There has been a change in my plans. I was going to keep posting here, even just on other threads, but have even changed that decision now.
I really need to elmimate the ways that toxic people can check up on me. It is getting out of hand and I am putting a stop to it.

I received an email in my old email account this morning from a website I was dabbling with at the beginning of the year. It was something I was playing with for a side business when I reached my own goals. When I got busier with doing homework and such I forgot all about it and honestly thought I had deleted the website but apparently had not. Well, it had a guestbook where you can leave messages and when someone does I will get an email. Much to my surprise, my email said I had an entry from a site I thought I had deleted! And guess who it was from? Little do people know that if you get an entry the website owner is told where it came from, who it came from. It came from ow, and the only way she would have known about it is from you know who.

I might add that these childish games are coming from people who are supposed to be grown adults.

So, I deleted the site, which I thought I had done before anyway. And I am definitely going to take a break from here. Nothing like feeling like everything you say and do is now being watched by people that I would not even associate with if my life depended on it. Pray for, yes, associate with, no.

I really do need to not be here for a while. I will continue to do what I always do: concnetrate on my children because they are the most important thing here, and get my degree done, and continue to become successful. If I need to vent, I will do so with my bff that I actually met through exbf. She is awesome and one of my best friends.

I will end by saying that I am more hurt than angry at the actions taken by certain people. And I am sure that now that they have read here, they weren't too keen on the things I vented about them, any of them. But anything I vented was my reality, my feelings, my hurt, my anger, my pain.
However, I also just consider the sources of these feelings, and they are people who are very selfish and don't care who gets hurt for their own selfish pleasure, even if it was my children.

Exbf: sorry, but you won't be able to check up on me here anymore. I really thought you were better than stooping to the level you have, but Lord knows I have been wrong about people before. All gifts you gave me out of your supposed love for me have been donated to charity. Yes, even the jewelry. I want no reminders of you or our time together. There was no need for any of this. Even after the nice email I sent you a few months ago, about forgiveness, you stab me in the back by posting to the one person who caused me more pain in my life than any other human being ever had. It's sad really. You are a grown man acting like this is high school. I truly want to be left alone and I truly do not have time for such games. Play them all you want, but leave me out of them. What would your nice church friends think of you posting to my husband's affair partner I wonder? Just like me, I am sure they do not know you at all. I moved on with my life away from you a long time ago, I would appreciate it if you would do the same.

It is funny how Karma works, or even God for that matter. What goes around always eventually ends up coming around. I wash my hands of all of this insanity and leave it in God's hands.

I would sincerely appreciate me and my children's lives being left alone.

Thank you
mlhb

My friends from here, please keep in touch.

Mods,

Can you please delete my account from MB? I went to my profile and do not see a way to do it.

Thank you
mlhb

**EDIT**

Hi Kettle, I'm Pot!

BTW, learn how to use at least some similance proper grammar, you won't seem so trailer trashy.

Similance? English is my second-language, I don't know this word similance.

Welcome pascovitch. You've just been introduced to the concept of irony.

**EDIT**

Well, at least you have good comprehension skills.

I really think you are her stalker.

Insecurity typically comes from a lack of trust.

Well, if you are her "stalker" and you've seen where she's been lied to over the years, it's highly likely that you've been lied to also.

Or does that thought hurt so much that you need to attack?

Let her be with her choices.

***EDIT***

Exactly, cause why would you care otherwise and have this be your first ever post on MB. Or continue carrying on?

Gekko if this is you please email me...otherwise disregard.

Ronda

I did not care who read my posts when I could post anonymously.
I care now because my safe place to vent my anger or frustrations about me ex and ow has now been invaded by at least her if not him too, and it is no longer ok for me to post here now because of that.

I am angry because my safe anonymous place, a place I have come to for 3 years now has been told to the ow or she has found it somehow. How would all of you feel if your safe place to vent had been told to ow/om, who lives in the same town as you, and who now is sending you messages telling you you are crazy because you have been venting about them?

I also vented here about exbf and some did not think that was kosher since he was once a member here for a very short time. I get that, but now you all know what I was dealing with. A man who would stoop to the level of searching out and posting on the myspace page of the ow, the woman who caused me and my children so much pain over the last 4 years. He knew the destruction she caused and yet, because she is young and hot, none of that matters, he goes and posts on the evil ones page.

Of course I am hurt and I am angry. And now I can't safely post my vents here about ow without her reading it. If I wanted her to read all of that stuff I would have emailed it to her. I wanted an anonymous place.

Maybe exbf is exacting revenge on me because I vented about him here or maybe he is mad because I enforced no contact with him last January and I completely shut him out of my life at that point, and rejection, I know for a fact, he does not take well.
Either way,what has been done is now causing problems for me personally and that is not ok.

I do enjoy posting and helping out others so I may be back with a new name at some point in time. If I do, I will be sure to email those I know and give them my new ID so that they can know it is me.

Do I have low self esteem? I don't think so. Insecurities? Oh, I am sure I do. My trust has been betrayed a million fold by those in my life I have cared about. I will probably be insecure for a while.

This is for the best for now, untiil all of this MESS blows over.

And I could be wrong, but I doubt that is gekko posting. English is not his second language and he is not a "stocker" whatever that means.

And why Alluring would be asking Gekko to email her is beyond me.

Take care everyone.

mlhb

**EDIT**.

I don't disagree with you. I should just say **edit** em all.

I do need to let it go and that is why I am leaving for awhile, so I can.


Improve my life by not being here? I dunno. My life is going pretty well. Sold my house, am moving to a new town for a fresh start, have great kids, and am almost done my bachelor's degree. Have a great job too. Things usually go pretty well until someone does something moronically stupid and p*sses me off. I tend to hang onto it for a bit before I let it go. My bad. Guess I need to work on that.

Thank you for the edits Revera...

It is pretty obvious this poster is someone who knows me.

Which just validates my points.

Thanks!

mlhb

I can call 'em cant I!

yup, you're pretty quick there pariah.

i am enjoying my last day of posting under mlhb...

(using the crazy smile since I am told that is what I am.. might as well play the part!)

muahhhhhaaaahhhaaa

the last few days have been really strange for me. someone i have not thought even 2 seconds about in the last 6 months has been invading my brain non-stop now because i am angry and just in shock. like i told my friend, none of us never really knew him at all. then she was honest with me and said that she always had a strange feeling about him. she said he would stare at her when her and her husband went to the same church as they, that he would be flirtatious with her, and would send her text messages that she thought were completely inappropriate. she also said he would call her a lot wanting a play date for her child and his but only invite her to go and not her husband. she finally said she told her husband about it and showed him the texts and refused to do anything with him and his daughter unless her husband was there. her husband is the one who told me to let him go and find someone better because he could not be trusted. and it all made sense to me because he used to comment to me how he thought my friend was so attractive. made me very uncomfortable how he would do that. always say how attractive other women were to him. i think that is rude and disrespectful but again, i did not enforce my boundaries. i sure didn't sit there and tell him how hot i thought other guys were. i am sure it was hard for my friend to tell me those things but i am glad she did. they don't even associate with him anymore because they were so disgusted with is behaviors.

i just don't understand so much of this mess. or why he would do such things.

i keep saying i am going to leave and then keep changing my mind. i am so torn and indecisive which is a sign that i am really messed up over this situation. i am usually a very sure and confident person, but now i am not sure what to do. pare of me doesn't want anyone i know reading what i post and the other part of me is like "f em", if they so choose to continually check up on me than it serves them right for whatever they read. just like my stupid curiosity of wanting to see my exes and ow's myspace page that day, i chose to do it and got bit in the a** when i did. my bad for being stupid.

so, i guess if people really have nothing better to do than to check up on me, and have that morbid need to do it on a continual basis, then don't be too surprised that when the need arises, i may be venting about you. that would be your bad for coming to a place you know i use to vent.

after thinking a lot about it, i just don't want to go through the pain of having a new name and having everyone try and figure out who i am.

i am mlhb, always have been and always will be. i am a good person at heart, but i do get angry, hurt, frustrated, and completely p*ssed off at times. i have used this board to help others and to help myself. to vent, to share my successes and my failures, and to meet some really wonderful helpful people.

i just want this all to blow over.
i am here to stay, so, so be it.

life is too short for this crap.

to each and everyone,
to welcome friends and sicko invaders,
HAPPY READING!

I hear you, but will you really be able to post w/o censoring yourself? It'll be in the back of your mind that The Others could be reading, should you say this or that, or I'm gonna say this or that blah blah. Yuck w/ a capital Y.U.C.K.

Too much drama. Give yourself some time to cool off, go dark for a bit and eventually They will get bored and move on. Just my .02.

And I do have to say one thing Michelle....you keep saying this has been your anonymous place to post and vent, but you have not been anonymous. We all know your first and last name, where you live, what you look like etc b/c you've put that out here and linked the numerous blogs you have started. Not criticizing you, but you can't be surprised that people can find you easily and cyber stalk you.

I am sorry you feel violated. It's a terrible feeling.