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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2 |
My wife recently told me that she wanted to separate. She says she has been unhappy for a long time & I can admit that I have been as well. Shortly after, I discovered pictures of another man, including shots of his private parts saved to our computer. When i confronted her about the pictures, she said she had never met the guy & nothing had happened. Now that we are separating, (still living in the same house, haven't told the kids yet, haven't signed anything) She has several password protected e-mail accounts & spends all her time on line. She is telling me that she is hoping a short separation will clue her in to what she had & we can reconcile. I wonder if I am being strung along "in case..."
My question is, can I do anything about this? Do I give up any hope of reconcilliation? Can/should I trust her?
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
Yes you are right about WW keeping you as a back up plan.
Do not allow her to conduct the affair from your home. Do not let her use yor money to have an affair.
I would get rid of any computer or phone that she is using to disrespect you and your marriage.
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044 |
I wonder if I am being strung along "in case..." She wants space to conduct her affair. Install a key logger on the computer. Hire a PI and do not believe one word she says. No matter what...DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. As soon as you find out who this joker is, contact his wife. Expose away. Do not remove the computer at this time. It will force her to go underground even more. Spector Pro has a good key logger. Sorry you are going through this.
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298 |
iambigbrother is another good keylogger.
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2
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thank you for your responses. I guess my question is a moot point now, as She went away for the weekend refusing to give me any details. I managed to track her down from a few clues left behind & the guy from the pictures answered the hotel room phone. I guess it will be easy to face her tomorrow & send her packing. It is just tragic for the kids... It is sad as well seeing as she threw away everything I could give for 1 weekend with this guy seeing as they live about 7-8 hours apart!! i think her plan was to sneak away, deny everything & keep me paying the bills. Thanks again!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245 |
I know you're in pain, but if you're still interested in retaining your marriage, you can. You do it by exposing the affair to everyone involved, anyone who can put pressure on her and him, and show the affair for all the ugliness that it is. More steps, but we need to know if you're interested.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 596
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Hindsight is 20/20, but the actual weekend would have been a perfect time for exposure. As soon as you verified that she was there, you could have called her mother and anyone else and told them she was at a hotel with another man and given them the address, room number, and phone number.
ex-WW had 2 PAs in first 2 years. Buh-bye.
Divorce finalized: 1/28/09
Now just living and loving again.
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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It's time to expose. Do so without prior warning. Tell OMW, WW parents and siblings.
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,780
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,780 |
brokencompass,
Read Abandoned w/3 kids thread on the General Questions board. His story gives some EXCELLENT advice and action plan items that he has followed VERY well. Almost text book.
There is still hope, but you need to do the steps that you are being coached with, especially if you want to save your M.
Good luck and God Bless!
BS(me) - 40
FWH - 36
6 years of discovery.
Now - one day at a time....
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
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If you desire to send her packing, I say good for you. Only make sure that YOU get the kids.
If you want to save your marriage, there are tools here to help you.
First, you need to decide do you still want her after she was used by the OM? Only you can make that call. If the answer is "yes" let us know and we can help you formulate a plan...beginning with an agressive and full out exposure.
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