Oh, this is so true for me as well. You've put my thoughts into words perfectly, thank you!

Plan C causes you to delay exposure for too long because you're afraid of what you WS will do or what people will think of you...

....just want you all to know....this thread is giving me what is commonly referred to as a lot of 'food for thought'...

...and want to thank you all for it.

Morning Luna,

This is a great thread because anytime we can be reflective of our own behavior we can look at the truths and let G-d's will in for us.

SL wrote this very smart thing up above.... at least I hope it was her.

I haven't been around much lately because I feel a little like SL. Somewhat out of place.

I did mainly a Plan C and failed miserably. Just couldn't get it through my head that WH would not be logical. I was just so sure that he wouldn't tear apart a M of 34 years and leave us both in financial ruin. Again, I thought that he was different.

I keep hearing that the A is over, but I agree with what Mark said in that some feel that too much has happened. In my case, maybe so. I'm at the point where I'm not sure that I can get over it. My sitch reminds me of that TV movie where the judge had two families and he went back and forth between the two. The OP actually knew he was M, but the wife had no clue what was going on. At least he was honest with the OP. In my case, my WH fooled both of us. Lived with OP as if he was D (she was told that he was), and led me to believe that everyting was hunky-dorey. I just haven't seen recovery here with that kind of betrayal. Heck, I haven't even seen that kind of betrayal here at all. If your WS is openly conducting the A in front of you, at least be glad that you know the truth.

Anywhoo, SL please stay around because it's helpful for those of us following in your shoes. You really are an inspiration to those of us who think that we will never get beyond this. You, Bugs, Believer and a few others provide the encouragement that we need to get out of this emotional quicksand. Thanks to all of you.

Good day to you Chai!

I was out in the garden doing some weeding. It is a BEEEAUTIFUL day here in MD. The air is thick with the sweet smells of roses in bloom, honeysuckle and lavendar. It's yummylicious. The sun is out today, giving me my dose of VitaminD, and lightening my spirits. I totally get Queenie when she talks about the blah weather affecting her mood. I think it does that to everybody--we're not special in that sense.

Anyway, Chai, I'm not heading out in to the sunset. I still have much to learn, and lurking here, learning from other posts helps me a great deal. I'll certainly post on my own thread when somethings churning inside, and I'll chime in on y'alls threads when I think my particular dose of info might help or cheer you on.

I've learned the most from the 2x4's. I always had some comeback, until I humbled myself enough to truly turn the mirror on myself. Now, it's easier and I welcome the swats upside the head.

As for Plan C, I did it for the first year of our particular fiasco, caused by PWC stoopid decisions. I'm sure I made enough mistakes, but I don't blame myself (anymore) for his choice to leave. That is ridiculous. I caused none of this. His choices did.

Plan B is tough, and we all have issues going into it, especially with letting go, stepping aside and letting the chips fall.

I was there last year, letting the chips fall, and I'm back there again.

SL,

I'm with you. Sometimes the hardest part is to let go of the self blame. I've had trouble with that part of it. As I'm on MB more, I'm beginning to realize that most marriages were a lot like mine. With the demands of everyday streeses and strains, the M sometimes gets put on the back burner, but that is no excuse for an A. I have to keep reminding myself of it. Especially the way my WH did it. Something about that was just sinister.

We've had a cold, rainy Spring here. I hope to get my impatiens in soon.

Enjoy your weekend. Didn't I read somewhere that you were in Maryland? Anywhere near Baltimore?

Oh goodness SL,

You live in MD? Are you a Redskins fan?

It's beyond amazing how the weather can help or hinder us, isn't it.

About 20 minutes outside B'more. It's cool living close to both DC and B'more. I spend most of my extra time in B'more, as I live closer to it and work there. Lots of fun stuff to do.

As for the rain, it's been pretty dreary around here all spring. Today has actually been a RARE day lately. I'm couting my blessings, though, because soon enough there will be ZERO rain, we'll be in a drought situation, and it will be nonstop HOT.

So, I'm soaking it up. Just got inside from throwing the ole pigskin (actually it's a nerf football to be exact) with DS. He's got some good eye/hand coordination going on. THis is really a great age (almost six--one week to go).

Anyway, what can I say about Plan C. I dunno, cause I'm in Plan B, just like CHAI.

And me as well...

A few peaks into Plan C, but quickly got out of there.

Are you a Ravens or Skins fan? Know anyone who wants to buy season tickets to the Redskins?

I love blue crabs, how about you?

My dad is a die hard 'Skins fan. I'm a Ravens fan. It's interesting.

Today would be a great day for a ball game! Right now the O's face the Nationals as the Beltway series continues. O's took down the Nationals yesterday. I love hangin' at Camden Yards, drinkin' overpriced beer and eatin high dollar dogs. It's a great time.

I'm with your dad and I bet it makes in interesting.

So now I really am gone, Queenie and SL.

THEY WON...

Hey, you typin in DC right now, or in MD? I don't usually ask where peops are from. I do know that LG lives nearby. HE's even threatened to meet me, and at the time, talk to PWC. I know we're supposed to be all hush hush about this stuff, but I'm an opened book, so most people know I live in the area. Papaof3 lives nearby, too.

OH NO THEY DIDN'T..... I am STILL HERE FIGHTING FOR YOU....

Please keep FIGHTING for truth.... PLEASE...

I am a Jew... need I say anything more about being taken away

Me too, I am totally an open book. I stand for the TRUTH and having my M restored.

Actually I live in WA state. I was born in DC and lived in Silver Spring but moved to the west coast in 71

Looks like they even removed a thread. This place is odd.

I'll keep to how I post, making some buds here and there, helping out where I can. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone on here today. Maybe THAT's why I have felt so out of place round these parts lately.

I knew that, Queenie, why did I forget the whole PNW thingy. Why are you trying to sell Season ticks? You don't live round here.

SL, I agree something is really weird on here today.

But PLEASE dont' go away. There are so many of us fighting to our lives and you have so much to give and offer.

I still have my season tickets, have since 60 and they people who bought them all these years don't want to anymore, so I have to find someone new.