mlhb - yep, it certianly can be a small world with the internet!

There is a lot of very good information and inspirational things on MountainWings.

KL's desire for those sorts of things also prompted me to "re-up" my subscription to start receiving the daily inspirational messages again.

God bless.

Jayne and Amazin - I don't always "add" my signature line to every post, and since the link was broken I've been leaving it out of a lot my posts. The link was still there, but it didn't workd. So Amazin's inquiry prompted me to find my old URL for the thread and use it to link to the now "archived" thread. I amended the broken link with the information to "reenable" the link. The basic problem seems to be with the numbering system that identifies a thread.

The other problem that happened as a result of the upgrade to the system is that the "furthest back" in time you can go via the "Search" function, is only 2 years. Since I'be been here a little over 6 years now, a lot of very good and very helpful "old posts" now appear to "out of reach" for the normal Search function. I really hope that the Admin's can fix that problem because there are some very good "old posts" that can be very helpful to someone "new" to the infidelity that are now "out of reach."

God bless.

When you change your signature line it changes in all your previous posts too... Correct?

I haven't been able to use the search function since the upgrade.

One of the new features I like is the ability to click on a user's screen name and pull up a list of all their posts. So if you know a certain post was made by Pep, you can find anything she has posted lately and pull up a list of everything she has done since she arrived here. It might take a while to look through the list, but you don't have to guess if your search string is valid or off by a character or two.

I have sent a few link corrections to the mods to have them fixed and they have done so pretty quickly. I have many links that link to posts that contain other links and that task seems rather daunting. I have also been told that at some point Steve will perform some magic that should fix all the broken links at once.I'll wait a while longer, but I am getting impatient because so many of the threads that helped me when I arrived are now not as good because the links they contain go nowhere.

Mark

Amazin, if you’re interested, here is another thread that includes some inspirational stories:

Encouraging poems, prayers & stories

Thank you Suzet.

Correct.


Also, if you click on a member's name, not only can you choose to view all that members posts, but if you look closely at the upper right of screen that displays the posts, you can "narrow" the results to JUST the threads that the poster inititated.

A word of caution is in order....if you did that with mine, for example, you will see of the awful "yo-yo" of recovery, including the times I felt like "tossing in the towel.


Amazin, I read through your "plan B" thread."

2 questions:

1)Have you sent it?

2)If she is still drinking (even 1 drink), she is still an active alcoholic and has NOT "hit bottom" yet. Unfortunately, "hitting bottom" (losing everything) is often the only thing that finally "wakes up" an alcoholic. Also unfortunately, that's usually AFTER they have already left a huge wake of destruction around them.

The reason I mention that is because the Plan B letter IS to protect you. HER reaction to it will be "distilled" (if you'll pardon the pun) through an alcoholic haze. Let's be straightforward here, alcoholics turn to booze because they are "running." Same thing with adultery. WHAT do you think she is running from that is at the root of her dependency problem?

1. I haven't sent it yet...

2. Her drinking habits right now are only speculation on my part. I don't know if she's still going to AA... Probably not since that's were she met OM #1. Even if she is I doubt she's working the steps for recovery or even has a sponsor. Pepperband suggested that she's on a dry drunk. And she may be a low bottom drunk. The last time that I suspect she had a drink was on superbowl sunday.

I don't know for sure... Just a guess on my part... but I'd say that she was abused sexually as a teenager...

Again ... totally a guess on my part ... I don't know... I may never know.

Why not?

No right or wrong answer, I'm just curious where you "are" right now about maintaining some contact with her versus cutting off all contact.

I guess the real question is DO YOU want to be married to her, knowing that if you do there is going to be a very long and hard road before there is any chance at an actual marriage?

Don't guess.

Ask her.

What has she SAID is the reason she is doing what she is doing?

Why is she having an affair?

Or why is she an alchololic?

She told me that me and my kids are the reason she would drink. And that she hasn't had any desire to drink since she left...

BUNCH-O-CRAP...

She's so foggy I don't think she could give a legitimate reason why she's having an affiar...

She said that she couldn't forgive me... I asked her what it was that she couldn't forgive me for...

The no bull answer that she gave me...

"If you don't know I'm not going to tell you"

In other words ... "I can't think of anything right now so I'm not going to tell you."