I gave W a copy of POJA adding in negotiation guidelines and other related policies / guides and asked her to sign it (I already signed it and explained to W that we will not be able to move forward without commitment to marriage. But I probably misrepresented that because if I make changes to me we can still move forward.)

We are living together in the same house and twice this week my W has told our DS that she was going shopping with him. DS spent last night at a friends' house and I stayed home for his return. W went to church today and then was going to have coffee/tea with friend from church. It's 4 hours since church ended and no phone calls. I left 2 messages on her cell. First phone msg was to let her know the game DS wanted so W could purchase b4 she got home.

DS wants to go to store instead of waiting. I've been stalling and using "It's Mother's Day" so we have to wait for Mommy.

Is there a better approach to take? Am I setting her up to be the "bad guy" for DS?

Tell her ahead of time what the restraints will be for whatever decision you're talking about. For instance, if you think she will do this again, and she says she will take DS shopping tomorrow, say, 'Ok, we'll wait until 2pm. If we don't hear from you by then, I will take him.'

That way you're giving her the option of participating, but warning her that you will do what you need to do for son's sake.

Thank you that is a good idea.

Come to find out DS was mad at me for not taking him to the store without Mom. I left a cell phone message with the name of a game he wanted and W picked it up before coming home. I was stalling to give Mom a chance to handle it and didn't want both of us to purchase same game. I came up with going to see Speed Racer but b4 we left Mom called and said she got it and was on her way home.

The mad part is bothersome but the teaching point around ditching Mom to get what he wanted is more of a concern. I should have addressed it with DS yesterday but will do so this am.

That's really pretty common with kids. I'm still teaching D17 about how you don't just go off and leave your dad, cos he'd like to be included, too. I think that's one of the things they have to learn from us.