Well I've been in Plan B for a little over six months and during that period I've been as dark as a black hole. It has served me well in that the insulation from the affair drama has allowed me to come to terms with everything. I feel much less sad and am slowly getting back to somewhere near normal.

I still think about her a lot but she no longer dominates my day. I miss the intimacy we had once. However now I don't think that there is anything she could say or do that would make me want her back. I can no longer see how I could forgive her for the harm she has done to me and my son.

I know that Harley's advice is to give it two years but I don't have the necessary resolve for that and have have asked my counsel to initiate divorce proceedings.

What are the best threads to read that might illustrate how I'm likely to feel and experience from here on?

What does Plan D look like?

Hmm. Best threads for going through divorce. I don't know. So many of us experience it differently.

You definitely have a different experience if you're the one who files, rather than on the receiving end. However, even then, you will be sad.

The good news is that after a Plan B separation, divorce is really a legal matter, although some people feel sad on the day it's final, some feel relieved and many others feel nothing in particular. It's like "Huh? That's it?"

The stumbling block is parenting. You still have to deal with your ex, and many of the conflicts will remain. The difference is you don't have to live with them any more. Good boundaries are essential for both parties. Sometimes a parenting class can help too.

My mother gave me some good advice. She said the reason my dad and she could be civil was because they let the lawyers fight it out. Neither of them took the settlement personally, or got personal with the other. Mom was in the same situation as you. Dad was having an affair, wouldn't stop, and she finally said enough is enough. 20 years later, they're not friends, but they're friendly.