Please check out my thread...recovery between work, school, and soccer. My H had a LTA and ended it himself about two months ago. I am looking for insight into how LTAs end and why...

Heard that Lousy Golfer might be a great resource on this one.

Thought the title might get more attention that way. I have some questions for FWS of LTAs...could you drop by my thread when you get the chance...recovery between work, school, and soccer...

FAQs:

FWH had PA for 3+ years
First d-day 02/05 (only admitted EA)
Second d-day 02/08 admitted it all
NC since 03/08

Thanks in advance for the insights.

Hello, HTM

First you should know a 3+ year affair does not quite put your H in the same league as my wife (10 years) or other LTA adulterers. But that opinion is of no help to you, I am sure.

Dr H’s 2 year timeline for garden variety affairs (GVAs) is sort of a 90’th percentile kind of assessment. Some last longer. Some a lot longer. It's arbitrary, but by generall consensus when one gets past oh, say, 4 years they are no longer garden variety affairs. There is something else going on by then.

LTAs are complicated, and I am not an expert. Not even on my wife’s own LTA. But if you are interested in some research, I suggest you start with this thread.

Recovery from Long term affairs lasting 4+years

Most of the posters on that thread are BWs, and they have insights I lack. Maybe give a callout to some of them.

LTAs are difficulty squared. Dr Harley claims some success in recovery from LTAs but not as much as with GVAs. But I suggest you give the MB counseling center a call if you are still struggling.

One other thing – recovering from an LTA requires a huge amount of patience and sacrifice. Much more time and effort is required than for GVAs. You will not find much empathy for that situation on MB.

With prayers,