Some of you might read that and see some red flags when i say im a bit wary that there are no severe withdrawal symptoms. Well...lets see who can guess why that was...hmm... perhaps because the the WW was not in fact i9n withdrawal but, in fact, still very much involved in a full blown, OM boinkin, BH lying to AFFAIR!!!!.
My FWW went through two false NC's before the third, last one stuck. Shortly after the second time she told me the affair was over, I found this site, and read the article about ending the A, with its description of how the WS goes through withdrawal, because of the loss of the loved OP. I thence reflected - was my WW showing signs of withdrawal? No, nope, nada. She expressed signs of relief, saying that she was glad this mess was over and we could get our lives back on track, but no signs of depression or anger. This lack of withdrawal symptoms then made me suspicious, but she still adamently affirmed it was over. But then, I luckily guessed at the remote access code for OM's answering machine (the factory default), and listened to the sickening messages she had left, even from just the prior two days. She even asked him to call back so that they could arrange when he could come over my house! After that, I began a Plan B, at which time she stuck, and has stuck, with a NC. She then began exhibiting the classic symptoms of withdrawal, and the NC still appears genuine.
No, I hear you cry those are not good reasons! Why? Why would anyone possibly do this. Hmm lets see, to be with a 26 year old guy who she used to work with, who got dumped by his fiance, who is now unemployed, who then got back with his former fiance and started cheatin on her again, who doesn't have a job! who lives with his parents and who is about to leave in 3 weeks and join the Marine Corps.
Is the social status of the OP supposed to matter? My FWW's OM is a twice-convicted felon, ex-drug dealer who spent 7 years in prison, and is now out on parole, who now that he is out of prison, is being pursued by Child Support Enforcement for the three women he knocked up with four kids, two of whom he has never seen, and one of the other two hates him. The last has had limited relationship. OM lives in a rented trailer. Yet, my FWW was impressed that he said he would accept our grandson we were raising as his own. In contrast, I have a Bachelor's, a Master's and a Professional degree, make about six times was OM makes (and that's before what he'll have left after Child Support gets ahold of him), and helped raise our four kids, and now our grandson. The one thing going for OM is that he's the classic "bad boy", and knows what to say to seduce a woman, and how to frack in every position in the book and in every orifice possible, and to do it 5 hours straight.
Well, by god, now it makes perfect sense! Why wouldn't any woman jump at that opportunity. Who could resist. To [censored] with by BH's plan A! To [censored] with marriage counseling! And to [censored] with the three little kids who look at her each day with absolute confidence that she will always guide them and protect them in this world!
I certainly empathize, and likewise found solace with my friends, Jim Beam and Johnny Walker after the two false NC's. When you sober up, you might begin considering a Plan B. My WW was a cake eater, and when I began my Plan B is when she finally stuck with the most recent NC.
I stuck with my WW because, through the lies and false NC's, I realized it wasn't her inhabiting her body. This WW was insane and irrational, which is what happens to the brain when it is suffering an infatuation and is literally stoned on various hormones. But, infatuations can't last (3-6 months is typical), and when I saw hers was waning, I then implemented the Plan B. Any earlier, while she was fully stoned by the infatuation, and she wouldn't have cared. So far, it seems to have worked.
I wish you the best, BoW
