Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#2065587 05/29/08 11:22 PM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 104
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 104
Hey Road:

I wanted to let you know something. You have mentioned that you understood I went through a hard time. Thank you for saying that. But I don't want you to think I felt victumized for the affair. I did not. It was hard and when I say I laid in the bed I made I meant that. It just so happened that so many other things were happening at the same ttme that had nothing to do with the affair or pregnancy. It was just timing. Through every bit of it I believe there is a reason for everything. We all have to learn lessons in life. God does not give us more than we can handle and in the end and with time everything worked out well.

It was a lot of horrible things going on, but I've been through worse.........watching my brother die a slow painful death was much worse than anything I dealt with ever. I guess I shared things because I was trying to show a different view point, and why we as humans go through things and then have our beliefs built on our life experiences.

I'm a bit older than most of the "younger mothers" you've seen on this board having children. I think because of things I had NOT experienced before I had my children I may have dealt with everything differently if it would had happened pre kids days.

As far as parents goes, although there are a few issues there, I lvoe my parents dearly. I worry about my parents as they age espeically my dad. My issues don't blind my love for them or raising me as they did. Although there were issues and I would never repeat those issues, they do love us, and they raised us, kept a roof over our head, food on the table, and always gave us a great chirstmas. Other dates may have been overlooked but Christmas so was important to my dad for us. They were raised differently as well. Depression time and my mom had issues with her mother. It was a chain with my mother that I broke.

When I became pregnant with oc I was scared to death to tell my parents. I knew they would not disown me, but since my brother died my dad became a different person. My mom is who she is and I really did not think they would accept it well.

It was hard on my dad it took him 30 days to digest it and then he came to me and told me he was standing beside me and although he was very upset with whom I got pregnant with and not being married, he apprceiated the fact I was taking the resposnbility of it. My mom was amazing about it from the get go. I knew she was upset but she also knew how hard this all was for me. The twins and all I went through to have them and kept reminding me my unborn child was here for a reason and a blessing no matter what......maybe not to mm but to us. So I don't want you to think that I have resentments towards my parents either over what I shared with you.......

I just wanted you to know that
1. thank you for the kind words you said to me,
2. I was not a victum to the affair.
3. And I don't use my parents as my excuses as I love them, I just choose to take 1/2 of what we were raised with today and 1/2 of what we were raised with never. Does that make sense?

Oh and one more thing..........when you first posted I think I assumed you were a woman and I apoligize for that as well. blush

marysway #2066233 05/31/08 06:05 AM
Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
L
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
I'm not Road, but Mary I just wanted to comment....

What impresses me so much about you is that you don't consider yourself a victim of the affair. I think that's the problem in so many situations - people painting themselves victims and staying in that mind frame. If they don't take ownership of their own actions and part in it, how will they ever grow?

My past has much (and more) of the same WW/BH, WH/BW who-done-it stuff. When I questioned you on the other thread, I suspected that would be your response. And I was pleased to see you lay it out while owning your part.

You're a good kid, Charlie Brown. As the saying goes. lol

Have a great weekend.


Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.
Lucks #2066476 06/01/08 01:17 AM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 104
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 104
smile


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,361 guests, and 92 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson, Logan bauer
72,026 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by leemc - 07/18/25 10:58 AM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Spying husband arrested
by coooper - 06/24/25 09:19 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,522
Members72,026
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0