Could those of you with experience recovering with an alcoholic stop by my thread. Apparently, it may change the way that we work on our recovery and I'm not sure how.

...recovery between work, school, and soccer...

Thanks in advance for your help.

Do I keep going with MB the way I have been? Post to my thread if you have thoughts.

Thanks,
HTM

HTM, I'm still learning so I'm hardly an authority.

I know for a fact that the "MB Way" does not/can not include current, practicing and active alcohol abuse/addiction. As you know, our husbands are not emotionally mature. Whether playing with the kids, getting chores done around the house, taking work seriously or romancing us, when we're honest with ourselves, we can see how indeed they are NOT grown men.

It's your life & you need to know what you're willing to accept for your and your kids' life & future. You cannot Plan A, Plan B, Plan C or XYZ an alcoholic. I've heard of "women whose husbands still drink but lead happy, healthy, fulfilled lives" in Al-Anon. Personally, I can't see it - I think it's oxymoronic, and I choose not to live that way anymore.

BTW, my H "quit" drinking a year ago too, at my urging. This time though, he left, got an apartment, and we are in the court system. What's different? This time I'm not bargaining. I do not know if I will be married to my current husband & father of my children a year from now. I DO know that I will not live in an alcoholic household ever again though, and neither will my kids. For me, that's good enough - even better.

You can't. If you have an alcoholic that don't want to get clean & sober ... you can't use MB concept, i.e plan A. Plan B w/o plan A is a kiss of death for your M.

However if WH is willing to get clean and sober you might want to call MB to help you plan A as long as he stay clean.

So it means that you have to deal with his alcoholism first. Alanon is a good first stop.

rh

Actually, Dr. Harley recommends PLAN B and/or Alanon, if anything with an alcoholic, but never Plan A. PLan A is the kiss of death with an alcoholic because it is impossible to meet the needs of an alcoholic. The alcoholic only uses it as an opportunity to exploit the spouse. Alcoholism is such the ultimate lovebuster, that Plan B is sometimes the best answer in order to preserve any love in the marriage. If it is a tolerable living situation, then Alanon.

What to Do with an Alcoholic Spouse #1

Dr. Harley mentioned in his radio show segment on 8-9-06, that when you go into Plan B with an alcoholic that you make getting treatment a condition of coming back in your Plan B letter. He also strongly recommends Alanon because he feels a good support group is very necessary.