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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 35
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 35 |
If you read my info you will see my husband has secretly gone to strip clubs many times knowing it hurt me. My husband is not very open about sex. He has never had porn magazines or looked at porn on the net(that I know of). I on the other hand have looked at pictures and my husband gets turned on when I tell him about it.<P>I know alot of people get turned on by variety(especially men), and my H has proved to me that he is one of them. So, my question is...if I encourage my H to "stay at home" to ogle naked women will it make him want the "real" thing all the more. Or will it satisfy that "variety" fantasy?<BR>
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 277
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 277 |
speaking from experience...when my W and I would watch porno together, it would spark us both.<BR>there are movies, videos that are especially made for couples. <BR>check them out.<BR>I never visited a strip club or whatever and having my W willing to explore porn with me kinda gave that outlet.<P>good luck
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 6
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 6 |
In my husband's case, his addiction to porn, caused depression, dissatisfaction of our normal marital relations, created a desire for excitement and escape into a fantasy world. SO, yes, porn was directly related to his volnerability to a younger, sexy woman. He also was fired from his last job as a result of using the company's internet to access porn sites. It is not the innocent play that people think it is.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 35
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 35 |
covenant...It is nice to hear a man sound so sexually satisfied with his wife. I guess when my H goes to these places I take it personally, like Im not doing enough. I want our sex life to be great and I will do what it takes to keep the sparks flying.<P>prof429...How and when did your H addiction begin? My biggest fear is my H will fall into that. What did it take for him to become addicted? Is there any way to prevent that?
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 110
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 110 |
Caron:<P>Porn is like anything else, its all in how you use it. My W and I used to view it together and it was interesting and it stimulated convcerstation about variety. She lost interest in it and I didn't. I still view it from time to time, no big thing though. I don't go to strip clubs or T***y bars and such, I never used the porn to stimulate myself to have sex with my W she was stimulation enough. I never used it as a substitute for sex either and it never made me go out looking for something I shouldn't have. It was just interesting to see all of the various activity and it helped formulate a well rounded repetoire for the bedroom. Of course there is a lot of porn out there that isn't so healthy so you have to be careful. But porn is best when viewed together in the privacy of one's own home.<P>Flip
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,189
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,189 |
Okay....here's an opinion of one of my friends who doesn't seem to mind if her H subscribes to porn magazines, buys porn videos and occasionally goes to all-nude strip clubs. She even gives him money for lap dances!<P>So far, her H has never cheated on her.<P>She seems to think that if she lets her H do all these things, then it will give him ZERO reason to cheat.<P>However, I don't share the same opinion....but then, my H has cheated on me....
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298 |
H and I sometimes watch movies together as a prelude to sex, we both view porn on the internet on occasion, and we've gone to strip clubs together. He is a bartender IN a strip club and says if anything, the constant atmosphere makes him less interested in looking at nude girls.<P>IMHO, I don't think it's porn, per se, that lures people into having affairs, it's each person's susceptibility level to something they want or feel is lacking. Then, having an affair doesn't fix the problem anyway.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 8
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 8 |
I've never minded magazines, movies and even some looking on the web. We've looked, watched and rented movies together. I always felt like it was a good thing for us to be doing together. However, I feel like that really bit me on the * when my H started doing it all secretly. When it becomes something hidden, it has become a problem. I think as long as it stays something you do together or occassionally it can be a good thing.
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