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Should I hand them in - so as calm the OW (n throw her off guard) n then implement Plan A Then what do i do? I wrote a letter saying I was letting him go if he feels she will make him happy but will hope that he comes back. Apparently she said that he cud go back to me n he thought it was romantic. If i don't hand them in, he has threatened he wil start
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Brown,
Tears won't move him. Your pain won't move him. Seeing you move on WILL.
He believes he has you as a fallback. Moving on takes that safety net away. Why do tears not work? How does he bcom stone hearted? It is hard to act happy n move on when i feel my heart is being broken into pieces.
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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It is hard to act happy n move on when i feel my heart is being broken into pieces. Plan A is NOT "acting happy" a link - Plan A Pep
Last edited by Pepperband; 05/15/08 01:35 PM.
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It is hard to act happy n move on when i feel my heart is being broken into pieces. Plan A is NOT "acting happy" a link - Plan A Pep Thanks P. Only question is how do I do this when I hardly see him (ie once a week)
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Posts: 6,643
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Hi Brown,
I am not the expert on Plan A. But I do have knowledge on how to Plan A someone who is not living at home and living with OW.
People on here helped me to figure out what EN's I could meet anytime, anywhere anyhow, and I learned to do that.
I would go visit him, email him, send him an ecard, call him, make him food that I knew he liked, gave him presents that only I knew of, I listened to the vets on here and stepped out of my comfort zone when I could and did some pretty outlandish stuff.
Did it bring him home, NO. But I feel good about what I did. It's not the best situation, but sometimes we just get what we get and have to make those opportunities.
Not expecting anything was hard, I would say was very hard, but people on here kept walking with me and stuck it out.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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are both of your names on the rental agreement?
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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Thanks 4 ur post Q. You are so brave
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Posts: 365
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are both of your names on the rental agreement?
mlhb No only his. He paid the rent from his own solo account. We never had a joint account.
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Posts: 6,643
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Hi Brown,
Thank you so much for kind compliment. Brave, not really. I am fighting for my M, and am willing to go to any lengths necessary. So many people on here helped me, I didn't do it myself and honestly, I believe G-d was inside of me helping me pull of some of it.
Someday I'll tell you about the time I showed up at his lacrosse game and I "stole the show". It was the best feeling I had had in a LONG time.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 365
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Hi Q
I do keep on praying as well. He did say that I shud pray to God to show him the right path. But yet he feels a lot for her, I don't know where our love has gone.
God Bless you Q - I will pray for you.
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Posts: 6,643
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Brown,
Be careful to remember you are dealing with an ADDICT, someone who will say and do anything to get his next fix on whatever he needs. Don't listen to his words. Pay attention to his actions and take care of yourself.
He is not your H, but a WW who is sick, icky and an alien that you can trust or recognize. Be careful.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 365
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Thank you Q. It is hard to believe he is the same person I fell in love with. When he is nice n sweet it is hard to believe that he doesn't mean it.
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Posts: 6,643
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I truly, truly understand.
But it's the sad truth. They are no longer the men we love.
They are monsters out for themselves. And I have learned over and over again.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 365
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I think I am going to have to file for divorce, as he is threatening to do it anyway, and my lawyer says that psychologically it is better for me to do it first. The whole process will take over 2 months so I have time to pull this back, and I need all the help I can get so please help me through this.
Married 6 yrs
No children
A started in Dec 07
I found out Feb 08
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Posts: 6,643
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Brown,
Do you want a divorce?
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 27,069
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Don't file for a divorce. Your husband is behaving just like they all do.
Stay in Plan A. I would listen to Pep's advice, and take what you need from the home.
Hubby is a bit mixed up and acting like an addict, but when the affair ends, he will be the husband he used to be.
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Oh good Believer I am so glad you are here talking to her.
One can't be rushed into a divorce can they if they don't want it?
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 27,069
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Hey Queenie -
No, one can't be rushed into divorce. I waited 4 years, and as you know, less than 2 weeks after the divorce was final, the affair ended.
Really all the poster needs to do is just take good care of herself, and when the affair ends, hubby will be back.
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Hey Believer, I think I am going to have to file for divorce, as he is threatening to do it anyway, and my lawyer says that psychologically it is better for me to do it first. The whole process will take over 2 months so I have time to pull this back, and I need all the help I can get so please help me through this. I could be way off, but I feel like she is being pushed into something?
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
Ho-hum, they all threaten divorce. This man is going by the WS handbook, and that is very good because the MB program will work just fine.
His chances of filing for divorce are 1 in a million.
The attorney should know that, but he is in the divorce business, not the marriage building business.
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