Just called some PI's to get prices. (East Coast) $500 for an 8 hr. surveillance. $800 for 16 hr. surveillance. $1400 for 32 hr. surveillance. $2400 for a 60 hr. package.<BR>They will take photos, change cars etc. 98% of this agencies time is spent trailing people. I don't trust my husband and this is the only way I know to expose him for what he really is: a liar. A friend tells me this evidence is useless in a divorce case, but I don't need it for that, I need it for peace of mind. As many on this forum say: If your instincts tell you something is going on, then something probably is. Some of you know that his and her day off is Monday (while I am at work)...so, if they plan on seeing each other (she only lives 10 minutes away from my house) they can do it. I am having a major problem accepting that he will no longer see her just because I am raising hell (in the past he has referred to her as his "best friend") Logic tells me that you don't just give up your "best friend". He is a smooth talker and comes across as honest and knows that I really love him (unfortunately) and although he tells me he is committed to this marriage and wants to be with me I have no guarantees...I feel it is a slap in my face and she ends up being the winner in all this if after all this they continue to meet (and she has the last laugh)... I need to get a loan or ask my parents for money...

Why not check it out and see if any friends could check on her as well. It sounds as though your very serious about catching her but this sounds like ALOT of money. Sometimes I wonder why the betrayers just don't come clean when we confront them???? God Bless you, I will pray and hope for a good solution for you.

How about you taking a day of vacation on a Monday? Just "pretend" to go to work ... then you can follow him around and/or stake out the place on your own! Lots cheaper, don't ya think? <P>Do you just have that kind of money to throw around? I mean "peace of mind" is valuable, but I think there are other ways to accomplish what you're looking for.<P>JMHO.

i dont have a lot of free time, but live near philly. let me know and i'll help you out by following or whatever. this could be fun to get the truth. e mail me at toolbox1912@aol.com

Thanks toolbox. I certainly would take you up on that offer if you lived a little closer, unless you want to make the 4 to 5 hour drive. Thanks to all the others for the suggestions...taking a day off...putting on<BR>a hat and borrowing a friend's car is certainly a cheaper option...I might go that route...I become a crazy person when it comes<BR>to my H...I will go to extremes...

well i dont feellike driving that long, but would do it to help out. i wishjed my W would of done something like that to end my affair, but it finally ended anyway by what she did.see how many MB posters would be willing to help you out. dont do something crazy, you dont have to you are in charge. get the cheapest pi, and get it done professionally, and make your case, then its over one way or another

I am giving you different advice. Do not spend a cent on a PI. It is not really about whether he is seeing OW or not....you know things are horribly wrong or not by his behaviour towards you...so save your money and decide what YOU want. If he is seeing OW will this knowledge versus instincts change anything for YOU???? It should be how the 2 of you interact that makes the difference...can you live with this "new" behaviour or not and how you react to the change in the relationship that will enable you to decide what to do in terms of the future. I do not know if I am making sense...but do what makes sense for you. (I saved my money on the PI and am using lots for my lawyer who is making him face up to reality and not the fantasy he feels life is.)

Thanks willbok99. This PI has been an obsession for me. You are right it is too expensive and besides, If he starts to behave badly towards me again, than this is the proof I need that he is continuing with her. I will use the money towards an apartment and leave him in the dust. I appreciate your input.

i did use a PI finally (on the east coast) and it worked for me and gave me back some much needed sanity. call a smaller 'agency' that's only one or two people. mine cost less than $500 and she did two nights and got tape . i made it real easy for him (if you try to do it yourself, he may be suspicious and not do it just because he can't pinpoint 'where' you are..understand?) he has to really believe you are tied up, or are at home, or some regular activity so that he is 'free'.<BR>i can't speak for others...but it helped me.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Kellie<BR>Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough<P>