There has been a change in my plans.
I really need to elmimate the ways that toxic people can check up on me. It is getting out of hand and I am putting a stop to it.

I received an email in my old email account this morning from a website I was dabbling with at the beginning of the year. It was something I was playing with for a side business when I reached my own goals. When I got busier with doing homework and such I forgot all about it and honestly thought I had deleted the website but apparently had not. Well, it had a guestbook where you can leave messages and when someone does I will get an email. Much to my surprise, my email said I had an entry from a site I thought I had deleted! And guess who it was from? Little do people know that if you get an entry the website owner is told where it came from, who it came from. It came from ow, and the only way she would have known about it is from you know who.

I might add that these childish games are coming from people who are supposed to be grown adults.

So, I deleted the site, which I thought I had done before anyway. And I am definitely going to take a break from here. Nothing like feeling like everything you say and do is now being watched by people that I would not even associate with if my life depended on it. Pray for, yes, associate with, no.

I really do need to not be here for a while. I will continue to do what I always do: concnetrate on my children because they are the most important thing here, and get my degree done, and continue to become successful. If I need to vent, I will do so with my bff that I actually met through exbf. She is awesome and one of my best friends.

I will end by saying that I am more hurt than angry at the actions taken by certain people. And I am sure that now that they have read here, they weren't too keen on the things I vented about them, any of them. But anything I vented was my reality, my feelings, my hurt, my anger, my pain.
However, I also just consider the sources of these feelings, and they are people who are very selfish and don't care who gets hurt for their own selfish pleasure, even if it was my children.

Exbf: sorry, but you won't be able to check up on me here anymore. I really thought you were better than stooping to the level you have, but Lord knows I have been wrong about people before. All gifts you gave me out of your supposed love for me have been donated to charity. Yes, even the jewelry. I want no reminders of you or our time together. There was no need for any of this. Even after the nice email I sent you a few months ago, about forgiveness, you stab me in the back by posting to the one person who caused me more pain in my life than any other human being ever had. It's sad really. You are a grown man acting like this is high school. I truly want to be left alone and I truly do not have time for such games. Play them all you want, but leave me out of them. What would your nice church friends think of you posting to my husband's affair partner I wonder? Just like me, I am sure they do not know you at all. I moved on with my life away from you a long time ago, I would appreciate it if you would do the same.

It is funny how Karma works, or even God for that matter. What goes around always eventually ends up coming around. I wash my hands of all of this insanity and leave it in God's hands.

I would sincerely appreciate me and my children's lives being left alone.

Thank you
mlhb

My friends from here, please keep in touch.

Mods,

Can you please delete my account from MB? I went to my profile and do not see a way to do it.

Thank you
mlhb

Mlhb, if you delete your account, nobody will see this thread. Why not wait a day or so? Might as well let them see your message being as you've gone to the trouble to type it.

Recommendation:

Your being so hurt and frustrated over this makes their actions fruitful and worthwhile.

If someone is trying to agitate you, your post at the beginning of this thread is going to make them happy, willing to continue.

Quit posting for awhile, chage your screen name, edit your profile.

Do this all quitely, avoid fueling more of the same.

Just my .02

-JKT

MLHB, I am so sorry you are in this situation. I can understand how you feel invaded and violated.

While some would say the best way to deal with that is to stick around and ignore the stalkers, there is also something to be said for pulling a "Plan B" on the whole stinking bunch of them, for your own peace. Sometimes just having the peace and quiet to step back away from the crap is a very healthy thing.

You are obviously a very intelligent woman, and you are the best qualified to know what works best for you, and what feels like the right thing. (Yes I know "feelings" can be dangerous, but when one is walking with God He often uses our feelings to give us messages.)

You know, you can always "go dark" for a bit, then come back with a new name and profile to enjoy this community once again. You will be missed, but it's YOUR healing process here that is important, whichever choice you make.

God bless you.

MLHB..if yuou care to email me the name of the person in question...and his town..I will be happy to contact a friend of mine from the IRS...he LOVES to initiate audits on a-holes.

MEDC -

Ohhhhhh, I know that you don't know me, but can I take you up on that offer??????

Tee heeee....

MHLB - you and I have posted to one another on the Divorced board. I say that you just ignore the jokers - and carry on with your life. Your signature line said something like "living well is the best revenge" - sooooo LIVE WELL and ignore the freaks...

Laura

Hack, cough, THAT is cold.

Larry

Yes, it is...but it has REALLY come in handy twice in my life!

Thanks MEDC, it is tempting, trust me. But I don't function that way.

I am sure I will be back with a new name and profile at some point not too far away. And for those whose email address I have I will email you and let you know what my new id is so you know it is me.

Take care everyone, it is what is for the best.

I can't safely vent here any longer without people knowing. How would you feel if your safe place to vent about om/ow had been given away to that person and they were reading here? And they lived in the same town? And they were leaving you a message telling you you were crazy (because of what they read here?)
You'd feel your safe anonymous place was gone too.

I did vent here about exbf from time to time and even though he was not a member here very long and did not post much when he was, some thought that was not kosher for me to do knowing he might be reading. Well, anything I posted was my feelings and factual situations, and nonetheless, now you can see what kind of man I was dealing with. One, who, even though he knew the pain and devastation she caused my family, would seek out ow and post to her because he thought she was young and hot. Screw the fact that she made me and my kids life full of pain and was a complete b*tch to me even though she is the one who did ME wrong.

Bottom line is he is either exacting revenge on me for venting here about him or he is mad because I enforced no contact since last January and stuck to it. He does not handle rejection well at all, I have seen proof of that when I was with him.

Either way, this is for the best, for now.
I will be back to help people soon with a new name and profile and hopefully this once again can be my safe place.

mlhb

gee, on the same thread i posted on the after divorce/dating board i am being "harrassed" by a brand new poster who just signed up today and is only posting to MY thread....

coincidence?

i think not.

a big thank you to the mods for keeping it under control there.

the fact that it is obviously someone who knows me only further validates my points.

i am having fun on this last day of posting here under mlhb.

using the crazy smile since that is what I am told I am...might as well act the part!

muahhhhhhahhhhhhaaaa

mlhb

I'd say you haven't taken the venting far enough - we really should know who he is, so that any future relationship from MB he tries to seduce into his sick world will at least be warned.

MEDC.....man you kill me....I just had my gall bladder taken out and should not be laughing this hard.....


mlhb....

Girl...I personally will miss you. Sorry to hear about all of this, but I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from......hugs going out to ya....

not2fun

kaylandy,

the only person who seems to show any interest in him is another poster on the after divorce and dating board who has actually asked him to email her if the "new" poster is him. and she always came to his defense when i would vent about him. if she is interested in a man who essentially, on more than one occasion, broke my trust by screwing a 21 year old and going away for a weekend with another 20 something who had like 2 kids from 2 different marriages by the age of 27 or something like that, while we were supposedly still dating, she can have at him. those are the types of situations i would vent about here. facts are facts folks. i wasn't posting about stupid little whiny stuff. i was posting about actual things that were done that were messing with my head.

however, i am to blame too. i chose to attempt to have a relationship with someone who was fresh out of a marriage and obviously not over it ending. and who was out there sewing his wild oats with any 20 something that would look his way. (and they only did because he would drool all over them and spend his money. trust me, when something their age came along and they were done using him, they were on their merry little way). i was ready for a grown up big boy big girl relationship and he was not , he still wanted to play high school. there were red flags all over the place before we even met that i chose to ignore because in other ways he seemed so nice and we had a lot in common, etc.
it is my fault when, come christmas time he freaked out and decided he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and yet, against the advice of my friends, a week later i took him back. it was my fault for not enforcing my boundaries with him and for letting him stomp all over them. it is my fault for staying with him after losing money on a plane ticket i had purchased well in advance when i was supposed to spend a week at easter with him but he canceled it because of his exwife and her schedule and the fact that she rules his life and he doesn't have the balls to stand up to her. instead of saying good bye then i reschedule my time to see him, changed the flight which caused me a loss of money, and took time off from work to go and see him which i did not get paid for when, over easter, i was on vacation all ready.

i could go on and on trust me. so i am just as much to blame for allowing this relationship to continue when in fact it was a very screwed up one where my boundaries were ignored and disrespected and my feelings not made a priority.

i falsely assumed that someone who would be on marriage builders would automatically be a good safe person. if they are here they must be the good guy right? i will never assume that again. i was too new here myself at that point to realize that that is not necessarily true.

anyway, the last few days have been really strange for me. someone i have not thought even 2 seconds about in the last 6 months has been invading my brain non-stop now because i am angry and just in shock. like i told my friend, none of us never really knew him at all. then she was honest with me and said that she always had a strange feeling about him. she said he would stare at her when her and her husband went to the same church as they, that he would be flirtatious with her, and would send her text messages that she thought were completely inappropriate. she also said he would call her a lot wanting a play date for her child and his but only invite her to go and not her husband. she finally said she told her husband about it and showed him the texts and refused to do anything with him and his daughter unless her husband was there. her husband is the one who told me to let him go and find someone better because he could not be trusted. and it all made sense to me because he used to comment to me how he thought my friend was so attractive. made me very uncomfortable how he would do that. always say how attractive other women were to him. i think that is rude and disrespectful but again, i did not enforce my boundaries. i sure didn't sit there and tell him how hot i thought other guys were. i am sure it was hard for my friend to tell me those things but i am glad she did. they don't even associate with him anymore because they were so disgusted with is behaviors.

i just don't understand so much of this mess. or why he would do such things.

i keep saying i am going to leave and then keep changing my mind. i am so torn and indecisive which is a sign that i am really messed up over this situation. i am usually a very sure and confident person, but now i am not sure what to do. pare of me doesn't want anyone i know reading what i post and the other part of me is like "f em", if they so choose to continually check up on me than it serves them right for whatever they read. just like my stupid curiosity of wanting to see my exes and ow's myspace page that day, i chose to do it and got bit in the a** when i did. my bad for being stupid.

so, i guess if people really have nothing better to do than to check up on me, and have that morbid need to do it on a continual basis, then don't be too surprised that when the need arises, i may be venting about you. that would be your bad for coming to a place you know i use to vent.

after thinking a lot about it, i just don't want to go through the pain of having a new name and having everyone try and figure out who i am.

i am mlhb, always have been and always will be. i am a good person at heart, but i do get angry, hurt, frustrated, and completely p*ssed off at times. i have used this board to help others and to help myself. to vent, to share my successes and my failures, and to meet some really wonderful helpful people.

i just want this all to blow over.
i am here to stay, so, so be it.

life is too short for this crap.

to each and everyone,
to welcome friends and sicko invaders,
HAPPY READING!

mlhb

What would be the healthy thing for you to do?

I know I have vowed to leave MB several times - for various reasons. The only thing I've been successful in doing is to avoid reading and posting much on the emotional needs board.

To choose out of this high school drama fest would be very healthy. I would encourage a new i.d. That way, the drama club would have to read through a whole lot of threads to find you; and if you are careful about not dropping any hints as to who you are, if you are even here, that they would lose interest.

All the lizard wants is to not be insignificant... which he is. But he's had too much of your attention lately because he did the one thing he knew would get under your skin.

If you do decide to retain your i.d. then not one more word about lizards and friends - no venting, nothing. they are insignificant and not worth the finger motion to type a word about them.

and i could not agree more.

i would really like to lay this to rest now.

i will continue to post under this id simply because everyone here already knows me under that one.

but no more talk of this mess.

i ask that others respec that too please.

this topic is closed.

thank you

mods, maybe you could lock this thread for me?