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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 21
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 21 |
Ok - we're now discussing terms of recovery....
He's not back & I'm not letting him back until I am 150% convinced he is serious.
We are sticking on the NC details - he's agreed to her, but not her boys (college age)
Haven't seen anything here about NC with family & friends - we're in a very small town.
Am I asking too much? Or should I insist on NC with her boys?
The reason I'm balking is because she is very crafty & needy & I'm afraid she will use them as a front to engage my DH in a "need" and if we go forward I don't want her even in the same universe as our family!
Thanks!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Maintain your boundaries and stick to your guns. Don't give in to contact with her grown boys. Of course she will exploit that. And WHY IN THE WORLD would he need to stay in contact with his affair partner's grown sons?
Sadly, the consequences of adultery are no contact for life. That includes contact with the family of the adultery partner.
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 514
Member
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Member
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 514 |
My FWH said he wanted to be able to maintain contact with OW's son's and I told him fine he could see them when they were at their dad's house and I would go with him. Well guess what he never brought it up again. He didn't really want to maintain contact with the OW son's, he was trying to negotiate a way to remain in contact with OW. That was when he was going back and forth between coming home to me and staying with her. Once his fog cleared a little he realized that there had to be no contact. It is amazing what a WS will try to negoitiate, stick with your boundaries! Once their wayward fog has cleared they will be glad you did.
BW 38 (me)
FWH 42
Married 7 years
DD 6
SD 15
11-2006 H said he wanted a divorce and walked out
3-2007 I told H I wanted him back
3-2007 to 4-2007 D-day's
4-2007 H moved back in for good
Today-In recovery, but a long way to recovered
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