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OK, I get that now. Therefore the Plan B - to turn the affair into a BF/GF relationship with all of the everyday problems.
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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I feel so sad for you. You dismissed a divorce case from a man who:
1. Does not want you
2. wont even tell you where he is living
3. Is with one or more other women
4. Has been married 4 times
5. Has 10 or 11 chldren he does not care for
6. Lies, cheats, and is abusive
7. Said he was a pastor and still did all these things
8. Does criminal felonies.
9. Does not work just lives off other women
Why, honey, why do you want this man back in your life? Do you feel so very bad about yourself that you would take this man back? Why delay the divorce? What do you hope by delaying the divorce? Do you think you can make this evil man love you again????
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Joined: Dec 2002
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Stella:
I agree with you.
I've been posting IN GENERAL.
I was not aware of the character of 1stlove's WH.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Apr 2005
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I forgot about the times her husband shot a man, impregnanted is 20 year old OW when his wife just had a baby, never saw his own baby for 18 months (its whole life), lived on the streets, wont work,, lays guilt on her, uses money from her family, is a real overall creepy man.
Why I ask would any woman be in love with such a man!
LET HIM GO!
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Joined: Dec 2002
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He sounds EVIL..gives me the chills...this is not a GARDEN-VARIETY WAYWARD...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Starfish said it best months ago to this poster and most everyone here urged her to divorce:
"We can offer support and advice....but I think it's not the kind you're hoping for....because it is for YOU...not your marriage. I can't think of anyone here who would advise you to remain in this marriage or fight the divorce. This man is not safe for you on ANY level. The support you need is some individual counseling to help you understand WHY you would be drawn to such a destructive person. This man is toxic."
Last edited by Stellakat; 05/23/08 10:40 AM.
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Joined: Dec 2002
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EXACTLY...I AGREE with STAR...It's GREAT that she got away from him...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Dec 2007
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Well, a new number has called me more about 12 times today. I instantly assumed it was WH b/c of the area code. He left 3 messages on the phone.
1) first one asking if I was still at this number
2) if this is the right number to call him
3) the last message asking if (my name) was at this number, says he's looking for his WIFE and children and he needs to know because he is wondering how they are doing.
I don't know what to say. Maybe he has been served w/child support papers.
I filed a motion to dismiss based on what *I* felt comfortable with. And I'm at peace with that.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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I filed a motion to dismiss based on what *I* felt comfortable with. And I'm at peace with that. My1stlove, might I suggest that making decisions based on your "comfort" levels has not served you well? Why not use reason, logic and good judgment to make sane decisions for a change?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I agree.
I was not *comfortable* going to a lawyer and doing a legal separation agreement
I was not *comfortable* making him move out
I was not *comfortable* calling the police on him when he attacked me in front of our children
I was not *comfortable* having him arrested.
BUT, I did it because it was what was best for my children and myself.
Sometimes what is right does not always feel so good because it is so different from what we have been doing. It goes outside of our box. Do it anyway.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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My1stlove,
Sheesh! I agree with the others, protect yourself and your family, first and foremost. I hadn't realized the situation when you posted this thread.
Comfort will not be in your vocabulary when you are doing the right thing under these circumstances.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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