I was filling out a medical form for our three year old and could not remember her middle name. I sat there for a couple of minutes, and no matter how hard I thought, I couldn't come up with it. Luckily my 10 year old remembered it. The worst part is that it is the same as my middle name!<P>I am having so much trouble coping with being a single parent of six. Back when my H was here, and I wasn't working outside the home, just homeschooling the kids, people with fewer children would ask how I managed. Now I am working half-time and doing everything by myself, as well as coping (or not) with my misery and that of the kids too. This weekend I spent a total of 18 hours in the car bringing my college age daughters home and back for the long weekend. I have no family to help with the little ones. A friend took care of them until 11 one night so they wouldn't have to ride all that way in the car, because my H is vacationing somewhere with the OW. We can't afford cars for the kids in college, finding rides hasn't worked out, and one of them won't set foot in a car with her father, even if he were around to go get her. Even if it weren't for the emotional issues, just handling the logistical ones is driving me crazy.<P>My son said the other day that he would have thought that if his father was on vacation from work, he would want to spend more time with his kids, not less. They are having such a hard time dealing with the fact that they are not a high priority for their father anymore. I wish there were some way you could predict before you had children with someone whether the other parent would lose interest in them. Even a few years ago I would never have predicted that - I don't know that I would have predicted that even during the first six weeks after he left.

Nellie:<P>I don't have any advice for you, only support and understanding. Sounds like we're in a similar place right now.<P>I don't think you can predict that these things will happen, how a person can change so radically. I'm not sure you'll find an answer looking there.<P>The inequity of the situation is overwhelming. Your husband's behavior is truly revolting. I'm sorry you have to be put through this.<P>On my better days, I do believe that things even out. Today I'm not sure. Hopefully we'll both be able to feel more positive tomorrow.<P>My thoughts are with you.

I hear you Nellie,<P>I only have 3 kids and my wife left me almost 7 weeks ago. I am just learning how to be a single parent (dad)... something I never thought I'd have to do. I have a lot to learn too.<P>Stress hits us so hard. I've lost 25 pounds in the last six months (since discovery.) I am only 2 pounds more than my high school graduation weight... that after blowing up to 60 pounds over that weight during my marriage. I average, maybe, 5 hours of sleep a night (I really need 7 to function normally...)<P>I think the advice that "WE" make time for ourselves is the most important. I have a hard time with 3... how you can do it with 6 I don't know. Maybe your older ones can help.<P>My prayers are with you...<P>Jim<P>-----------<BR>I can dare myself... I'll put a pebble in my shoe...<BR>I can walk... I can walk! I shall call the pebble Dare...<BR>Dare shall be carried... And when we both have had enough<BR>I will take him from my shoe, singing... "Meet your new road!"...<BR>Finally glad... Finally glad... That you are here... By my side...

NSR,<BR>My older ones are helping out a lot. When my oldest two were home, they babysat a lot. My second daughter spent three hours cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom when she was home for the weekend, of her own volition. My 13 year old babysits a lot also. I can't ask them to do anymore than they already do.<P>Distressed and Mrs. M4B,<P>Thanks for the support. I haven't felt this stressed for years, even when I was working more than full-time with a one year old and living with no central heat and temperatures of twenty below zero. At least then I had hope that things would get better, that spring would come. Now I have no hope.

Nellie1 Spring does come, but it may be a long cold hard winter. But spring always comes one way or another. It may not come the way we want it to or when we want it to, but as you go through the process of dealing with all of this there will come a time when you will get better. Just take one day at a time and sometime one of those days will be spring. Love and Prayers<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Nellie I feel your pain and stress God I wish men would quit trying to be 18 again!! I felt better when you said your older children were helping out though.It sounds like you have more than your share of burdend right now but just remember "When rainy days upon you hold remember the rainbows promise told" Sometimes that helps me .I hope today finds some relief from your pain.I wish I could offer some suggestions that with six kids you could find some time for yourself but I only have two and most days it is impossible.Hang in there!!!

Nellie, I did some really stupid things as a result of stress. I even left my car in drive when I picked up the mail and it went down thedriveway, over the retaining wall and into a tree. I'm really sad and lonely since separating from my H, but not doing these kind of things because I'm not feeling the stress as badly. Don't know what to tell you other than to find some mode of relaxation each day even if its at night after the children are in bed. Yoga, some sort of exercise, etc. Hang in there. This is terrible.

Nellie, with only 2 kids, and they're adolescents, I can't imagine multiplying them by 3 & handling what you are. I echo the others, be good to you.<P>As for stress, yesterday I "opened" my store, flipped the signs, etc. About an hour later I thought, "My its been quiet." Pretty soon somebody hammers on the door. I hadn't unlocked it. . It's hard to make an income THAT way.<P>Take care and know others are blanking out on stuff the same way you are.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P>