You are very clear. Now I just have to pray and figure out if I can do this. I personally don't believe there is anything left. It is like prison being with someone you have no trust for. Everyday tasks become scary because when you are away from that person, you just can never be sure what they are doing and you always believe they are doing exactly what they shouldn't be. I don't want to live that way. I don't know if talking to OW would be a good idea though. I don't think I would do that unless I was packing up and leaving for sure. He would be mad if he knew I did that and I don't think that she would speak to me in confidence. I can hardly wait until I am on the other side of whatever decision I make...I want all of this madness to be over.

Your Husband sounds a lot like my x wife.

Today I am a happier man knowing these kind of lies are not a part of MY life anymore. I tried to change a compulsive liar while she was cheating.....it's an uphill battle at best.

BYW I'm not an advocate for divorce at all, but somehow you need to make him realize this is NOT acceptable behavior.

Yeah...making him realize that this is not acceptable behavior is like pulling teeth. We talked today. He still maintains that there was nothing going on between him and this girl, even though he locked me out of our cell phone account and them immediately began to call her, instead of me, when we had the blow up and I left. No "Honey please don't go" or anything like that. And now, all of a sudden, he has "lost" his wedding ring. Yeah right, probably sold it because he has screwed up his checking account. Anyway, I am supposed to believe this...while he sees her everyday at work...I don't think so. Even if he works first and she works second, he still can never seem to get off of work on time...always there late. I hate liars.

I asked him, if there was nothing going on, then why were you guys talking on the phone so much as soon as I left...the same night, but when I came back home, all of a sudden you stopped calling her and she stopped calling you? I asked him what he told her to make her stop calling all of a sudden...he said "I don't remember telling her anything." Wow...I have never seen a bigger liar. I told him that I don't believe anything he has told me regarding this female. He says that if I feel that way, I will never be able to get past it...truest thing I have ever heard from him. I am leaving...now I have to find money. I am SO ready to go...I felt like hitting him today, I really need to get out of here.

He is just like my H, they convince themselves into believing their own lies and are VERY convincing telling you the lie(s). Once they are trapped inside the Big Lie Circle it's impossible for them to get out so they keep swimming around and around in the same sad state of covering lies with lies. Sad part is if you are like me you want to believe every word he says, because you love him and he is so convincing. He has to know that there are consequences for his actions, but this type rarely will ever admit all the truth. You may get bits and pieces but never the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of COMFORT, but where he stands at times of CHALLENGE and CONTROVERSY. Martin Luther King Jr.

Where is your man standing???