I'm not grinning at you today..SIGH...

Your response is filled with "HE".."HE".."HE", Brown. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT "HE" SAYS..We have told you this a ZILLION TIMES...He's FOGGY and DOES NOT MAKE SENSE...


WE KNOW WHY!! THE ADDICTION!!..I've said this before to ya..HE WILL NOT KNOW WHY!! He doesn't care why..he just wants as much as he can get of the DRUG!!


NOT POSSIBLE..AS LONG AS THERE IS THE ADDCTION..THERE IS THE FOG...

What you are noticing is the positive effect of YOUR Plan A..but he remains ADDICTED...

Mimi - I got that - i was just giving a bit of background. Wondering whether there was anything else that i could be doing... that was all.
Today i went to the mall to pick up a few things n clear my head n i bumped into them - quickly did a u-turn to avoid them. It still hurts ... i don't know how to control that.

Do you work?

Does he work full time?

What do you do for money?

What do you do in a normal day?

Hi N2f

How r u? Are u feeling better now? Really good to hear from u, really warms the heart. As u predicted the reaction hasn't lasted long, today i saw him with her, n no call from him. This is when it is tough.

Mimi, do you think it's time for Brown to start working on her Plan B letter. It will give her something to do?

Hey Brown, I might be involved in my life a little more these days, but I am here reading.

Girl.... you should go to an AA or NA meeting and learn about addictions. I think you would understand better.

Yes I do work.
I had taken the day off.
He works too. OW works in the same office. They were supposedly working from home.
Normal day would be work all day.

You should EXPOSE this to her boss.

Hi Q,
I have been reading your threads off n on as well. I just haven't been able to say much, but always thinking of u.
How was the graduation. I remember mine - my H missed that as well. My mom was alive then, n she was so happy. The only graduation either of my parents were able to attend.

Re: AA meeting - i do wonder, i do think that i am addicted to him. It's weird i always tried to stay off addictive stuff, didn't drink, smoke, didn't even drink tea/coffee, given up chocolates but i guess something had to give.
So I guess his addiction must b pretty strong too.

Well, i am not 100% sure that she was meant to b working or had taken the day off.
In any case i don't know who her boss is.
Plus in the UK, as long as u get ur work done on time they don't care if u mess around n then work all night to get ur work done

So you are saying INFIDELIY is OK in the UK? Are you sure she wouldn't at least be ASHAMED for her boss to know? I thought you said that she works as the same place as your husband. Can't you find out who her boss is?

I went n found out her boss, told him the scenario n they couldn't care less.
His company is weird. He was telling me about the guy who had 3 affairs and 4 marriages. They are just plain mad!
I am so annoyed!! No morals in this world.
My company would have been more upset with this.
Father's day this weekend... it makes me sad, I miss the baby we lost. I got him a father's day card last year, would it still be right to give him one this year?

Hi browneyes,

I am really sorry you didn't get more support from her boss.

I guess it shouldn't surprise me, it just blows my mind that there are more ramifications for not paying your debts, shop lifting, writing bad checks, or traffic violations in socity then there is for having an affair.

I know it is frankly ridiculous. It was quite upsetting.

But I commend YOU for STANDING UP for what is RIGHT, SPEAKING UP against their WRONGNESS or, better said, EVILNESS!!

Thank you Mimi. Last two days have been particularly difficult. Everyone keeps on telling me I should push the divorce. My friends keep on saying that I should not even think about accepting him back. No one seems to understand that I love him and i want my marriage to work. I am almost made to feel bad for wanting my marriage and then having OW's boss knock me, i have felt awful.

brown,

What's the definition of insanity? Doing what we have always done and expecting something different.

Maybe Q's on to something about going to an AA meeting. This might give you something to really dig deeper inside yourself as to why you "might" be "addicted" to this man and the thought of recovery.

It won't hurt for you to be getting stronger if the day truly does come that he returns. You need some real core strengthening exercises for whether that comes to fruition or not. Why? Because if he does come back, you still have to go through the withdrawal stage, your own fear of him repeating or still making contact, etc. etc. etc.

If he doesn't come back, you have just invested in yourself!!!

(((lots of hugs)))

Thank you OnlyUCan. Today is proving difficult. My sis has stopped talking to me, in case i am a bad influence on her kids as I chose the 'wrong' man.
My SIL is making comments on how my sis is ignoring me.
I don't need this right now

Is this due to a CULTURAL BELIEF?

From MY UNDERSTANDING and BELIEF SYSTEM, how can she hold YOU responsible for what your husband has chosen to do. That's ridiculous. You have no control over him. You are not that powerful. It is sad that she is giving her daughter the message that she can control this. Is she trying to instill the value of parents making the choice?


What's she saying? Hopefully, she's commenting on your S's STUPIDITY!


Of course you don't. IGNORE HER JUST LIKE SHE'S IGNORING YOU!! IGNORE HER STRONGER AND HARDER !

Make a decision that YOU don't want to talk to someone like her anyways!! Your job is to LOVE YOURSELF and to take care of yourself. Talking to her does not help you with this TASK.


FIGHT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!!

Brown:

I've been telling you.

You've got to continue to work on your MENTAL TOUGHNESS!!

I'm proud of you!!

It took a lot of GUTS to go and talk to the OW'S BOSS!!

You're THE WINNER for doing that!!

(((((Brown)))))

Hang in there honey....

I know this one sucks and hurts. Mimi is right about this sis, ignore her. She WILL come to her senses. And know you did not choose the wrong man. Such silliness. And no you are not responsible for his decisions. and your "choosing" to stay in your M and work it out???? Personally, I cannot think of a better influence to have on kids. What are you teaching them????? Forgiveness, compassion, the importance of keeping a vow.......


My guess is that your sister is doing this because she doesn't agree with what you are doing and she is hurting for you.......she hates to see the pain he is causing you. Its alot for the family to go through. And since she cannot take it out on him, she is punishing you. Except by doing this, she will be also punishing herself. (are you two close???)


This is my guess only because I have had the same issues with my sis in all of this.....but then we are super close and cannot stand not talking too long....the bonds that hold us together are stronger than that.....

But yes, it sucks because you do not need this right now. .....

so get out there and do something FUN today......

Hang in there....you are becoming such a strong woman through all of this and are doing so much better.....for that you can stand up and take a bow......


not2fun