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Joined: Sep 2007
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Moving over here from the recovery forum. I have decided to divorce my FWH for the second time. It is the only solution. I have nothing more to give to him. Thank you to all of you that kept up with my story in recovery...I appreciate all your prayers for us..it just wasn't meant to be.

I am at peace with my decision and look forward to starting a new life with my kids.

I only pray that he will let us go without too much drama. I doubt this will happen, but who knows. I just pray I can keep all his crap away from my kids.

I have decided to petition the court for no visitation this time. Please pray it goes through.

Hello to all the people who don't know me. I look forward to getting to know you. And thanks again to all my already friends.


"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.

BS(me)-27
STBXFWH-27
Married-October 2000
DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
OC-1

formerly lostanduncertain
Joined: Jul 2001
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Wow. I can only imagine how tough this must be. How are you holding up? How are the kids doing?

And welcome to the DV side.


Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516
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GC thoughts & prayers are with you and the kids!


EA4-7/07,Dday7/29,NC 7/30/07
ME 47 WH 48
Married 30 yrs.
2 DD,4 GC
Found out
Learning
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Posts: 342
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greengables,

Thank you for the welcome. I am kinda glad to be on this side of it now. It's a relief in a way. I feel like I can breathe again.

It is very tough. I should have known better than to marry him again in the first place, but I fell in his trap again. Now I am breaking away for good.

I am doing ok. I am worried about what he will do now. I keep looking over my shoulder thinking he will be there. Every little sound makes my heart drop. My STBX is a very hateful person.

My younger two daughters are just fine. They don't really understand what is going on and I am so greatful for that. My oldest is very broken right now. I am going to get her into a new therapist as soon as school gets out. She understands why I made daddy leave and why she can't see him anymore, but she still misses him. It just breaks my heart that I let him back in to do this to us again.

But we will all work through this again. We were okay last time and we will be okay this time as well.

MVG - thank you so much for sticking with me. U already know how much I adore you. I wish I could talk to LA. I miss her.

I still haven't gotten a chance to catch up on your thread..I will soon, I promise.

you are also in my prayers constantly.


"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.

BS(me)-27
STBXFWH-27
Married-October 2000
DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
OC-1

formerly lostanduncertain
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516
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Ah Thanks GC!

Put a post on GQ looking for LA, she's been around she'll see.


EA4-7/07,Dday7/29,NC 7/30/07
ME 47 WH 48
Married 30 yrs.
2 DD,4 GC
Found out
Learning
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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If you've been on MB long enough, what you can say to your children later is that you did all you could to make it work.
You tried more than most and learned from the experience.

You will recover, as will your children. And you are correct that the oldest will experience it the most.

Good luck to you and your family.


It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
*Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.*
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Thanks guys. We are doing ok.

Right now I am just trying to divide up the bills and such. Getting all my paperwork ready for whenever we get a court date.

I am kinda surprised we have heard nothing from him since he got the PO paperwork. Not like him to let stuff go so easily. I know he has been bugging xOW and OC quite a bit. xOW has not been letting him see OC either and is also trying to get a PO. Can't really blame her.

I am still waiting on my tax check to come so that I can file the divorce paperwork. I hate waiting.

Please pray that I can find a job here soon. I desperately need the money to get all of this done.


"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.

BS(me)-27
STBXFWH-27
Married-October 2000
DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
OC-1

formerly lostanduncertain
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
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GC...you and your family are in my prayers.

LA

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516
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GC I hope things are going calmly for you. (((GC)))


EA4-7/07,Dday7/29,NC 7/30/07
ME 47 WH 48
Married 30 yrs.
2 DD,4 GC
Found out
Learning
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 342
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LA and MVG - thank you for your prayers. Things are going really well for now. Still haven't found a job, but hoping something will come up soon.

My parents told me that I could continue to live here for free without getting a job if I went back to school full time for my bachelors degree. I am not sure what to do. Hard to pass up a deal like that..I would love to go back to school. But I hate just living off my parents for almost 2 years.

I don't know. I am praying about it.

I hope you are both doing well.

It is good to hear from you, LA. I have missed you alot.

Will update more when I have more to update..lol.



"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.

BS(me)-27
STBXFWH-27
Married-October 2000
DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
OC-1

formerly lostanduncertain
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
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GC,

Have a suggestion...if you're considering going back to get your BA, I assume you have a college in your area, your city?

Would you consider applying for all sorts of jobs for the university or college you are considering attending? You can work full time and be given as part of your benefits package a number of credit hours, free, each semester. It's pretty standard benefit. That way, you could do both.

It would take longer than two years that way...I remember it being about five credit hours per semester way back in the day.

God will bring you what you need most...you already know that...be well. Thank you for the update.

LA

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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I've been trying to help my husband find a job for 4 years, a man who's incredibly talented and successful in sales, but his resume can't make it past the electronic filters companies have these days because he doesn't have a Bachelors degree. Out of at least 500 resumes sent, maybe 5 call backs.

Get the degree, no matter what you have to do.

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LA -

Thank you for the suggestion. I will look into that. I sent away for some information for IVY TECH yesterday. They have the most assistance for single moms. My cousin attended there and was very pleased with them.

Cat -

It is very frustrating, I know. I have been looking for a job for a very long time and have had very few call backs as well. I am definitely going...just don't know in what capacity yet..lol.

I hope something works out for your husband soon. Has he considered going for his BA?

Update -

I finally got my divorce papers exactly as I want them. I am planning to go file them next week. My dad is working on my van right now so I am out of wheels.

Lost 5 lbs already this week. Feeling pretty good about myself right now. My sister and I have been going to the gym 3 times a week. Figured it was time to turn EVERYTHING about my life around now.

xOW has her court date this Tuesday. I am going to go with her. If she can get supervised visitation it will just make it easier for me to. I just hope this can all be taken care of soon. I am so ready to move on to the next chapter of my life.


"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.

BS(me)-27
STBXFWH-27
Married-October 2000
DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
OC-1

formerly lostanduncertain
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516
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GC get your degree doing whatever you have to. Getting a job without one is almost impossible these days.

Glad to hear YOU are doing some positive things! Working out will not only make you physically stronger but IMO mentally stronger too. smile

In my thoughts & prayers!


EA4-7/07,Dday7/29,NC 7/30/07
ME 47 WH 48
Married 30 yrs.
2 DD,4 GC
Found out
Learning
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 342
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I went with xOW to court today. STBX got supervised visitation with OC. That will help me greatly. Went back to her house and visited with OC for about 2 hours. That was very nice. I have missed her.

I have my first appointment with my attorney tomorrow. My mom and sister are going with me. The attorney is very good. She is known for her success with messy divorces and custody battles....she doesn't waste time which is exactly what I need.

Please pray the loan I applied for goes through so I can pay for her. That would be so helpful! Still applying for jobs. Still hoping something comes through.

I haven't received the information I sent for from IVY TECH yet.



"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.

BS(me)-27
STBXFWH-27
Married-October 2000
DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
OC-1

formerly lostanduncertain
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516
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GC praying the best for you and the kids!



EA4-7/07,Dday7/29,NC 7/30/07
ME 47 WH 48
Married 30 yrs.
2 DD,4 GC
Found out
Learning
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,900
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,900
Not much to add, just checking in.

Keeping you and yours in my prayers GC.



Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 342
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Thanks guys.

Got the loan I needed to the attorney. Paying her on Monday and dropping off all of the paperwork she requested. My mind is in a whirl.

Not much else to report at this point. I have to make another appointment to discuss "strategy" as she calls it. Will try to do that Monday as well.

Next court date is June 12th. He is fighting the restraining order. Glad I will have an attorney with me on that one. Don't want to face him alone again.

Hope you are all doing well.

James..good to hear from you.


"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.

BS(me)-27
STBXFWH-27
Married-October 2000
DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
OC-1

formerly lostanduncertain
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516
M
mvg Offline
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516
Great GC! Keep your faith and strength up. Prayers to you and your family!


EA4-7/07,Dday7/29,NC 7/30/07
ME 47 WH 48
Married 30 yrs.
2 DD,4 GC
Found out
Learning
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 342
G
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 342
Signed my divorce papers June 4th. Sent them to him, but I have this feeling he isn't going to sign them. Let's hope he does. Nervous about court on Thursday, but I have plenty of support going with me. We also have to go talk to the prosecutor after the hearing so that we can talk to him about him charging my STBX with more assault charges. Pray that goes well and they charge him.


"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing that He will.

BS(me)-27
STBXFWH-27
Married-October 2000
DDay-September 2005
Divorced-October 2006
Recommitted - June 2007
Remarried-August 2007
Kicked him out - April 11, 2008 (all boundaries crossed)
Moved back with my parents - April 27, 2008 (threatening to kill me and tried to kidnap my oldest daughter)
Restraining Order - April 28, 2008
DD-(6,3,2)
OC-1

formerly lostanduncertain
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