Well i dont know how to link my previous posts or otherwise so sorry if i cant let you see how its been..... the A lasted 10 months while WS was with me. Then she left last year July....I only saw my son on the weekends. I made sure that being a good father is first and foremost.

Fast forward to yesterday.... got a call, she was asking if i still loved her, i said i don't know....i honestly dont. Then she launched into why no one wants to be honest with her and tell her the truth. I said we can be friends and i still care for her.

She said everyone can care for her...but what do i want to do. (This is a wierd situation to be in)..i said i will have to think about it.... then from what she was saying, it sounded like the "soul mates" are not so soulful now. I really feel sorry for her you know?... i really do.

but i dont think i can live in doubt, wondering when "next".

I have learnt to walk tall, seriously wounded, but tall.

with the help of many here, i was able to drag myself off the floor and crawl before standing. But for all you doubter out there, i hope you will realize that Affairs really do end, i am now a beliver...any "love" hatched in deceit will be poisonous in the end.

There is no gloating , no "AHA", no "revenge is sweet" thing.....just grief, emptiness at the wake of immense untold destruction that affairs cause to generations to come.

i look on wondering what to do now? what will happen to DS.

there is no victory in this....only that we become wiser.

please none of you out there who even contemplate having an A should do so....the look on my WS face and her tone....make me sad for her soul.

Keep strong all you BS, you will also see the light.

keep safe , stay here, keep pure.

love God.

nc007

Did she say that she has no contact with the OM?

I wouldn't even discuss anything with her until that has happened.

Don't talk to her until she's demonstrated that she has had NC w/ OM for at least a month or two. Then you will possibly enter her life again. She might need both men to fill her needs and if she can drag you in again, it will prolong her affair.

Didn't this guy get married during the middle of their affair. What is going on with that?

exactly the sentiment Believer expressed - the WASTE and DESTRUCTION - for nothing

Hi NC!!!

I've missed your posts around here!!! How are YOU doing there in sunny Jamaica?

Maybe I missed it, but did you ever expose to OM's wife?

Mrs. W

Hi all,

OMG,......GEEZ i MISSED U GUYS...i go out for a bit then BAM family reunion.

will get back to all of you each and every one of you.

later guys.


meeting...

quick. yes OMW knew.
Yes did expose...
Yes i missed you all....

Will not go near her for now...
need some serious advise here and guidance...
sorry that i havent been here in awhile..
just got a bit overwhelmed.


but good to be back.


later...oops there goes the Boss again...lol.


missed you all.



gotta ru,.

Beliver,

right now i dont have a clue as to what the status is with OM
honestly....part of me dont care
i dont kno if it me moving on or just a sign of indifference
a larger part of me just not wanting her anymore.....all i do is just think about JL
but she has acclimatized him to this living arrangement for a year now.

do i still want her?......80% no.

jmwc,

i just feel sorry for her. I could ask her not to stay in contact with the OM but why? .... i am honestly trying to figure out if i want her back.

with her attitude now though the answer is definitely no.

i wasnt the most ambitious, nor was i making a tonload of money, but i really loved her....and my son.

she is vehemently asking me to be truthful and tell her if i want this or if i am still in love with her and why noone wants to be truthful to her...(take that to include him too)

Be careful nc. She is probably going to have another one to get over the first one. Very common.

This "no one tells her the truth” babble is also right out of the poor me handbook.

Stay detached.

I can't remember. Did you send a plan B letter? Instructions for her on what to do when she is scratching on the door to get back in?

She seems to think pressuring you for a quick opening of the door is going to work for her. Must usually have worked for her in the past, huh?


ed: Besides, when has she ever told you, or anyone, the truth?


With prayers,

nc007,

I've never been in your shoes, exactly, but I could never live with being the runner-up. She dropped you like a bad habit for OM.

You've already gone through the worst parts of the pain and suffering of a BS.

Do yourself a favor and don't let her back into your life anymore than she is now. It's just not worth the risk, in my opinion.

Oh yeah... jmwc95,

He got married 5 months into the affair and disappeared for 2 months.... then surfaced while she was vacationing in NY...(yes idiot me bought ticket and gave her spending money)

then she moved out 2 months after.....

so now she gets 350 USD in child support plus i pay DS schooling ,books, clothing etc.

now to want to come back into my life ... and start date again...aww hell no!

not right now.

yup, if you read my new post "i am utterly shocked!" i feel the same way you do.

mlhb

I don't see real repentance on the part of your WW. Rather, it's about someone(WW) being between a rock and a hard place.

You're going to need much more than that for this W to enter your life again.

Much more!

All Blessings,
Jerry

I know that you don't want to get burned again. I would cut contact w/ her (because she is the one requesting it), and let her know that she has to prove to you that you aren't going to get burned again before you even talk to her. If you KNEW for sure that OM was out of her life for good, I'm sure you might be a bit more receptive to the idea instead of feeling like you need to look over your shoulder.

Hi NC...

YOU SOUND GREAT!!

So glad to hear from you....

My opinoin?

She sees you as her financial safety net until she can find her 'real soul mate".

Just a safe harbor during the storm.

That's a black ship coming to the safe harbor and you'd be best to torpedo it before it crests the horizon.

Pepperband,

You smart, wonderful, sassy, lovable woman you.........you are right, funny thing is i feel empty again.

Mrs. W !!!!!

The first of many para-rescuers (?) who helped me from slipping into oblivion!

I love you so much...your help, support and compassion that you display not only to me but to many others here.

Jamaica is wonderful now, and with intermittent showers, remain cool enough i am just hanging on till the hurricane season to see what happens!

Plse tell Mr. W ..... Nuff Luv.

Aphelion

Yes i did send a plan B letter and also spoke to her before she left.

Thanks for reminding me..."Stay detached. "

the past 2 convo... i got caught up.

As we say here... "Tek it easy"

(Chill and be happy and at peace)


Later man.