are just in the beginning phases of the fight.

Work the plan. So far - you have a sound plan and timing will be close.

Make sure there is no hesitation when you need to pull the trigger of exposure. WW will be livid because you told the truth of the situation and didn't allow her to spin a different tale.

While saving your WW and M is important, your 3 dtrs are moreso.

You know what is endearing to wayward wives, even though they might not show it overtly or admit it? Its a BH who stands up to her infidelity in a FIRM, SANE manner and does not allow her to run over him.

The ones that get torn up are the husbands who conduct an appeasement plan, because their wives lose all respect for them. Women find men like that downright disgusting. So, it might be subtle, but watch what happens every time you stand up for yourself and your kids. You banned her from disrespecting you by using MSN in your home and she woke up cuddling with you.

And yes, I think there is great chance to save your marriage! It won't be easy, but you have lots of opportunities. This is far from hopeless and I would tell you if it seemed that way.

Exactly!



Good thing we never see any of those BH's on MB!

YOu would do very well to heed Mel's words. As I told you before, this is one smart cookie.

Thanks all for you support and very special thanks to Mel you have been great.

Just an update we were having a famaily BQ and having a few drinks and the i said to W do you want a drink no she said i may be going out later. I said you are bing disrespectful to me and the children. Then i totally lost it and told her what I thought of her for what she as doing to me and the children. I got the usual the children will get over it. but I felt really good about myself. she didn't go out. We both ended up crying and she was blameing me for all our R problems. but I thing a few hope truth hit home. She seems to think that when exsposure comes she will beable to do what she wants. I don'tthink i depositing many love credits at the moment.

oh no, your kids will not be "ok." They will never be the same. They will suffer psychological and developmental damage that will effect them for life. Children from homes with bad marriages fare much better than children from broken homes. They will never be the same.

And don't tell your wife this until next week after you have told your girls, but the OM will be etermally hated by your girls because they will blame him for the ruination of their family. Your wife has this fantasy, as do most waywards, that she can seamlessly replace you with the OM, but that is never how it works. Never. Waywrds try to introduce the kids into the affair in an attempt to give it an air of false respectibility. They use the kids for this purpose.

This is another good reason to expose to the OP's parents. If they know this is nothing more than a sleazy affair with a married woman they will be less likely to allow her to darken their door. This exposure will deal a major blow to the future hopes of the affair because it will be much harder to show their faces around decent people who know the truth.

For your wife's reading pleasure:

An Exploration of the Ramifications...nia State University College of Medicine

· Divorce is an intensely stressful experience for all children, regardless of age or developmental level; many children are inadequately prepared for the impending divorce by their parents. A study in 1980 found that less than 10% of children had support from adults other than relatives during the acute phase of the divorce.

· The pain experienced by children at the beginning of a divorce is composed of: a sense of vulnerability as the family disintegrates, a grief reaction to the loss of the intact family (many children do not realize their parents’ marriage is troubled), loss of the non-custodial parent, a feeling of intense anger as the disruption of the family, and strong feelings of powerlessness.

· Unlike bereavement or other stressful events, it is almost unique to divorcing families that as children experience the onset of this life change, usual and customary support systems tend to dissolve, though the ignorance or unwillingness of adults to actively seek out this support for children.

· Early latency (ages 6½-8): These children will often openly grieve for the departed parent. There is a noted preoccupation with fantasies that distinguishes the reactions of this age group. Children have replacement fantasies, or fantasies that their parents will happily reunite in the not-so-distant future. Children in this developmental stage have an especially difficult time with the concept of the permanence of the divorce.

· Late latency (ages 8-11): Anger and a feeling of powerlessness are the predominate emotional response in this age group. Like the other developmental stages, these children experience a grief reaction to the loss of their previously intact family. There is a greater tendency to label a ‘good’ parent and a ‘bad’ parent and these children are very susceptible to attempting to take care of a parent at the expense of their own needs.

· Adolescence (ages 12-18): Adolescents are prone to responding to their parent’s divorce with acute depression, suicidal ideation, and sometimes violent acting out episodes. These children tend to focus on the moral issues surrounding divorce and will often judge their parents’ decisions and actions. Many adolescents become anxious and fearful about their own future love and marital relationships. However, this age group has the capability to perceive integrity in the post-divorce relationship of their parents and to show compassion for their parents without neglecting their own needs.

Conclusions
· Divorce and its ensuing ramifications can have a significant and life-altering impact on the well being and subsequent development of children and adolescents.

· The consequences of divorce impact almost all aspects of a child’s life, including the parent-child relationship, emotions and behavior, psychological development, and coping skills.

· There is a significant need for child mental health professionals, along with other child specialists, to be cognizant of the broad spectrum of possible fall-out from a divorce and then to provide sufficient support for children of divorced parents in all the necessary psychosocial aspects of the child’s life.

Abuse Risk Seen Worse As Families Change

- Children living in households with unrelated adults are nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as children living with two biological
parents, according to a study of Missouri abuse reports published in the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics in 2005.


- Children living in stepfamilies or with single parents are at higher risk of physical or sexual assault than children living with two biological or adoptive parents, according to several studies co-authored by David Finkelhor, director of the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center.

- Girls whose parents divorce are at significantly higher risk of sexual assault, whether they live with their mother or their father, according to research by Robin Wilson, a family law professor at Washington and Lee University. . . .

- The previous version of the study, released in 1996, concluded that children of single parents had a 77 percent greater risk of being harmed by physical abuse than children living with both parents. But the new version will delve
much deeper into the specifics of family structure and cohabitation, according to project director Andrea Sedlak.

Hi Mel

After our big argument when I really lost it and told her some very hurtful thinks swearing etc The next day her friend came round and I said she was not welcome as she was the enabler assisting with excuses for W to have affair. Anyway right out of the blue W says to me you win I will end it with OM. I will go see him and end it. I said the best way would be by e-mail.

Then later in the day after a few drinks, she says she only said it because her friend was coming and she didn't want me to say anythink to her. Then the conversation went all over the usual FOG stuff. Then she said she would stay for the children only and there would be no R with me, and she said she would leave me when the children have finished college. Then she said she wouln't because I was controlling her again.

In the end I said you know what you really should do and there was tears from her and I left it and did not push it. She goes to work tomorrow and will see OM and be even mor confused.

What do I say to her?

What does all this mean? one minute its off and then on and now I don't know anymore. Should I say something before she goes to work?

also if she does say she is ending it, and she agrees to joint agreement for seperation no contact with OM etc. Do I still expose A as planned.

Hey Bro, she is up and down like a falling down drunk. Her moods change from moment to moment. You shouldn't pay any attention to anything she says until she really does end contact. In the meantime, bide your time, continue telling her how much her affair hurts you when an opportunity arises, and avoid lovebusters!

You will do best if you don't pay much attention to what she SAYS, but rather what she DOES. Talk is cheap from a WS.

Thanks Mel, W has not text or used the computer to contact OM all weekend. I will have to see what happens when she comes home from work, I will know if she has been in contact. She says I am forcing her into doing somthing she does want to do by staying.

Are you holding her there at gunpoint, Bro?

You have GOT to stop believing anything she says right now. That is not your wife; it's an addict, an alien. Your wife is in there somewhere, needing to be freed from the thing that has a hold on her. Ignore this fake person in front of you and do what you need to do to save the marriage.

I take it you will be exposing TODAY?

catperson, he is exposing this week when they get back from a 3 day trip. The plan is to deposit as many love units as possible and then launch the nuke when he returns.

Bro, lets discuss the timing of the arrival of your letter to HR. What day are you getting back from your trip? Lets say you get back on Thursday, you could do your phone exposures on Friday and then send your cert letter to HR to arrive on MONDAY. That way the affairees would have the weekend to deal with the fallout of some exposures, and then face another big one when they return to work on Monday. This way you could keep them on the ropes.