MEDC, I fully understand where Myrev is coming from too.

And for the record, I am NOT "policing" his posting, I am asking him a very legitimate question about why he thinks his opinion is applicable to someone who IS a believer (while he is admittedly not) and why, given that he has already stated his opinion, he might want to turn his postings to her to ways to help her with her situation, given that she is NOT open to divorcing her husband at this time.

MEDC, I am not saying that other are not trying to help in their own ways, I am saying that that luv2write is a professing believer who values the Word of God as her "guide." It would be difficult, don't you think, for someone who doesn't believe that the Bible IS the Word of God to even be able to discuss her views in that perspective?

For the same reason that others have told me to "not post" to unbelievers, I am saying essentially to MyRev. He wants to give her his "worldview" and it's not her worldview. As I choose to refrain from posting to some members, I am asking him to consider the value in doing the same with this member.

That isn't "unreasonable," is it?

MyRev, with all due respect for your condescending attitude toward Christians, NO ONE is getting "wrapped around the axle" regarding what her husband does, or doesn't, do next.

We are talking about HER and what she is choosing to do and on what basis she is choosing to do what she is choosing.

I UNDERSTAND her reasonings and her perspective as I had much the same perspective regarding my wife's affair. I would not divorce her, she would have to divorce me.

In the intervening 6 years I have learned a LOT about God's will and what the Scripture says and how it applies to our situations.

So please refrain from any more of these disrespectful judgments concerning others and their beliefs and motivations.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, but we question the validity of posters actions here everyday. Just because luv2write is a professing believer doesn't give her a free pass for foolish actions ... and thinking that her commitment to her beliefs will somehow have any effect on her WH's actions IS foolish.

NO ONE is questioning her devotion to her vows or her reasons for those beliefs. However, you are correct that I have no business on this thread, but that's because I'm simply wasting my time, not because of your mischaracterizations of my intent.

Thank you Forever I do appreciate you support. For me, divorce is not an option. I am not the stupid delusional bimbo everyone thinks I am. I have boundaries and he knows he cannot come home without a heart of true repentence. But I am also not willing to just throw in the towel.

As for the thing with Noah-God led me to that story when I was struggling with people telling me I was crazy to be willing to forgive and wait. Well,Noah chose to believe God when everyone said he was crazy. I think this is a way God is saying okay are you going to trust me or the people on this board that you do not know.

I am sorry I have wasted your time. I know what the Bible says-I do not need any lessons from anyone. I came in here because I was struggling and needed encouragement that would spur me on to do what I know in the depths of my soul that I was supposed to do. You may not think you were blasting me-but that is exactly what you did, except Forever. It really isn't about whether you agree with me or not. I wasn't looking for you approval.

Could it be that I have hit a nerve with some of you. That maybe you gave up on your marriages sooner than God wanted because of the allowance to do so. I don't know, but I do know just because it is allowed does not mean it is right.

I am believing in God. I do not believe in me or my strength. It is not up to me to judge or condemn or create repentence in my H-that is all God's job. Mine is to obey Him and love, yet keep the boundaries and the truth of what is right. I have and am doing that. All the rest is just your opinion and truly since you don't know me or my husband-I just don't care.

FH,
I see where you are coming from and would agree if I felt that your interpretation of Myrevs words was correct. I think Myrev is qualified...as qualified as any here...to address the issue at hand. You see it as a Scriptural issue. I see it as an issue with delusion.
I did not notice Myrev being disrespectful to religion in any way. If that were the case, I would ask for those words to be retracted.



Who would ever tell you such a thing???? I read a good number of your posts and have never seen that posted to you.

I'm reminded of another poster who wouldn't give up on her H, even though he was never her H. And he was M to someone else.

I can't remember the poster's name.

Yes...but not in the way that you think. Frankly, you just get on my nerves with your attitude.


Apparently you do since you are still posting.

Have you posted here under a different name?

L2W,

I have 3 things I offer as advice to you. You may take them or leave them. They are offered to you as a sister in Christ.


1. Contact Focus on the Family for help. I have heard testimonies on their radio program from men just like your husband. Men who got involved in a homosexual relationship and left their families. Men who later repented of those sins, worked through issues that brought them to the point of living in those sins, and had restored their relationship with God, their wife and their families.

I don't believe that your situation is impossible. With God, it is obviously not. BUT your WS must first have a heart willing. He does not.

2. Because your WS's heart is hardened, I advise you to do what is necessary to protect your children and unbind yourselves with the evilness of homosexuality and adultry. If your WS's heart becomes willing to submit to God, then you can consider reconciliation.

I honestly don't believe God permits divorce for those that are too weak to deal with adultry. I believe he permits it to FREE those from the evil of it when faced with an unrepentant adulterer. And your WS takes it to another level, because the sin of homosexuality is an abomination to the Lord.

You can divorce and remain faithful to your vows. You do not have to seek out another spouse. But I feel you are yoking yourself with evil by not divorcing.

3. Can't remembe what it was now. If it comes back to me, I'll post it.

L2W, you heart is broken and your world has been torn apart. The BS's here understand that. Please understand we have no reason to post to you other than with intent to help you.

May I ask, how old are your children, how often do they see their father and are they exposed to his lover?

I AM sorry you are facing this.

Have you read any of the information on this site? Have you read any of the stories of love, courage and devotion that any of these "nonbelievers" on this "secular" site have posted? Or did you just blindly post expecting everyone to agree with you.

I find your responses sad and closeminded. You have been offered something positive to do along with your prayer. I believe there are very few on this site that have worked this very successful plan devised by a Christian counselor who have not spent many tearful hours engaged in fervent prayer.
I have great sympathy for your situation and pray that you may have the result that you desire but I take offence at your judgemental attitude.

It reminds me of the man on the roof during the flood praying for God to save him. A man in a rowboat comes by and he turns him away saying that God will save him. Then a helicopter dips down. He turns it away saying that God will save him. The water comes up over his head and he drowns. When he goes to heaven he asks God, How could you let me drown? God replies, I sent a rowboat and a helicopter.

I have told that poorly but I think that you get my gist. I hope that you will stick around if only to read about the battles well fought and the marriages recovered. We are a resilient God fearing bunch for the most part.

Say

And no, you didn't hit a nerve.

My marriage is in recovery. My husband came home repentant and remorseful, and has been restored as the spiritual leader of our family.

However, if he continued in his sin, I most certainly would have done whatever it took to protect my children from his lifestyle. I am responsible for my children's safety...physical and spiritual.

Yep.

And she loves to write.

Well said.

MEDC - I am not surprised that you may not have read them, given that none of us is able to keep up with all the threads on all the forums.

Suffice it to say that it has been said, including accusations that I am "proselytizing" by posting Scripture and/or Scripturally based advice or that I don't think "MB techniques" have merit. If if were important, I could spend some time looking up those examples, but it might be easier given the current problems with the search function to simply know that I, as the recipient of the comments, do remember them quite clearly.

Regardless, it might suffice to simply point out that differences of opinion DO exist, even among believers, on some issues. You might recall your and my "differences" over what defines a "Christian," as an example of differing opinions, especially when the name is appropriated by others who do not believe in "traditional" Christian beliefs (i.e., the diety of Christ).

Now, also by way of example, the Supreme Court of California (the land of fruits and nuts as some say) has decided that homosexual couples can be "Married." Needless to say, I think that "decision" by that "August Body" is decidely wrong, to say nothing of decidely anti-biblical. But I am sure there will some, perhaps many, who think it's a "good idea." Just another attack, imho, on the sanctity of marriage and what "Marriage" means.

All that I am saying with respect to MyRev's posting here is that he does not "understand" what BEING a Christian means to a lot of people, so it would be inherently difficult for him to provide "biblically based" advice to someone who does profess to be a sincere believer. Part of our joint "struggle" sometimes is to practice "self-restraint" in who we post to and what we post.

Having "stepped over that line" myself a few times, my hope is that we all "learn from our mistakes" and help where we can help and refrain when we have little constructive to offer.

That you might see the issue as "delusional" is understandable, but not definitive. I am quite sure that many who have experienced miracles were likely thought to be "delusional" by many others. Even Peter was thought to be delusional by the Pharisees and Paul was accused of being "mad," by Festus if I remember the Roman correctly. Then there were the people who though Jesus coming to Lazarus after he had died was "pointless." Many examples of other miracles could be cited as well.

I would, personally, categorize the likelihood of her husband "changing" as being "slim to none," but there HAVE been homosexuals who HAVE renounced the practice and surrendered their lives to Christ. It is NOT that we don't have the "propensity" to sin, it's what we choose to act on that is the difference. Even Paul fought that battle continually. So do "reformed" alcoholics.

When I began recovery, I really saw very little hope for a change in my wife, and none without the intervention of God. I thank God for His mercies every day, for strengthening me when I was weak, for giving me endurance when I was "justified" in tossing in the towel. I understand what luv2write is saying. I also know that despite my initial vow to "never be the one to file for divorce," I would have if there was no indication of repentance because God does not want His children to be "unequally yoked" to an unbeliever, especially when that unbeliever refuses to live with their spouse "as if" they were following God's commands to husbands and wives. Who am I to presume to know what God may have in store for my future after a divorce from an unrepentant and incalcitrant adulterer? But I also believe that divorce is not the 1st choice to "jump to." It comes after TRYING and being as certain as possible that I had done all that "God asked of me" to be faithful to the Second Greatest Commandment.

Love and forgiveness does not require that I remain in marital relationship, since the covenant WAS broken by the unfaithful spouse. In much the same way that God crushes a 'flawed pot,' removes the flaws, and begins to fashion a whole new vessel, He does the same with broken and flawed marriages. It's not the same old marriage, patched up and glued together. God starts from "scratch" and builds a whole new, and different, vessel.

Forgiving "seventy times seven times" is HARD, especially if we do NOT have Christ's power to assist us. And that is also what makes recovery so hard sometimes.

God bless.

Marshmallow - that was a member called "Back."

I tried. It was hopeless in her case.

You are right on target with every word of this. I appreciate your ability to post so clearly on things I wish to say, but find hard to express so succintly.
Thank you for reminding us that God can change anything (with cooperation on our part), but that it is our DUTY to separate ourselves from blatant evil.
While the odds are not high that this man will give up a sin he is so entrenched in, I believe they are actually higher that he will do so if he is cut off from his family, as a loving discipline. If this lady does not protect herself and her children, his sin will drag them all down.

And a quick comment to the rest of you..
When I asked the Harleys if this was a Christian website, I received a resounding "YES"..so while I am thrilled at their willingness to help ANYONE regardless of religion (or lack thereof) it is natural to expect Christian advice here.

Exactly


They should make this more clear if that is indeed their belief.