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As some of you know, WW has a NC order on her from an incident last week...she isn't supposed to see me or make contact with me. I contacted her yesterday, and we met on a back road by a lake out of town. She came clean about everything (as far as I know)...it was very tough on me. I have taken the route of asking her about every detail (places, times, sex acts, satisfication, etc...). I'm not sure if any BS's here have asked such specific details, but I feel that it's important for me to know the graphic details (I don't want XOM to have any, and I mean ANY, intimate knowledge about my WW that I don't know about).
Anyway, we talked for a couple hours, then we had sex...twice...in the back seat. It was kinda fun to act like a teenager again lol.
Just thought I'd give you good folks an update.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Hope that does some good and count yourself lucky for getting lucky lol.
Going into recovery now so I can be a better person for my children and for me.
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Intro:
Just two thoughts:
1. By meeting with your WW while a DVP order is in effect (or whatever your state calls a domestic violence protective order), you're risking sending her to jail. A judge wouldn't care that you consented to the meeting.
2. I likewise demanded the specific details of their A, thinking I couldn't trust without her coming clean. I later regretted it. For at least a month afterwards, my imagination created little video clips of their sexcapades, that played in my head continually, each time driving me into a panic attack. Not fun. I guess they played enough times that I eventually became desensitized to them, as psychologists would say.
BH (me) age 55
FWW age 52
married 26 years
First DDay 2/23/08, 1 day after PA began, ~1-1/2 months after EA began
Multiple failed attempts at NC
confirmable NC since 1/23/09
(D 31; S 29) my first marriage
(D 27; S 25) her first marriage
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As some of you know, WW has a NC order on her from an incident last week...she isn't supposed to see me or make contact with me. I contacted her yesterday, :eek:   Why would you go against this "order"? Editing: This is clearly an abuse of the system that is in place to "protect" people. You shouldn't be doing this....it isn't right. committed
Last edited by committedandlovi; 06/05/08 09:00 AM. Reason: clarification
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1. I know it was a hige risk, but love makes you take risks...that's what it's all about, isn't it? I have no intentions of telling anyone about the contact...except you guys. We were very careful about it, and noone will ever know.
2. I was getting the "mind movies" anyway. At least now I don't have to jump from DVD to DVD....it's the same one, and I'll eventually get sick of it. Just like any other overplayed movie.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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As some of you know, WW has a NC order on her from an incident last week...she isn't supposed to see me or make contact with me. I contacted her yesterday, :eek: Why would you go against this "order"? Editing: This is clearly an abuse of the system that is in place to "protect" people. You shouldn't be doing this....it isn't right. committed You're right, I shouldn't have done it....I know. But, what's done is done.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Has your wife been tested for STD's???
If not, that was a bonehead act on your part.
Don't count on your wife having been honest with you.
As for the order...once again, IMHO... a big mistake on your part.
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I have no intentions of telling anyone about the contact...except you guys. We were very careful about it, and noone will ever know. Still doesn't make it right. You used the system to your benefit...and then when it no longer suits you (YOU wanted to see HER) you toss it to the side on YOUR whim. You need to drop that order and do not waste tax payer $$ on stuff like that. committed <turning off aggravation button>
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Yes, she was tested. I had her do it about a month ago, and made her show me the paperwork on it. Everything is clean.
I will definately not make any more contact until her hearing, on the 12th.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Yes. I would like to expose her in that forum. She's over there telling everyone that she had a one night stand....it was over a month of sex !!!!! She admitted it the other day after 2 months of trying to lie about it. Now, a few days after admitting it to me (after OM told me), she's over there telling evryone that it was one night and I'm pretty much an [censored]!!! I tried to say something, but got the boot. I can't even access the site to read the crap that she is spewing. She's foggy as all heck. I need to expose her. you posted this at 11:58 PM on June 3rd. less than 24 hours later you are screwing her in the backseat of a car. I suspect YOU are your own worst enemy.
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Better hope the OM doesn't find out about this thread. If he's spiteful and malicious, he can use it to really F with the both of you. :eek:
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I have no intentions of telling anyone about the contact...except you guys. We were very careful about it, and noone will ever know. Still doesn't make it right. You used the system to your benefit...and then when it no longer suits you (YOU wanted to see HER) you toss it to the side on YOUR whim. You need to drop that order and do not waste tax payer $$ on stuff like that. committed <turning off aggravation button> I think that you are assuming that I placed the order....I didn't. The police did. I didn't USE the system for anything...the system was bestowed upon me. I had no choice in the matter.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Yes. I would like to expose her in that forum. She's over there telling everyone that she had a one night stand....it was over a month of sex !!!!! She admitted it the other day after 2 months of trying to lie about it. Now, a few days after admitting it to me (after OM told me), she's over there telling evryone that it was one night and I'm pretty much an [censored]!!! I tried to say something, but got the boot. I can't even access the site to read the crap that she is spewing. She's foggy as all heck. I need to expose her. you posted this at 11:58 PM on June 3rd. less than 24 hours later you are screwing her in the backseat of a car. I suspect YOU are your own worst enemy. Probably right.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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I think that you are assuming that I placed the order....I didn't. The police did. I didn't USE the system for anything...the system was bestowed upon me. I had no choice in the matter. the police do not issue orders. How did this happen?
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I think that you are assuming that I placed the order....I didn't. The police did. I didn't USE the system for anything...the system was bestowed upon me. I had no choice in the matter. the police do not issue orders. How did this happen? Well...I certainly didn't do it. Where do you live?
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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I didn't USE the system for anything...the system was bestowed upon me. I had no choice in the matter. Oh... I understand now. Someone MADE you contact her and MADE you meet her. Someone MADE you screw her in the back seat of the car. Clear as mud. committed
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Look, you don't have to hammer it into me that I made the choice to contact her when it wasn't the right choice....I'm not an idiot.
What I'm saying is that I had nothing to do with the NC order being place on her.
for those who don't know the story...
She came to the house...we argued...I spoke to OM and found out she lied to me about the extent of the affair...I said hateful things to her...she flipped out...I called 911 and hung up to scare her into leaving...she left...cops showed up...saw scratches on my arm...asked if she did it...I said yes...the next day they called me and told me that they charged her, and placed a NC on her...I asked if it could be lifted...they said "no", not until her hearing on the 12th.
I DID NOT CHARGE MY WIFE...THE POLICE DID.
Last edited by introvert; 06/05/08 09:18 AM.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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introvert, you are a loose cannon, my friend, and the cannon is aimed right at your own foot. The others are exactly right, you are risking your wife's freedom. Just don't do the next best stupid thing and post your town.
Can you not contain yourself for another 10 days until the RO is lifted?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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YOU called the police (which was the right thing to do). You involved them and then they follow the law which says they have to take actions. This did not happen without YOU making the charge against her...otherwise, they wouldn't know how you got the scratches. And merely stating that she did this to you is in fact initiating the proceedings.
Domestic calls...they were always my favorite.
Last edited by mkeverydaycnt; 06/05/08 09:21 AM.
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introvert, you are a loose cannon, my friend, and the cannon is aimed right at your own foot. The others are exactly right, you are risking your wife's freedom. Just don't do the next best stupid thing and post your town.
Can you not contain yourself for another 10 days until the RO is lifted? That's my plan.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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