Hi - I've been divorced since January but separated for over 3 years. XH calls today to tell me that his closest colleague and friend has a serious medical condition.

I'm not sure what to say or what to do for him. He divorced me, confirmed over and over our marriage wasn't worth saving, never came clean or tried to work on our marriage. He claims to be an innocent victim....and while I made mistakes he was not even near the perfect husband.

I'm sad for his friend - but he and his wife never kept up the friendship I had with them after the separation. Another weird thing is that my XH was so enamored with his friend's wife - there were times when we would be out together and I would look over at my XH and he would be staring at his friend's wife with an intense look of admiration and desire - believe me I'm not a jealous kook - it was really obvious.

So - just really venting - since it makes me sad to hear from him. Makes me sad because of the illness, but makes me sad that XH needed to tell me - and not sure why.

Maybe your XH just felt the need to talk to you and that was an excuse he could use.
Please don't be bitter about what has gone on before. Bitterness will only hurt you and no one else.
There is a bond formed in marriage that even if we try we can never completely break.
I wish you peace, joy and happiness