....it seems as though WW's are more willing to give than WH's. At least that's how it seems to me. Also, the WH's that DO work on recovery have been with their spouses for a very long time and seem to be older men. I just wonder if there is any hope at all for my WH and myself. He is only 25 and I'm 30. We've been married for 7 years, so maybe he has just grown into the man that he is going to be for the rest of his life.

Also, can recovery happen after a long amount of time apart and lots of ugly words spoken? My MIL mentioned today that our relationship is too far gone for any hope of reconciliation and it's only been six weeks. I have to admit, that 95% of me agrees, but that other 5% keeps me going sometimes. Based on statistics or whatever, is it even possible or probable? Am I fooling myself by wanting to be with someone like this and should I just go on with my life?

Sorry to start another thread, but I was curious about this subject.

Thanks.
-A-

Any kids?

Larry

Yes, DD5 and DS who is due august 2nd

If there were no children, this would be much easier to handle. I think that I could get through it with no problem. However, there ARE....including the one currently inhabiting my body, that we made together out of love. Blah, are men as susceptible to their children as any loving mother is? I would stay with my husband if I wasn't happy because of my children and because I know that I could make myself happy. Why doesn't he see it that way?

God and Mom made him, it is unlikely you are going to change him, especially when MIL is taking the route she is taking. Given that there are two kids involved, both of whom are Grandkids, it seems to me that she should be speaking out of the other side of her mouth.

I believe that if it were me, I would point out that shouting and hollering in a likely vain attempt to protect two very innocent kids from the sins of the father is to be understood.

The answer to your question is that grownups do what grownups do no matter what age they are. If your husband is a grownup and admits his screw up, all is good. If he isn't a grownup, then he will pay the price of consequences and so will you through no choice of your own.

A wayward spouse screwing up his kids lives deserves no respect. On the other hand, a close read of the teachings of Harley reveals that Plan A works (sometimes), as does Plan B. It is all good if counterintuitive. At some point, you can turn the screws, it is a judgement decision.

larry