I'm crying. There are some wonderful people on this site. Thank you to azure, wilderness, crushed and starpony for encouraging me so quickly. I just pray that our counseling session helps my H open up. I really feel he is confused and ashamed. In fact, he's told me how ashamed he is. I just want to talk about this all day long with someone, but mostly with him. Would that drive him away even more or annoy him? Sometimes I have such a need to just talk talk talk and understand and figure things out - and I could really overdo it to.<P>Now my problem is that being in another state, I might be stuck here, if after 6 mos. of permanent residency he decides not to stay in our marriage. I want to go back home when I have custody because that's where my help and support is. He will probably not agree. I have nothing and no one here in Michigan. If I file for divorce, God forbid, before 6 mos. I can go because I'm still considered an Illinois resident. Right now I've lived here 2 mos. My fear is that maybe he's been counseled by a lawyer to keep things smooth until then also. I don't know if he knows or not and because there is literally no trust left and so much hurt, that's what my mind keeps telling me he's doing. So how do I know if he being genuine with me? He seems to be trying but now I don't trust his intentions.<P>By the way to one on my responders, I'm sorry I forgot which one, the OW works at his current office, but not directly with him. I think I know who she is and she is very young and in position to know his salary and whatnot. I truly believe she's a predator who saw him coming a mile away. Anyway, maybe I've convinced myself of it. My H is a very handsome man, and most men don't start making a good salary until they are 40. That's the point he's at now. She is married also. They started by an attraction and talking about their marriages to eachother I guess. She has no kids. I wonder if he has considered that she will probably want them, then he will be putting himself right back in the same boat again. Most of our intimacy problems started with having children 8 years ago (along with a miscarriage). He found work fulfilled his emotional needs and started working longer hours. I think I filled mine with my home and children. I could go on and on, it's such a typical story but sad nonetheless no matter who it happens to.<P>Thanks again.
