Some of you may remember me....My big D happened about 5 years ago, and was left with 3 kids to raise. 2 are in college now, and the other on the way.
Anyhow, on to my question. There is a man at my church recently widowed (a little over a year). I knew his wife well, and her sisters and family attend our same church. I don't know the protocol and can't really tell if he's ready to date, or would even be interested in me. He's 12 years older than me, but such a wonderful man.
I wonder if it's too soon for me to ask him if he'd like to do something together. I think he might be hesitant since I am a bit younger than him.
I would really love to go out with him, but it seems a little strange since I knew his wife so well.
Just wondering what you guys think!
Thanks!
KK

test the water and ask one of his sisters?

If he's such a great guy, you are likely not the only one interested in him. Go for it. Coffee after church is a good start.

BTW, my DD's counselor told me to find a widower. That's way, you are not dealing with an Ex, and you can never live up to a dead person anyway, or compete. (She said it better than that).

Invite him over for dinner with you and your last kid. Our neighbor was recently widowed, and he really appreciated being asked to visit with people. I know once someone doesn't have the partner any more, people may quit inviting them to things.

He sounds like a wonderful man and he probably would appreciate company right now. My mom "dated" for a while after my dad died. Ultimately she decided to stay on her own and doesn't date any more but she really enjoyed the companionship for a while and she's maintained friendships with many of the men she dated during that time. If he's a good catch, somebody will scoop him up!

Thank you for your replies!
A lot of people at church have mentioned to me that I should start a friendship with him. One of my friends, and his too, is going to have us both over for dinner, and that will be a great start.
I do want to get to know him better.
I am a bit shy, and so is he, but I do think we have a lot in common and will get along well. The idea of dating a widower is appealing for the same reasons that newly mentioned.
Thank you Charlie, Newly, Catperson, and Tabby for your thoughtful posts. I will let you all know how it goes.
KK

Well, I bit the bullet and called him. He was out of town, and called me when he got home. We went to dinner and a show the following Saturday and had a lot of fun. We saw each other at church the next day and talked a bit. I'm not sure if we'll go out again. He told a friend of mine that he thinks he might be too old for me. I am 49 and he is 61. It made me kinda sad, but I think we can still be friends. But, I am still interested in having more of a friendship.

does he have an email address?

if you are shy, it can be an easier way to communicate initially

THanks for replying
I only know him from church, and would feel funny asking him for his email address, though I would like to communicate that way. He is pretty easy to talk to at church.
I am 49 and he is 61 and a lot of my friends are telling me that he is too old for me!!! What do you guys think?

If your first memory of the moon walk on TV is Michael Jackson, then yes, he is too old for you, but if it's John Glenn, then you're fine.

Well, it is 12 years...
If you were 20 and he was 32 I would say yes, he was too old for you.

But at this stage of life? You have both lived and experienced things so I am thinking he is not.

But you both have to agree on that one.

mlhb

if he is pretty easy to talk to at church, than why is it so hard to ask him if he has an email address?

go for it

Thank you ALL for answering. Sorry I have not checked this website in a while. BetrayedCajun (I am a cajun too, Sha!) I can remember seeing the first moonwalk on tv. So, maybe he's not too old!! You are so funny! MLHB...thanks for your reply. You are right, it seems that now what I would like is companionship and someone to treat me good, and someone I can pamper....I think it might work, God willing. Charlie Three...we have started talking more and more at church. He is great to talk to. Sunday morning during bible class he even came and sat by me.
The latest is that he called me last week to see if I wanted to go to a free community concert. Unfortunately it was the night for my daughter's senior church banquet. He did ask if I wanted to go to a series of Christian concerts in the fall, the first one being Aug. 1. So, we will probably do that, and hopefully more things before that as well.
THE BEST thing is that, for once, I can say this is really and truly starting out as a friend thing. It's the best way to go!
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply!
KK

Sweetie, it sounds like he's beginning to appreciate your company too. God has to start all things at some point. Sometimes He uses the boy, sometimes the girl. But it sounds like things are going the way you want them to, even if it's not as fast as you would like ---just hang on!! If he's already started asking for your company then he is begining to see that life goes on...

Cangrats! And Good Luck!!!

RMW