My husband left me with three children three years ago to pursue a homosexual relationship and lifestyle. For three years, I have kept the belief God had told me he would bring him home. I have prayed relentlessly, I've been obedient, allowed him to change me, hope in Him, learned his word, learned to go to him and not everyone else, continued to stand firm even when everyone called me crazy, kept going to church and my job, never allowed the depression that was just under the surface to cause me to quit. My 40th birthday was yesterday and all I asked God for was my family to be restored. My children pray daily for God to bring home their daddy, but they see no results to their prayers. Quite frankly the "in God's time" isn't cutting it for them or me anymore. I don't want my reward in heaven. I want my husband to turn back to God, I want my children to have a dad at home, I want my husband back (the one I believed God had chosen for me); I want the spiritual leader back. I do not believe in divorce (we are not divorced or are we legally separated). He lives alone now, the other relationship not working out (surprise). He takes me and the kids to dinner all the time, spends holidays with us and then I don't hear from him for two weeks. I'm tired, I weary, I am desperate for God to move, I do not want to wait 10 years for God to work-my children need him home now. I won't give up-I don't even know how that would look different than what I do now, but I do not know how to keep believing for the impossible to become possible. I keep asking what God wants from me. I given it all to him. I've let him fight the battle and i've stayed on the sidelines praying (on my knees). Regardless of what has happened in the spiritual, I see nothing in the natural. I'm just not sure my prayers, my girls prayers or any of the hundreds of others going up for him is being heard or of any good. I'm depleted and despairing.

Welcome to MarriageBuilders, L2W...

Before I address your very painful situation, I've got two requests for you...

First, I know you've posted in three rarely-viewed forums, so I believe you really want help for yourself and your family...and I don't understand your choices, since what you're really dealing with is Infidelity...and the Infidelity: General Questions II forum gets the most traffic.

Would you consider cutting and pasting your post to that forum?

If you do, the second request is to break your post into paragraphs for ol' geezers like me...makes it easier to read, understand and to respond.

You may also want to add to your post what resources you've been using these last three years...what books, groups, counseling, etc.

You're not alone in this time of heartbreak...and standing for your marriage. Welcome.

LA

luv2write, I'm sorry about your situation. It must be very difficult raising 3 children alone.

Have you considered that God's answer might be that this is not the right man for you? God doesn't need 10 years to make something happen. Nor does he need you to pray incessantly to know what is good for you and your children. You may want something, but that doesn't mean it is what you are meant to have.

Don't get stuck in the past. Your husband has made his choice. Accept it so you can move on with your life. If he changes in the future great, but if not, at least you won't have wasted any more time waiting in vain.