14 years ago we met and got along famously, we clicked in every way. Life was grand and about a year later we decided to buy a house a live together. We did so for 6 years and I knew about 2 months after seeing him that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and he felt the same way.<P>Anyway, after living together for 6 years we had decided it was time to get married, but we postponed it for a year because his sister had picked the date as us, so we moved our wedding. The tramp he is seeing now is my brother's wife. She was maid-of-honor at my wedding, as was my brother, best man. My H and my brother were best friends. We were maid-of-honor and best man at thier wedding too.<P>When we finally did get married, I was 6 months pregnant, but that didn't bother us because we desparately wanted a family. Eleven days after our wedding I lost our first son. He lived for a while and passed away later on. We were both devastated and I went into a depression for a while. My H was my rock at the time and I his.<P>The doctors told us that we would have tremendous trouble having a family because of a medical condition that I have, wherein I have difficulty carrying them to term. <P>I got pregnant shortly after the first loss and again we lost the baby. 6 weeks later I was pregnant again this time the doctors darn near put me on bed rest and low and behold, we had our son alive and well. The birth did not go well however, and we almost lost him, but God blessed us and he's here.<P>After all the trauma, I was freaked about getting pregnant and my H wasn't to willing to use protection, so our sex life suffered during the pregnancies and after because of it. I did get pregnant again though. Not to long after and this time I didn't lose the baby, but there was something terribly wrong with it where it wouldn't survive after birth, so they to do a late termination which landed me in the hospital for a week. This traumatized, not only us, but our son as well. When I finally did give birth to the baby at 3 in the morning, the nurses called my husband for him to come down and he wouldn't. Well, guess what I got pregnant again with our newest son, but this time it kicked off a major depression in me because of all the previous losses. The doctors put me on antidepressants and it took care of it until the birth. My doctor had anticipated that I would suffer some postpartum depression and told me to stay on the antid's relgiously. All this time my H was whining and *****ing to anyone that would listen about my lack of motivation and that he had to do everything. Never once did he say it to me, but to everybody else. I should also mention that both my boys were emergency c-sections.<P>Anyway, our second miracle child had arrived. never had we dreamed we would be so fortunate to have 2. This is when he took up with my sister-in-law, when our baby was a month old. He claimed that I neglected him and he deserved to be happy. He also claimed that I was cold to him. She went around to all my friends and family members, for years and I didn't know it, claimimg that I took advantage of him, walked all over him, took him for granted and that I [censored] whipped him, I said jump, he asked how high. She told people she had no idea why he married me. This was one of my best friends, supposedly, and Godmother of my children.<P>He bought into to all this, claimed she was right and thanked her right in front of me. He said he was leaving and that they were meant to be together and he was in love with her and not me. Well gues what again, I was pregnant and did'nt know it until later after he had left. She told him I was just looking for sympathy and he asked if it was his, did I do it on purpose and he hoped I would keep it but he wasn't ever coming home.<P>After about 6 weeks of his absence, he came over one day to see the boys and I lite into him because he had promised to meet us at church that day, as my son had asked him to and he didn't show up. I was pissed because he broke a promise to my son and was screwing her the previous night and she actually had the gaul to ask him to go to church with her the following morning. I screamed at him like I never had before and he broke down and asked to come home. Me, like a dummy, let him. He said he belonged here and that he wanted to make the marriage work. By this time, I was already well on my way to miscarrying the baby, which I did a week after he got home. He still doesn't even acknowledge that there even was a baby.<P>Another week later, he moved out onto the couch saying it didn't feel right sleeping with me. He had never given up contact with her. She had even come over to have coffee at our house, if you can imagine. <P>The last straw came when he told me he needed to get away and wanted to take the boys camping because every night was a marathon fight. I said sure and I found out later he had taken them camping with her. I was livid. I packed his clothes and threw them out on our deck. He called and asked if I would mind if he stayed another night and I told him I knew what he was doing and that I would send the cops out there to get the boys if I had to. He brought them home and I told him to get the hell out, which he finally did.<P>Since then he has started up hot and heavy with her, says he can't live with me and that he cares about me etc. I caught them together one night and snapped, beat the crap out of them both and her vehicle. He says that for years he hasn't been happy and that he only had the kids with me to see if it would make things better, all the while I asked him if he was happy and he always answered yes. <P>So, that's it Guys....sorry its so longwinded!<P>Deb

Deb1:<P>This is a horrible story. I'm so sorry for all the trauma that you have had to go through (loss of your children, loss of H). Compounded with the OW being your sister-in-law, how can it be any worse than that? A betrayal from 2 people you care about....<P>I'm at a loss for words after reading your story. Please hang in there....I'll be praying for you....

Deb-1, Your story got to me. Girlfriend thats abunch of s**t. I thought about calling him a bunch of foul names, but what's the use. My heart goes out to you and your babies. Is he just stupid or that cold hearted? Did he attend Church with you on a regular basis. Did nothing ever sink in? Have you talked to your Pastor at all. I'm sorry for you and my heart goes out to you.<BR>I'm praying for you and that your H is convicted in his heart.<BR>Ginn

oh Deb,<BR> My heart goes out to you. Gee, and I thought my marriage was messed up. <BR> I can tell you about a site for people who have lost children it's called "A place to remember" I posted the story of my daughter Jamie there, I lost her @ 8 1/2 months. You have endured so much, you are a very strong woman. And YOU haven't done anything wrong, there is no one who can say YOU haven't done everything possible. Know I am praying for you Deb, after all we Deb types have to stick together. I am so sorry about the loss of the children, and that your h has lost his mind. If you want to email me I'm at notagaintx@yahoo.com<BR>I'll keep you in my prayers.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Thanks Guys,<P>Don't get me wrong, my boys were worth it and if I had it to do all over again, I would because they're the light of my life!!<P>Ginn,<BR>Yes, he did talk to my pastor and, no, nothing did ever sink in.<P>NoTrust,<P>Thanks for your support.<P>Bozos_Deb,<P>I may just do that....thanks for the offer!!<P>Deb

Airheart,<P>If you could give your opinion, I'd appreciate it!!<P>Thanks, <BR>Deb