Three weeks ago I was sitting here and my wifes phone beeped. I checked it and it was a text message. It said..."I called where were you?".
When she left to go to meet a client I pulled all my old cell records and saw this same number appeared on the last 3 phone bills. Alot of 1 minute phone calls with no conversation. But I noticed her text messages had trippled.
I downloaded a keylogger to get a password and went into her Email from our lending office. There I find a email to this same person that was very flirty.
I confronted her.
She tells me its a man she met while in continuing education and that she had been trying to get some buisness from him.
I didnt let it go and was very angry and threatened to leave.We have had alot of long emotional talks since then.
This is her story.
When they met he had told one of her friends that he thought she was pretty and hot. The friend told her and she was flattered. She has been going through a 41 year old thing worried about her wrinkles and weight ETC.(she quite attractive)
I wasnt filling her emotional needs or being a very good husband.
Thats my fault.
The text messages were all flirt according to her with some of them going as far as him asking what color panties she had on. She said she looked at this as a high when another man was telling her she was attractive and sexy. That it filled a need that I wasnt.That it was almost not real and a fantasy world as the texts werent face to face. She has cried and shuddered in my arms telling me how stupid she feels for letting something like this jeapordize our life and our family.
She says the text messages were the bulk of contact with him and there was never an emotional bond or much conversation between them. Just the text messages that were filling her needs. The OM lives 70 miles away. I know her schedule and can find no loop holes where they could have been having a PA.
Still Im upset.My taker says screw her and move on, my giver knows I love her.
She now agrees to really set a game plan to work on our M and shes reading MB. I tried to get her to do this years ago. She has been working hard at answering my questions about this and being honest.I see the pain and feel her remorse. She sent a no contact letter and resigned from her inter office status to be at home. We are really moving in a good direction!
I still feel betrayed and hurt. Im not sure if I can even clasify this as a EA.
How can text messages be that fulfilling?????????

It was an EA

Though it looks good that it was caught soon enough that withdrawals will not be that long for your WW. Also that WW sent the NC letter. Also that she is on board with MB.

"he had told one of her friends that he thought she was pretty and hot. The friend told her and she was flattered." I would watch that "friend" she is a potential enabler.

"She tells me its a man she met while in continuing education and that she had been trying to get some buisness from him"

That was bull slop. Just an excuse for her continuing contact.
WW loved the attention the EA brought.

"I know her schedule and can find no loop holes where they could have been having a PA." How about lunch. WW would use the excuse she had to leave the office for a meeting. Your WW did not have to go to him. 70 mile on an interstate can be easily done in 60 minutes. I know of no guy that would not drive 60 minutes for SF with a hot looking woman. Living 70 miles away does not exclude the ability of his work to bring OM much closer, or the nature of his job that he can disappear from time to time.

"resigned from her inter office status" This statement is confusing. Did she work with OM? OM client of her company?

Did your WW send OM IM's? I believe there are ways to recover them.

She works out of a real estate and lending office as well as home office. She is no longer going into the lending office as he was a potential client.
Yes I supose lunch and a few other mid day rendevous would have been possible. No ims that I can find. She did admit to seeing him one time here in Columbia for a few minutes she says.

Time will tell, if she remains on course with the plan, or not.

If she does, it sounds as this is not going to be any major obstacle which will present huge challenges to your marriage or life. You are hurt, and that is understandable - and it seems that she "gets it"....just how much she hurt you by these selfish actions.

I think that classifying this as an EA is correct. You should evaluate in your own mind how she can make restitution to you.