A No Contact rule was requested by me of my former fiance back in September/October. He has since been, on occassion, sending general emails to me; jokes/forwards/etc. Today I received an email asking for my help with his new camera...

My question that I'm needing help on is this: Do I cordially send him an email answering his question about the camera (I have the same one) and politely remind him of our no contact rule or just let the email go by the wayside? I'm torn as I feel as I've moved on in my life (to an extent) but don't want him to continue making contact (even few and far between) I don't want/need the occassional "reminder" of him from time to time. It just seems to send me back a step...

Or does this seem like he's trying to start up contact? Why couldn't he ask the store that he bought it from? Any insights?

simply reply with a demand that he no longer contact you and then block his email address. Simple and it addresses the problem head on.

diamond,

i thought you had blocked him a long time ago? when you request no contact, knowing full well he will probably continue to contact you regardless (and you knew he would just like i did with my exbf) then you should have blocked him from being able to email you.

Are YOU needing this fix too still?

I blocked exbf's email in January after he would pull the same stuff. Totally disrespected my request for no contact on several occasions. I have not heard a peep since then and it has been WONDERFUL.

I would ignore the email and put a block on him. period.

mlhb

mlhb,
He's been contacting me thru my work email. I thought I did have him blocked since January. I wanted to try and block him myself without involving IT. Apparently this didn't work - I did not respond to any of the mails and thought he would eventually give up and quit. He never tried to contact me any other way...

No, I do believe that time has been a healer and I REALLY do not want him to make contact... Yes, I still miss him, but have come to accept that we both wanted our lives to play out differently and that I'm just on another path. I feel like I've come a long way and in a short amount of time since my last topic of "struggling".

I'm happy with me, I'm happy not dating. I'm going to concentrate on the summer and my kids and enjoy every minute, but don't need the "reminders" of him. I still seem to have enough of those in the day to day - but it's gotten easier.

Diamond - I am an IT pro with 12 years experience. If you'd like help in setting up a rule that will send all of your X's correspondence to your Deleted Items folder, I'd be happy to help.

My advice - don't respond at all. NC means NC. You can't force him to adhere to it, but you can choose to follow it for yourself. This is a perfect example of maintaining your own boundaries and the folly of trying to place boundaries around others.

seabird,
Thanks for the offer! I did have a "rule" set up, but it obviously did not work. I also tried blocking my home email (as a test) from myself and that didn't work either...I had a computer guru look at it today after receiving the mail from X and he thought it was set up properly.

I ended up sending him back an email a few minutes ago making it VERY clear to not make contact with me. I think with this one, he will respect my wishes. If another email from him comes through I will request the help of our IT department. I just didn't want to involve anyone or let anyone in on my private life...

Okay - it's an open offer. I hope he has a good history of respecting your wishes.

well then, thank goodness exbf did not have my work email!

mlhb