My H was diagnosed with BPD. I feel very screwed up from being with him. The affairs are tramatic (or sex things), but this whole thing is emotionaly devastating. The suicide attempts, self-mutilation, alcohol, drugs, lying, running from responsibilities(sometimes literally), mental games, raging, anxiety, can't hold down a job, spends money on whims and on self before family, and the list goes on. The suicide and self-mutilation have subsided for the time being but the rest continue. I need serious help but are very few if any help groups for the spouse of a BPD. Anyone out there know anything about this disorder? that can help me. I feel very alone in this! H is on his way home from last running episode. He has been gone 4 weeks or so, a job truck driving, spent hundreds of $'s on self eating out every chance he got (called me from restaurants all the time on the road), telling me it cost sometimes $120. for motel rooms. (This is a man who spent money on prostitutes in the past, TRUST?). He sent me a whole $100. in the month he was gone. Took about $300. out of our account for this joy ride. Bills due, no money. Can't go on like this, it's just to crazy for me. Ginn

Ginn, I'm so sorry for what you're experiencing. I don't know anything about BPD, but it sounds like h*** to live with. It's so overwhelming to live with someone who is so irrational. I hope someone has some info for you.<P>Lizbeth

Ginn,<P>I don't know how much this will help, but it's a place to start..... <A HREF="http://home.health-center.com/english/brain/default.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://home.health-center.com/english/brain/default.htm</A> .<P>You should also check out posts by Chirs (CA123)..... he has a web page full of resources. <P>I know how devistating this can be... I will pray for you & your family.<P>Good luck & God's Blessings,<BR>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Lizbeth, thanks for your sympathy, it really helps to have someone care!<P>Butterfly, I went to the address you suggested. Again I am reafirmed about this diorder we are dealing with. The site really helped. I posted there. It talked about most of the acting out usually occurs in the teens, this is true of my H. He was doing the suicide and self mutalation, alcohol and severe drug abuse. Since he and I have been together he did go on a number of rampages. But as the article suggests it subsides with age. Whew! Glad to hear that. And it is true with my H. Most of all the BPD wants to know they are loved and accepted, I try my best to reafirm this with him, though it has been rough. Knowing what was wrong went a long way in ajusting my behavior. The love and acceptance was missing when he was growing up. Severe abuse at the hands of parents. This was confirmed by his mother and brother. Although his mother was part of the problem, very critical. I suggested he tell his mother how he felt over the phone. He told her to F*** off. I told him that wasn't exactly what I meant. But I guess it was a start for his healing, not to cow down to her evil toung. He has improved greatly since. Before that he was always trying to make her love him, do anything for her, she never appreciated him for it. Thank God that stage of his life is past. I appreciate all your help and your listening ears. It really helps. When I first started posting I felt like a physco lunitic. Your help and honesty has brought me back to reality and given me strength.<BR>Love ya all,<BR>Ginn