Its Been awhile since I last put a post on here I want to thank those who have responded in the past you have been a lot of help with your advice <BR> To update you a little bit I have not seen or heard from the OW in sometime now So I guess you could say thats over I must admit I have mixed emotions about it being over and I will admit that I think about her often and that is as far as I let it go is a few fond memories and thoughts<BR> Now on to my W she still refuses to read anything connected to Marriage Builders I m not sure if it because she feel that she don t want to try to rebuild our marriage or she afraid that she might see herself in some of the articals that have been written I really don t know She still says she wants to get a divorce maybe she thinks that if she reads any of the stuff that has been written that it may put a crack in her shell that she feels she needs to follow thur with the divorce agin who knows <BR> I have come to the brink of sucide a couple of times now I have beat myself up several times over what I did I have begged and pleaded til I m blue in the face for her to try with me to save our marriage all to no avail I will no longer do any of these things If she wants a divorce so be it nothing more I can do about it but wait and see what happens I have quit calling her and I go out of my way not to see her all this does is upset me anyway I have decided to use some of what I learned about affairs to get over my W I am going through my withdrawals now and I am beginning to feel better everyday espically about myself I stll miss her and long to hear her voice but I fight it with everything I have in me I will no longer let her empty my bank nor will I let her bring me down anymore and make me feel like crap the tears have all dried and the crying has stopped I have declared my independence from all the hurt and pain I guess you could say I m using Marriage Builders in reverse for a lack of any other words Please don t get me wrong I am not closing the door to any and all commucations that she may want to have I m just going to beat myself up and I m not going to let her beat me down either<BR> I will still come here to read the post as i have come to look forward them again Thanks to everyone for all the help<BR>God Bless you all!!!!

I'm proud of you.<P>It is good to hear a story like yours. My wife is still betraying me with her OM and I hope and pray that someday she will come to your realizations. I will not be like your W... There will be people who will accept their spouses back no matter what. It has been a difficult time for you... as you finally found the <B>right</B> thing to do... and it's unfortunate that now you get rejected for it.<P>I'm praying for strength for you...<BR>I know there will be more hard days ahead for you...<BR>But by following the <B>right</B> way...<BR>You will have a peace of mind that will make your journey a hundred-fold lighter.<P>Jim

After reading your story and seeing where you are now, I admire your strength. We so often focus on the betrayed that we forget the betrayer has pain to work through as well. It is reassuring for me to see your point of view and realize that there is a reason to trust again and believe in the betrayer. And that at some point after taking responsibity for the pain you caused, you should be able to forgive yourself and refuse to be the betrayer forever. Good for you!

DDT,<P>WOW, You've been through the wringer, haven't you?<P>I am so sorry for the pain you've been going through, and that your W doesn't want to work at things as much as you do. <P>Do you REALLY feel that you're through the withdrawls from the OW? You sound a little sad about her still.<P>You are doing GREAT in many ways. You've made it this far, and that's saying something! I also felt like taking my life at one time. I carried so much guilt and pain that I just wanted to die. I honestly understand that. Things at my house are far from great, but my H is home and we are trying. I hope that your W can find it in her heart to forgive and try again.<P>Best wishes to you... and mega blessings too!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

New_Beginning I am over the withdrawals from the OW I am now working on my withdrawals from my W I can t and won t be beat up over this anymore what is done is done and theres nothing I can do change it I have told my family and even my son that I was sorry for all this pain I have brought to my family I Have to move on now For my sake as well as hers (Wifes) and yes I m a little sad over the OW not so much that I have lost a lover but that I lost a very Dear and Close friend over this <BR>and I guess the saddest part of this is that not only did I lose a very dear and close friend I have lost a family as well