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Some of you are fimiliar with my situation, some my not be. My WW is not allowed to contact me for at least one more week (legal reasons). Would the telephone counselling with the Harvey's be beneficial to me (by myself), or would it be more beneficial for me to wait a week so my WW can join in on the counselling? I guess I'm asking if anyone here has done it alone, and if so, was it beneficial?
Thanks
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Anyone? edit : Just a very obvious bump 
Last edited by introvert; 06/05/08 11:50 AM.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Hi Intro,
My FWH and I will be starting phone counseling as soon as he returns from deployment. I did 2 over the phone sessions with SH at the end of april and one in latter part of may. Basically the IC that I had with SH, was for him to go over of what he would be talking about, and what plan he would use for my FWH. I don't think having at least one session before your WW returns will hurt. It will give you a headstart on knowing what will take place once your WW starts having her sessions over the phone.
Blessings,
FAM5
M:Feb.'96
D-Day: 4th of July '07
BS:(Me) almost 32
FWH: 35
DS: almost 14
DD: almost 12
DD: just turned 4
Holy Spirit entered my heart: when preg. w/ DS '94
Accepted Christ as my Saviour: 5/98
I Love my Family Forever
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Hi Intro,
My FWH and I will be starting phone counseling as soon as he returns from deployment. I did 2 over the phone sessions with SH at the end of april and one in latter part of may. Basically the IC that I had with SH, was for him to go over of what he would be talking about, and what plan he would use for my FWH. I don't think having at least one session before your WW returns will hurt. It will give you a headstart on knowing what will take place once your WW starts having her sessions over the phone.
Blessings,
FAM5 Thanks fam5. It sounds like it would be a good idea for me to at least get a feel for how the session with WW is going to go. A briefing, I guess you could say.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Get the phone counseling if there is any way possible.
The Harleys cut to the chase and won't waste your time.
And you need a plan very badly. You need to settle down and start working on recovery, and you really need expert help right now.
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Get the phone counseling if there is any way possible.
The Harleys cut to the chase and won't waste your time.
And you need a plan very badly. You need to settle down and start working on recovery, and you really need expert help right now. I just sent an email to get an appointment booked. I don't know how long it takes to get one going...i hope it isn't too long.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Depends on how busy they are. Now calm down, no more communication or meetings with her. She is getting help at the other site.
You need to settle down, and make a plan for saving your marriage.
If you get too anxious and need to do something, go clean the house.
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Depends on how busy they are. Now calm down, no more communication or meetings with her. She is getting help at the other site.
You need to settle down, and make a plan for saving your marriage.
If you get too anxious and need to do something, go clean the house. Maybe I will see if I can pay for an individual session for FWW (I'm calling her that now)...and, get the Harvey's to instigate a session with her while she is at her mother's. Do you think that this would be okay, or am I just making contact in a different way?
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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I have also just purchased "Surviving an Affair" from Amazon...stupid book stores around here don't have any.
Any answers to my question about setting up a phone counselling session with FWW?
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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The books are all readily available and reasonably priced on this website. I am sure that it would be possible to schedule your WW an appointment but having read your other threads, I would hold off on that. You are the one that is ready for counseling now. Refer to Larry's post on your last thread. One boink in the back of a car )oops two)does not qualify her for an F in front of the WW and if you make the mistake of thinking it does, it may only set you up for another fall.
It is not enough to read what the experts on this forum have to say, you have to really LISTEN to them. They have all either been through what you are going through or have counseled dozens of others through near identical scenarios.
I am not by the way one of those experts, just a BW who has far more experience in this than I ever wanted.
God's Blessings,
Say
Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
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Any answers to my question about setting up a phone counselling session with FWW? Maybe you could have an individual session with the Harleys, and your WW could have an individual session with the Harleys, and then once the restraining order is dealt with, you guys could have a joint session? Even a teleconference could be considered as violating the restraining order, which would only get your WW in more trouble.
Me - 44
DW - 39
Married 16 years
DS10
DS6
DD4
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Any answers to my question about setting up a phone counselling session with FWW? Maybe you could have an individual session with the Harleys, and your WW could have an individual session with the Harleys, and then once the restraining order is dealt with, you guys could have a joint session? Even a teleconference could be considered as violating the restraining order, which would only get your WW in more trouble. Ya, the question is how do I set up an appointment for her without having contact? That's my dilemma.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Ya, the question is how do I set up an appointment for her without having contact? That's my dilemma. Can you pass the necessary information to one of her friends or family members and have them relay it to her?
Me - 44
DW - 39
Married 16 years
DS10
DS6
DD4
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Ya, the question is how do I set up an appointment for her without having contact? That's my dilemma. Can you pass the necessary information to one of her friends or family members and have them relay it to her? I think it's okay to speak to her friends. I think family members are instructed to not contact me though. I will talk to her friend about it. Thanks.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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or would it be more beneficial for me to wait a week so my WW can join in on the counselling? Oh no, they counsel seperately. Now, y'all may SHARE an hour, [you for 30 min and then your W for 30 min] but it will be done APART for obvious reasons. Phone counseling works better, IMO, because folks feel more free to speak on the phone than in person and the atmosphere is more relaxed. But, I would suggest phone counseling. The Harleys are extremely effective and he won't waste your time yapping about your childhood. Instead he will assess your situation and give you a PLAN. I would suggest calling for an appt for you the first time so you can get all the paperwork done and allow Steve to assess your situation before he talks to your wife. You are better equipped to give him the full story anyway.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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