ok im new to this but i need advice i dont know if this is the right place to post this
me and my GF have bean together for 22 years we have got 2 giles 19-17 we have had our ups and downs like we all do but 3 weaks ago now i picked her up from work and around 7:30 that night she just saide im leving you and the kids i need a new lifefor mysealf i did aske her what brought this on she just says its what i whant she says i love you but im not in love with you aneymore. i was deverstated and the kids wear crying i just dident know what to do . ive tried to be strong for the kids as thay are still with me all she done was took some of her cloths till she can get another place for her sealf. well 4 days past no word from her and the pain was getting to much so to me to kill my pain and the kids pain of seeaing me crying my sealf to sleep i thourt the easey way out was to OD mysealf so wrote note to my kids explaning why i done it and took the tablets and drink (i know it was stuped) but it was the only way to kill the pain i love her so much some one told meit might be midlife crises ive bean looking around web sites but becose she wont speak to me i dont no my 17 year old is a momeys kid but now she is saying that she has changed she is not like the mom she new somone plz help

realsteve...

PLEASE DON'T KILL YOURSELF!!! No matter what, you are a man who deserves better than what you have been given. It is not too late for you to re-invent your life and move on. Someone loves you...and I know it hurts now. My heart goes out to you my friend. Please consider this...and let's talk some more.

RS,

Welcome to Marriage Builders...sorry you found us because of such pain--happy you found us!

I know it feels like your marriage is over right now--it's not. You're married. You are. You can choose to stand for your marriage, to fight for it, or not.

Your choice.

Please get help and be safe for yourself, your family and your marriage. Your pain is huge right now...it won't always be that way--bank on it.

First thing I would do is independently find out if your wife is having an affair...read the forums here and Dr. Harley's articles...focus on learning and acting...acquiring knowledge. Read his article "The Walkaway Wife" and see if anything syncs to your situation.

Please know you are not alone...many people on this website are in, or have been, your same shoes. You won't go through this alone...and there is a lot you can do and stop doing...just like we did.

You're not powerless. Harley has Plans...read and get to know them...example to your DDs how, when you fear greatly, act with respect and love, anyway.

LA

Next time the pain gets too much, call the crisis hotline. Look in the blue/government pages or up front in the phone book. There's often emergency numbers.

You need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of the kids. Do you have a church? If not, pick one in your neighborhood and talk to the pastor. For 99% of the pastors, they don't care if you go to their church, they just want to help, and they're free.

Call the kids' school counselor and explain the situation. The counselor can talk to the teachers and make sure your kids get the help they need to handle this.

Call your family and get their help.

You aren't alone, and now is the time to give friends and family the gift of being needed. People want to be needed, so asking for help is a gift.

I know the pain is bad right now. It will start to get better. You just need to survive right now. Just stay alive so that you live to see a better day.

Try to keep doing the regular stuff... Go to work. Take a shower. Cook dinner. Right now, these are HUGE tasks. When you do each one, give yourself a pat on the back.

ty all for your sourport ive got to the stage weare ive just phoned my GP up as i just can not coupe aney more ive just bean to see my faimaley thay told me to get help ther is only so much that thay can help with and thay saide you need pro help now

RS,

Great choice on getting pro help. That's great self-care to do so.

Remember you are necessary in this world. Doesn't depend on what others do or don't...you are significant.

Please also consider calling the Harley's for counseling...they can give you a plan to save your marriage, personally recover...

LA