My WH works in another town as a computer contractor and he says that the women he knows aren't girlfriends but I have proof that he has done things that you do for a girlfriend. He has gotten them flowers and taken them to concerts he even flew to another town to see a woman at a previous location where he worked to celebrate her birthday with her instead of coming home. He told me several months ago that he separated himself from me when he first started traveling for work. (He was out of the country for 3 months straight without coming home.) He sounds like the typical WS in that he's blaming me for everything even though he was making major withdrawals from my Love Bank because he wasn't satisfying my emotional needs and I told him that we were having problems and needed counselling to get back on track. Of course he didn't think he had a problem because his parents had a rather crappy marriage (sorry for being judgemental) and he was just doing what he grew up with in his environment. Telling his mother, sister and ,although I'm not 100% certain, his brother may just fall on deaf ears. I saw an email his sister wrote him telling him that their mother tipped her off that I was snooping around when actually someone that I believe knows my WH from work contacted me about his friendships with these women and forwarded me some of his emails. Remember he's a computer professional who talks to his computer geek friends at work to get their opinions about what to do with his marriage instead of talking with me and trying to work things out together. Lucky for me he works with someone with a conscience that knows what he's doing is wromg! I don't even know how to approach Plan A and then Plan B because when he started traveling for work he had been laid off from work for quite some time and we had pretty much his rock bottom financially. Now he has a really good paying job but he's out of town and addicted to the attention these women are giving him and still comes to me for sex. I don't even think that I can call it making love he seems that distant when we do it. I've even checked his cell phone log and he has either called or has received calls from several of these women when he's home for visits. Any suggestions on how to handle things later this month when he's home for 6 days. He's actually going to be home from our 25th anniversary through the Memorial Day weekend for our daughters college graduation. I'm very seriously thinking of exposig him to all of his family members who are in very monogamous marriages so that maybe he will come to his senses.

Yes, definitely expose the affair to anyone who might influence him to stop, including possibly his boss. The idea is to put social pressure on the affairs, give him a dose of reality and make the affairs far less convenient to have.

I'm not entirely sure - and maybe some people's advice may differ but I think in the meantime maybe you try Plan A but if he doesn't agree to stop contact with these women after a few weeks of Plan A, then you go to Plan B.