WHY WILL YOU NOT LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

My posts above were my posts for help.

So, where's your story?

Like we could ever believe you'd actually be truthful here!

You've lied, been deceitful, disrespected me by ignoring my requests to be left alone, faked your identity, stolen another's identity, ignored your bans by returning here over and over and over and over (how many times???)

From the character you have displayed here, you are as bad as any WS.

Your presence here makes it very difficult for me to help others, let alone get the help I need.

I came to this place to save, not just my marriage, but my life. WHY DID YOU?!

So, speak up. Let us finally know who the great BA is?

And why have you blessed ME with your never ending admiration?

edit

Actually, I don't even know "who all" you've been, and I'm getting pretty tired of having to guess.





Yes, I remember. I feared that as well. You have caused me much grief.




Yes, I know. I remember that you also repeatedly tried to get me to give you my email "so that you could share with me personally".

I asked you repeatedly to share here. Yet, you always refused.





There are lots of advocates and great moms (and dads) on this board.

So, I ask again.

Why ME?





I pretty much guessed that.

So what's the rest of the story?


You want respect from people here, it's time to be gut level open and honest.

Tell us your WHOLE story.

WHERE'S your story?


And why did you delete your post?

You see, you want respect, yet your actions are not respectable.

Post your story.

You know how to; you've read enough stories here to know they need to be detailed, they shouldn't have anything left out.

I'm still waiting...

edit

I will not support you in being deceitful on this board.

I will also not ever email you, as I realize that you are very computer savvy and could possibly trace my location.

Please stop this ridiculous behavior.

Why in the world would you be unwilling to post your story here if it would bring to you such respect?

edit

Oh Christmas,

Not BA again.

Ba, the only thing anyone around here can do is pray for you.

All Blessings,
Jerry

I don't agree with this, but I'll choose to step out of the debate.

Thank you for the mod alerts about this poster. Please trust the mods to deal with this.

Let's get this thread back on track for Try to Hard please.

ForeverHers, what a great response. Thanks.

I'm new to this sad club and looking for answers, help, advice, fellowship. I can see I'll get it.

I also have struggled with the over-PC language of infidelity. When my two-year-old decides to bash his brother over the head, I can honestly say that his behavior is bad, but the child is not. He's too little to feel empathy and therefore too little to know that he's done something other than break the rules (which he certainly IS able to understand). In other words, he knows he's in for a time out, but not aware of the pain he's caused.

I'm furious with therapists who repeatedly tell my husband he's not a bad person. No, he's not all bad all the time, but he has a 'leaky character', to borrow a phrase from Dr. Guzenburg. He has a hole in his soul, a serious character malformation which I believe does in fact make him a bad person on some level. He is certainly intelligent enough to have understood the vows he made to me, and I assume intelligent enough to comprehend that without a divorce paper that we are still, in fact, married. I KNOW he understands all this because he went to a good deal of trouble to cover up his adultery.

And I too believe that there are some people out there who just wouldn't, couldn't go down that path. I'm one, too. I choose every day to invite God into my life as the ultimate oversight partner. I choose every day to adhere to a moral code that assures I can go to sleep at night comfortable with myself. I make mistakes, for sure, but not catastrophic ones like infidelity.

Of course I wouldn't be here on this website if I didn't believe that a broken, mangled, dirty soul could be healed. My WH is making great strides to fix himself and the past assumptions about women and values that let him commit this huge crime against me, our kids, our marriage, and his own soul. I hope he manages to do it for all our sakes.

So, my two cents is that you don't need to believe that your WS was 'under the influence', you just need to believe that whatever it WAS, she's able to overcome it and permanently close that door.

TTH, I am more of a reader on this board than a writer but I have followed your thread for several months. I thought that we were kind of on the same time line until I discoverd a few days ago that my wifes affair had never stopped. Ive watched all your struggles and empathized but enough is enough.

you have a fully repentant FORMER wayward wife. It is time to change your signature and drop the "found out she was f__ing him afterall" and, for that matter much of the attitude that goes with it.

You have a fully repentant wayward wife. Either you can handle the fact that she had an affair or you cant. Enough with the navel gazing BS. It is time to decide wthether you can treat your wife with respect or you cannot.

with Sincere wishes that you can get over this.

BoW.

betterorworse - I think that's pretty harsh - he only really discovered this a few short weeks ago. While ILMH is making tremendous strides towards atonement, TTH might require more than a month to be reassured.

Give him a tiny break.

Maybe so, but the sooner he coomes to terms what has happenend the sooner they can both move on. And i really wnt him to look at his signature. That is his identity on this board and i want hime to really think if it accuratly conveys what he thinks of his wife now.

Thanks, SS for starting another thread.

I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately. I've really been wanting to catch up with you all. I have been reading along sporadically, but I've just now found some time to write.

When I posted my question over ten days ago, I was in a very different place. I am truly amazed at the life this thread has taken on. What was essentially a passing thought for me has been brought to life by you all. The comments from one and all have been amazing. It really has become almost a microstudy of just one of many millions of thoughts that sadly come into play in the case of adultery.

The compassion, understanding and good old fashioned debate has really brought significant help as we bump around in the dark on our own trip back to righteousness.

All in all we truly are having more good days than bad. I still have an enormous seemingly lead burden in my chest that is at the same time a hollowness. My grief is tangible and persistent.

Having grieved more times than I care to remember over my life, I recognize again the various stages that will ebb and flow, combine and flatten. It seems like an insurmountable endeavor at times. I don't know how I'm ever going to get over it all, but I am hopeful that one day I will be able to look back and know.

I struggle with containing my emotions that have been rubbed so raw for so long. I mostly suppress or turn to the good old "laugh it off" to cope. I try to stay busy, but often I can't seem to concentrate on even simple tasks like speaking coherently (or typing...), but I forge on.

Often I think of my young son who I hope can one day look to me as an example of what a good and decent man with compassion can be. I hope to honor the memory of my father in raising him in this way. I use him as a source of strength in my times of weakness. He will never know how much he has helped me. Hopefully I never have to tell him.

I know I have been disrespectful and angry with my wife at times. There are times where just a simple look or comment will trigger unexpected emotional responses which if I were 100% might be tough to manage, and I stumble. But I absolutely still honor the vows I have with her which preceded our nuptials. At all times I try to Love, Honor and Protect her. I still feel the constant sting of feeling that I failed to protect her... Alas.

To the subject at hand, I have a fuller understanding of the dynamics and intricacies of the "Why", though it would be foolish to believe that a full understanding of ANY OF IT would be possible within one month of this revelation.

I am punchdrunk. Someone on this thread referred to it as a "walking death". That sadly hit home with me.

We are doing the program. I believe that my wife is remorseful. We have a shot.

In the grand scheme of things, I guess thats all you can hope for.

Hopefully,
TTH

BoW

I am a BW with a fully repentant former wayward husband and it doesn't make it all better. I still have major challenges to overcome in this process. My FWH and I are still working on the issues that created the breakdown in our relationship.

I don't think that TTH isn't ungrateful that his WW is repentant or that she is working hard to recover. TTH is working through HIS OWN STUFF...how to come to terms with this new view on his life.

I am so sorry to hear that your spouse is still involved in the A.

HTM

Thank you both, gentlemen.

BOW, I see your point.

As with all of what I read here, I will consider more.

TTH, thankyou, and I cant say I would have made all the same comments had you had made your last post earlier, but I still want you to think about you signature.

****EDIT****