I recieved another text from WW and it read;

"I need the rest of the paperwork for the taxes! College paperwork cannot be done without it. Also what is the status of the agreement? Thank you for letting me know about the utilities."

This came last night at 8:27......I haven't responded. My wife has always done the taxes and I was sure I had given her all the information she needed to do them. WW has filed for an extension for the taxes but I'm feeling that I should just file as married filing separately and just remove her from the equation so I won't hear anymore about it. WW can file for herself and whenever she pleases then.

How do you good people feel I should handle this? Should I just tell her I'm filing as married filing separately?

Also, notice the sarcasm at the end of WWs text. As suggested here on MB, I have not responded to her texts. WWs previous text, as you recall, requested I remove her name from the utilities if she was on them.

Well, what you WILL do and what you SHOULD do are completely different I'm sure.

I see that you've managed to waste another 8 days since you promised to take care of the Seperation Agreement, while pissing off your WW even more ... NOT GOOD.

Look Wats, she's offered to GIVE you EVERYTHING, except a van, and you're still screwing around trying to avoid her GIFT.

Rev,

My lawyer is ensuring I'm fully protected in the SA. The way it was written left things unclear and it was a mess. I've known my lawyer most of my life and we're friends. He is looking out for my best interests.

And how did I piss her off? And how am I avoiding anything, Rev?

I'm not sitting on the SA hoping for a golden egg, Rev. When my Lawyer is done and I'm fully protected, I will sign it.

Wats ... don't blow smoke at me ... I deal with attorneys and negotiated settlements every day of my working life. Changes are made to agreements and signed within HOURS not DAYS. If you were serious about protecting yourself and your children, rather than "HOPING" for a reconciliation that will not be coming, then the SA would have been signed WEEKS ago.

Instead, you keep referring to and waiting on some magical event that you expect to happen before the end of June, and appear to be acting on the assumption that keeping this SA "open" will allow that event to occur.

You are simply saying one thing and then doing another ... its the old action vs. words scenario, and as BH's, we have pretty good BS (NOT Betrayed Spouse) meters for when people are gaslighting us.

I see your point, Rev and understand what you're saying. My lawyer tells me he will let me know when it's ready and I haven't gotten word yet......I will contact him today. It took WWs lawyer nearly 2 months to get the SA to my lawyer. Anyway, I'm not making excuses, I will be signing the SA ASAP. Rev, trust me, it's not me that's holding this up....I assure you. I just need to put more heat under my lawyers butt.

Yes, I'm hoping for reconciliation but at this point I'm living my life as if it won't happen. I'm looking out for my family. The only event happening before the end of June is the SA will be signed.

I know you're trying to help me, Rev, and I really do appreciate it.

I agree completely. I have to do the same thing from time to time to keep things moving. I just sensed that you were putting more faith in "hoping" for reconciliation than "actions" towards protecting yourself and your children.

I needed that slap.....thanks. Every now and then we all do.

As far as the taxes go, my lawyer recommended I file separately but I had given WW the tax paperwork back in February. WW sat on it right up until the April deadline then texted me that she had filed an extension and needed more paperwork......the day before taxes were due!

I'm not really sure how to handle this. It's necessary for me to resolve this tax issue and contact with WW is needed to either ask for my info back so I can file separately or give her what she has requested to finish the taxes. I was sure I had given her everything but apparently I didn't give her the college credit info. WW just texted me this morning telling me this.

Funny, I was reading that 'Birds of a Feather' post and it's so true. Since this has happened my WW has not confided in anyone that would try to steer her in the 'save your marriage' direction but has associated herself with divorcees and people that hardly know her and would support her actions.

Wats:

As a CPA, I would recommend that you do what you want to do in regards to the taxes.

I believe on Amazin's thread, he went through similar circumstances, but before April 15th.

Your filing status for 2007 can only be Filing Joint, or Filing Seperate.

If you normally get a refund, then go with the filing joint. Your WW will feel ENTILED to the entire refund, no doubt. IF you generally owe a balance at April 15th, then go filing seperate. You might save dollars, and in some case substantial dollars if you file joint. But you are also signing up for the debt.

No matter what, this process is ripe for lovebusters. The Waywards want as much cash as possible, and your trying to not run afoul of the IRS/state.

Are you computer savvy? Buy Turbotax ($35) or something like that. IF your situation isn't that difficult, then prepare your own sample return. Redo your 2006 return in to the 2007 program to get feel for the process. The number will not match completely, but outside of the tables changing, page 1 of the 1040 and Schedule A should be ok. Ask your WW to give YOU all the info, and YOU will get it done. She has left the house, so, SHE should NOT be doing household things. Or, since I do not know how she will prepare the retun, taking it to someone else, or doing it on the computer as well. If she is, tell her that you want to review it fully before it is filed. Then rerun the numbers in your version of the software. Married filing joint, or seperate for example.

As an aside, ALL REFUNDs go to the old household or joint account. None are sent to HER. If $1,000 of the refund would be considered yours, you will NEVER see the cash if it goes to HER.


LG

LG, thanks....good advice.

I will get the Turbotax and work the numbers to see which is best......given I can get the info from WW back and if so, I will do this myself. WW usually did the taxes herself without the help of anyone else.

So, there is no way any refund would end up in her hands unless I gave it to her if she prepared the taxes?

Wats:

About this:



No.

You can list on the tax return that the refund be directly deposited. She lists HER account, it goes there. And POOF, no cash for you. So, you need more control than that.

Also, run the scenarios for the next couple of years, who gets to CLAIM which child. Do it filing seperatly, and single for yourself, if Plan D happens. Because what the SA may propose, and what might should good, (DS17 for her this year, and for you next year and vice versa,) MAY mean very little tax benefit. Please be sure. Make sure to update the ages depending on the year.

When I am involved in a divorce case, It's what I do. To make sure that it works for my client.

LG

Sounds good, LG, thanks again.

That direct deposit scenario was what I had feared.

It seems the best thing for me is to try to do this myself and remove WW from this process altogether if possible so I will have control.

Just got another text from WW about the taxes. It read:

"Will check fore sure what I am missing and let you know. Seriously, have you done anything with the agreement? I was going to take classes this fall. Need to be financially independent of you to do it. The separation agreement takes care of that. No matter what tho it is on record that it was filed for in Jan. Please just take care of it."

I co-signed for our daughters college loan with my daughter being the primary on the student loan. WW doesn't want to help with that at all, she just wants to run off and leave me to take care of our financial obligations. I paid one of WWs loans off for her when this started to blow up in December as an act of kindness and she wants to abandon me while she was every bit as wreckless in our financial mistakes. I'm getting it under control now and paying things off. The college loan is scary but I'll be okay.

How do you even respond to this? I don't plan to respond but boy, do I want to!

Hello everyone,

Well, I’m back and with news regarding the separation agreement. It has been signed and I have been ignoring my WWs attempts to contact me. The agreement was signed a while back. I just wanted to ask for a little guidance about the attempts to contact me. WW is saying she wants to come over and collect the rest of what she is going to get. The agreement is just what I have been telling everyone here. I get the house, property and all joint items in the house. She will only collect items that belonged to her when she comes to get the rest of her things. I assume I should get a mediator since I’m working in Plan B now. I called Verizon and asked about blocking her number and they told me because of my area, it was not possible. I feel I should be there when she comes to collect her last things but I guess that goes against Plan B. Any advice is welcome.

Thank you all for being here to help me.