Hi Queenie,,, and everyone!

There has been a disturbance in the Force this week. Up to yesterday, I have been doing really well with the "All Negative Things in the Universe are Bugs Fault" reality that Drac resides in.

I'll try to keep it short. I had problems with DSS over this weekend that I had to share with Drac. Prior to my emailing him about those issues, he attacked me about a yardsale in which I sold some records that were "his" that were "the only things he had gotten when his grandmother passed away".

These precious records were in a bin that he'd told me several years ago to give away because he did not want them. Then they sat outside on the porch for months until I brought them in the house to keep them from being ruined. His email, which was based on his bi-weekly interrogation of DSS after he his with me included wonderful things like "you are not teaching our children what is right" and "you have stooped so low". It was veiled in "the kids are very upset about you selling my things"

I did not respond to that email, as it stated he "wanted nothing" from me. I instead got to the business at hand about DSS. We exchanged a couple of decent emails in which I find out that there are NUMEROUS issues with DSS that have been going on for some time,,,,,,,,,but that he had never shared with me.

DSS was in terror over what he anticipated Drac's response to be about the weekend events, so I called DSS to reassure him AND I also talked to him about the yardsale issue, as the information of Drac's email had come from him. I explained to him that he needs to have all of the facts. The records that were Drac's grandmother's were taken out and never included in the yardsale. I had every intention of giving them to him. But, I was already condemned. Poor kid,,, I felt bad. Yet he needs to understand that although I have been very explicit in the fact that we have no secrets at my house, that he doesn't always know everything and that if he was concerned about the records he should have talked to me first.

So,,,,,,,,,,,,skipping a lot of detail here, I asked Drac yesterday how his talk with DSS went. Drac had said he was going to seek professional help for DSS. He's been having a lot of issues with him.

Let me note here that the 'issues' he is having are really nothing new. The difference is that DRAC is now having to deal with them instead of me.

Drac's reply was one or two sentences. I asked for more detail and received a "lecture" in return. This one included how I had supposedly kept DSS's Christmas ornaments and refused to give them to him,,only letting him put them on the tree at my house. Plus then Drac went on how I won't communicate on anything other than what *I* want to communicate about. He even pointed out that I only have DSS 4 days a month while HE has to deal with all of this every day! YIKES!!

Bottom line is that he stated he will not "rehash" everything about DSS in email.

My reply was, "if you chose not to share that is your choice".

That did not suit, so he had to reply that it is "because of the situation that *I* created" that he won't share. That we should put aside our 'personal differences' long enough to help the kids. Oh, and I should merely be happy with knowing that DSS is going to get professional help. And lastly he complained about how I totally ignored his email about the records, as well as all of the other issues he'd raised.

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. I love how I am to blame for everything!!

So, I sent one last reply in which I told him that email works for me. It doesn't work for him. It is what it is. I prefer email not because of him or any 'personal differences', but for my own personal reasons that obviously are of no concern to him.

I told him that I wasn't ignoring the things he'd brought up. In fact, I'd thought about them a great deal. However, I will not engage in non-stop self defense. It matters not what I say about any of it, so why comment one way or another?

I told him that I am at a place in my life where constant conflict produces nothing but negative, so I just dont' do it.

I want to be involved in DSS's live so that I can give him the best love and support possible. That's all

I haven't gotten any reply. And, after having the records delivered to him today, still no response.

I'm not surprised.

I will admit to giving in to the disturbance in the Force that first day. For the first time in a long time, it ruined my day. I accomplished nothing. It pissed me off that I allowed him to disturb my peace like that.

I called my pastor and talked to him for about an hour about things and felt better later. I felt better after my last email - - I was glad that I was able to respond in a self focused rather than accusatory or reactionary mode.

So,,,,,,,,,,,,there's more but it's not worth the detail right now. I haven't slept much and am exhasted.

Think I'll treat myself to a bath and bed. I'll give a better 'real life' update later!

Do you think it's the OLD PATTERN of needing to have YOU as a topic of conversation with the HO?


Me, too..but you are such a YOUNGSTER...

Bugsy, stay away from him...HE'S POISON...

BUGS!

How you doing!

Please stop this global warming thing! We've had enough fun with it.


How about this:

Drac:

There are no longer any "personal differences"

We are divorced. I fought to save our marriage every step of the way. Until it was done.

You found a replacement and decided to remove me from your "future" family.

You are correct. I have DSS 4 days a month. He is your son and you have pointed out on numerous occasions that he is your responsibility. My 4 days a month is not enough to influence your son nor provide the relationship that I used to have with him.

This is your responsibility now. This isn't about "personal differences" You have divorced me. It's even to much effort for you to explain to me what his "issues" are and HOW you would like me to help you with DSS.

This isn't about doing it "my way" You can't seem to even to articulate "your way" so we could follow that path.

Sorry, Drac. Your here from your choices.

Bugsy.

You would love to send that. And you should. Just start Reverse Babbling him. Let him own it.

LG

Hey bugs,

Good to see you back.

I'm in the same boat as you, although D is not final yet. It's pretty frustrating when they blame you for everything. I'm still trying to work through that. My WH is even more hostile than yours. I forced the sale of the house, so it totally threw his arrangement off track. He no longer had me at home to take care of everything while he travelled with OP. I wonder if they really believe it or if it's just a cover up for what they've done.

You are doing great and I'm getting there too. His hostility towards me is becoming such a big LB that I may soon be in Believer's court and not want him back. Look's like we both have a blockhead WH.

Keep posting because it's good for those of us walking behind you. You are our strength...

Its so so so good to hear from you!

I really like LG's letter. If I were you I'd send it then go darker.

DSS is a casualty of his father's choices. I just don't think he is going to allow you to be DSS's mother in the way you were.
I think you need to carve out a new relationship with DSS -- one that Drac can't interfere with.

Drac is an angry man. And he desperatly wants to blame his constant state of unhappiness on you. You have to remove yourself as his target. As long as he can direct his anger at you and blame you -- he won't examine himself. He is headed for a major depression....when he realizes he has to blame himself not only for his own unhappiness but also DSS's. Get out of his way!

All a product of his choices.

I would hand his [censored] back to him on a silver platter, a la LG style. At a certain point, you must take a stand against his abusive behavior. There is a boundary to be drawn here. Sticks and stones, sure, but his words can hurt, and can muck up your serenity. Just how it is.

Just the facts is where I am with PWC now. I don't care what his struggle is, 'cause it's his, and there is nothing I can or will do to help, just as my struggle is mine. It's pointless banter. Just the facts, please, with a clear plan of attack.

Just my opinion. I would hand his problems back to him.

I liked LG's letter and agree with Lexxy. He's very angry and looking for someone to blame. Stay clear.

(((Bugs)))

Thanks everyone for your replies,,,,,,,,,,,you are ALL right on target as far as I can tell.

Drac is a very angry man and has been that way for a while from what I have heard. I don't know if he's really headed for depression, because as you said Lexx, that would mean that he's having to look at himself and I have serious doubts if he's at that point. Will he ever get there? Who knows?

I LOVED the letter, LG! I'm not sending, though, as the 'incident' has passed. I'll just wait for the next one. We ALL know there will most certainly BE a next one.

Let me take this opportunity to apologize to all the folks in the Midwest for all of the recent rain & storms! You all know it's all my fault!

Friday night Baby Bugs had softball practice. It's Drac's weekend, but he couldn't take her. DSS had a dentist appt that conflicted (he only had that appt because Drac MISSED the last one). Both appts, the office called ME with the appointment reminder, which I passed along to Drac.

So,,,,,,,,, I took her to practice. Drac showed up with 30 minutes to go. I was on the field with her helping out,,,throwing fly balls to her. He eventually came out and helped the coach with some batting drills with the other girls. I walked up to him & DSS when they got there and asked DSS about his dentist appt. I totally ignored Drac. After I asked DSS, Drac told him to go to the car and get the 'report' from the dentist and show me.

Anyway,,,,,,,,,I helped out and when not helping, I chatted with the other parents. Drac was on his own, looking like the outsider. I absolutely LOVED when her coach went on & on about how GREAT her glove is. Drac had bought her a glove, but did not tell me, so when it was time for her first practice, I took her the night before and bought a REAL glove. I played ball & having the right glove was very important to me and I wanted her to have the best to start with.

Drac was standing right there when the coach was telling another parent that THIS was the perfect glove to buy. Baby Bugs then turns to me and says, "Yeah, the glove Daddy bought isn't as good as this one.". Right in front of him!

I know it is probably EVIL and PETTY of me, but I will freely admit that it made me feel good. He's always been the "one upsman" kind of guy. Of course, I am sure that my having bought such a nice glove was only because of the child support he pays and that I did it for horrible reasons! Whatever!!

The truth is he has not paid one PENNY for any of her dance, gymnastics, or even the 1/2 of the softball he said he'd pay. I quit even bringing any of it up because it turned into the typical lecture of what I've done wrong.

He's was supposed to get her a batting helmet for 3 weeks. Not seen one yet. This weekend he's supposed to get her shorts and socks,,,,,,,,,,,,I am hoping that I'm not running to the store on Monday before her game to get them.

Other than all of that crapola, I've been doing better since earlier in the week. Today my sister & I took Mom to see Jersey Boys,,,the musical. It was great and Mom LOVED it! She never gets to do that kind of thing, so it was very special.

Well, think I'm going for the candlight bubble bath & glass of wine. I need to get the sound of the HO's voice in the background of Baby Bugs call tonight outta my head.

Thanks again guys! You always help me step back & take another look at things, and I really appreciate it!

Bugs,

The last few posts have really shown me how similar out WH's are.

I applaud you now more than ever and am so proud of yourself restraint.

Since you are getting blamed for the weather in the midwest, how about a little more sunshine my way so I can blame you as well.

Enjoy that bath girl, you deserve it.

It's been a really long time since my kids played organized sports.....however...the headlouse lives...please get her a helmet before you have a funky hair crisi!!! I learned the hard way that "thou shalt not share head gear from any sport"!! GF

GF,,,,all I can say to that is EWWWW!

Well, the first game was last night and I am so PROUD of Baby Bugs! They are on a 'coached' pitched team, but have girls in positions for pitcher and catcher. Baby Bugs was the first inning catcher (they switch every inning). I was a catcher when I played ball, so I helped her gear up and went out to help her into position & ended up being back up/gear coach for the entire game.

Baby Bugs did NOT want to catch, but she put in good effort despite her displeasure. At 7yrs old, that's pretty good. She got one hit in the game, too! She just needs some confidence & she's going to be great. I think this is really HER sport.

Drac didn't come. I am so angry for Baby Bugs, ,but have let it go. DSS came in Sunday when Drac brought DD home and asked me if I could pick him up to go to DD's ball game. I said sure, but why isn't Drac bringing you?

Get this,,, he had a charity GOLF TOURNAMENT. Now, guys, I know how your golf can be really important, but let's consider some facts.

#1. Drac doesn't golf #2. It was a charity thing that he could have backed out of #3. The actual PLAY of golf was over well before DD's game time #4. The HO was home when I picked up DSS (before 5pm and she stood looking out the door at an angle trying to get a look at me!) #5. When I took DSS home, Drac's car was there, but the HO's wasn't. No One was home. I am pretty sure he came home after playing, picked up the HO for the dinner,,,,,,,,,,,,,but LIED to his kids about it all.

What a shame. It's yet another Single Special Moment in time that he will never get back.

I had a ball!! I'm going to be the coach at the plate again at tomorrow's game.

Unfortunately, today I was searching for an old email and came across exchanges from this time last year. Emails of the loss of my nephew, Drac's continued lies, and then the ultimate of his being angry with me for "costing him his relationship with the HO". That was a CLASSIC.

I do much better with seeing that stuff and not getting into a total meltdown. I feel sad, it twinges, it hurts, but it no longer consumes me. So, progress.

I heard a program about forgiveness today,,,,,,,that is mulling around in my head. When I'm able to put some description to it, I'll share. It's got me thinking a lot of stuff.

Oh, have heard nothing more about DSS getting into counseling. Drac did email with summer daycare info for Baby Bugs this summer,,,,,,,,,he actually had the balls to call my sister and ask her to be an emergency contact if neither of us is available!! She traded vm messages with him and of course said Yes. She'd do anything for the kids. Wonder if he realized that it would not be right to make the HO the contact or if she refused to do it???

So, what does everyone have planned for the holiday weekend?

Gotta run, , Baby Bugs is at a friend's house & I need to pick her up.

I am teaching my son to bat and play catch right now. He's pretty good. When he does hit the ball, it's solid and you can tell he KNOWS that he's got it. His throwing needs some work, but he's pretty accurate and throws pretty hard. He's pretty good with a spiral now and then on the football, too. It's nice to get out there with him and play. I'm going to enroll him in the coach pitch fall camp, to see how he likes it, and then hopefully put him in the coach pitch league next spring.

Sounds like you are doing well, Bugsy. Hugs to you and yours.

Hey Bugs, sounds like you are doing well.

Glad to hear from some of my fellow MB warriors who were in the thick of battle along side of me.

Guess I need to update my own thread.

Hugs for Bugs.

Oh, and you are doing Mah-ve-lous!

Hey Bugs,

Checking in to see how you are doing and what's happening in your next of life.

{{{{{Bugs}}}}}}

Hey Queenie!

I was just thinking I needed to do an update. I just got out of the shower after working outside most of the day,,,,getting the pool open (finally), and doing yard work. It's HOT here today!

Well, let's see what's new?

Really life has been pretty good. I made it though having Drac at at couple of DD's ball games. I let go of the fact that he 'used' me as a sitter for DSS so he and the HO could go to a dinner. That's a trick I won't fall for again in the future.

I made it through DD's dance recital with him being there, too. I think I did well. I did actually have to 'speak' to him a couple of times, but I did it in a manner that said "You are nothing to me". The usual butterflies I've felt when having to see him were more like knats this time around, so that's an improvement.

One BAAAD thing that I am still struggling with - - This was to be my weekend w/both kids. DSS's birthday is Sunday. Drac emailed earlier this week saying that "We are having family over for DSS's birthday Sunday. He needs to be home at 10am. I would hope that you will allow DD to come. I will have her home at 7 or 8 pm'.

That message didn't really bother me. I simply replied that we get out of church around 10:30 and I'd bring them over then.

Well, Thurs. at dance recital DSS told my mom that he wouldn't be with me this weekend???? I didn't find out until after we had left the recital. So, yesterday I operated as normal with the plan to pick up DSS and take him home early on Sunday. It's not unusual that Drac doesn't keep DSS in the loop with his plans.

DSS is still in school until next week. I dropped my phone in the pool (yeah swift move, I know!), so I needed to pick up a replacement. I first picked up DD from daycare and went by the phone store. While there, DSS left a vm that I picked up when we left. He said he thought he was staying there for the weekend.

I called him right away. He said "I thought I was staying here for the whole weekend". I replied, "And??? DD and I are on our way to get you."

He replied, "Well I thought I was staying here".

I told him "It's our weekend to be together. Are you telling me you don't want to come?"

Bottom line is that he wouldn't come out and say he didn't want to come, but only that he was staying there.


My HEART TOTALLY BROKE (again).

I told him that I was very dissappointed that I wouldn't be seeing him and that I'd call him on his birthday. I tried very hard not to, but I broke down crying. DD was very sweet,,,,,,,,,she was upset because I was upset.

At first, it felt like I was being left all over again. I took the time and allowed myself a bit of a pity party. Then, I bucked it up and realized that this isn't about ME.

Who knows what's happening over there,,,,,,,,,,or what's happening betweeen him & Drac,,,,,,,,,,and he's a teenage boy so who knows what's happening.

I know he loves me. He knows I love him. I'll be here when he wants to be here. That's all I can do. YES, it totally hurts, but that's part of being a Mom sometimes.

I was further hurt when I found out that Drac left him alone last night. I sent TM asking Drac to confirm that he know DSS was staying there (just in case he 'assumed' I had picked him up and didn't go home to know that DSS was still there). He sent tm back saying "Yes, DSS told me last night he wasn't going over. I told him to call you."

OUCH!! Guess he just had to put in that dig that it was DSS's decision not to come over. Was it really necessary to hurt me like that?

Then, turns out Drac called his dad yesterday to have him come get DSS for today, maybe for tonight?? I thought he was staying with DRAC. Well, we can't have Drac and the HO giving up any of their weekend plans now can we???

I do know that some of Drac's family is coming up for DSS's bday party tomorrow. I'm glad for DSS. I was told by some of them that they are only doing it for DSS, even though they do not approve of what Drac has done and what he continues to do. I replied, "Hey, Drac is your family. You should be there.".

I am sure I'll get some great reports about the HO later. I don't want to know to tell you the truth. That's their life, not mine. A lot of this is about Drac 'showing off' his big new house & his cool new woman for everyone. He doesn't understand that they could not care less about either of those things & they think he's an a-hole. But, family is family. Let them worry about it.

I'm really pleased that I'm not wondering/thinking much about what's going on over there. It's hard sometimes.

Oh,,,,,,,, I almost forgot. I found out that Drac is pushing hard to get one of the other females from his former work (where he met the HO), hired at our place of employment! I think he may have even had something going on with her at one time,,,,,,,,,. I hope they do hire her. First, she won't make it in the job and that won't look good on Drac AND I have a feeling it will not make the HO happy to have those 2 spending a lot of time together.

Due to having my phone out of commission, I used my Blackberry to call DSS and TM Drac this last week. TWICE I've gotten calls on it from this area that were a female saying she had the wrong number. The Blackberry has an Area Code from a totally different city/area, so it's not likely that anyone would be calling it from this area. I think the HO is checking up on Drac. I didn't think much of it the first time it happened, but the second time made me wonder,,,,,,,,,,and then it made me LAUGH~

So, DD is at a friend's house for a couple of hours. I am going to finish landry and clean house. May take DD out for dinner tonight. I'd planned to let DSS pick somewhere for his B-day - - guess we'll just do it another time.

Thanks for checking on me Queenie! Your thread sounds like you are doing really well yourself! Good for you!!!

Hi everyone else that popped by!! EPH - -great to hear from you!!

YES it IS.....

But in taking care of ourself, it's best to stay out of more sickness and disease.

I can only imagine how hard the DSS sitch is for you. I am so blessed in that my kids are with me and I know what's going on with them pretty much for the most part. I believe YS is in contact with WH, but I have no clue. He doesn't talk about him and I only ask every so often now. In fact we hardly talk about WH anymore and I quickly change the subject.


Isn't it amazing, how we give them what they wanted, their freedom to live their life and yet they have this desire to mess up our any chance they get in their own ways. What is UP with that? Unfortunately we think in level headed terms, they are monsters thinking through diseased filters. Maybe one day for them...

You are doing amazing, your growth is awesome and I love hearing about your life.

Please keep in touch.

Bugs,

I'll say it again - you are an inspiration to all of us following in your footsteps. Thanks for keeping us updated. It helps to see that there is life after an A.

Since I've bombed several other threads, I figured it was time to bomb my own with an update.

Nothing earth shattering to report.

I did get an unsolicited update on the DSS b-day party at the HoHouse from Drac's family. Seems family started arriving at the house and the Ho was out at the store. Hmmmm, that's great party planning. The HO-stess isn't even there when the guests arrive.

Did I mention before that HIS family called ME for directions when they were lost on the way to the party? YEP. For Real. Seems his directions got them all lost, and they did not have HIS phone number to call him. Then HE got mad when he found out about it. I wonder - how do you think that has been turned into being MY fault, because you all know Everything that makes him the least bit unhappy or which may make him look bad in any way IS my fault.

After walking through the un-mowed lawn, into the house and "barely being able to walk through the family room because of the mess", Drac took them on a tour of the house. They were upstairs looking all the "disaster" bedrooms when the HO-stess returns and yells up the stairs "Don't take them up there, I haven't had time to clean?" Drac simply replies, "Yes dear" without letting her know that the damage was done.

Now, I don't know about you all, but I was raised that if you are having company,,,,,,,,,,,,,and it's the first time you are meeting most of them,,,,,,,,,,,,and they've never been to your house before,,,,,,,,,,,,,you stay up all night if necessary to have your house CLEAN and the party READY when they arrive.

Hmmm - Well it's probably one of those "boring, old fashioned" things about me that Drac came to hate and that obviously isn't important. They were probably too busy with DSS doing fun things the day/night before the party. OOPs,,,,,,that can't be right. Drac had FIL pick up DSS on Saturday afternoon and bring him back on Sunday for the party.

One of Drac's Aunt's is the sweetest lady. She LOVES all kids. I don't think she's ever met a child she didn't like - - until now. She does not like, does not trust, and did not have anything nice to say about the Ho's son. I about fell off my chair when I heard that. I don't know the details of what happened & didn't ask.

Summary - His house is nice, but none of them would live there & it was a mess. The Ho tried to be nice, but no one really cares for her. The Ho's son is nothing but trouble. The HoHouse is not going to be a lasting situation. They are all glad they went for the sake of DSS AND so that they can now all come to my house next month for a party. They all know Drac won't like it and they don't care. I'm sure I'll be cussed up one side and down the other for having them over.

All has been quiet on the Drac front lately. They haven't had to create anything new to blame me for lately, so either things are fabulous or really bad. Either way, I'm glad I'm safe on the dark side of Pluto with Chrisner.

We had a great weekend. We took DSS out for this birthday dinner Friday night and had a blast! It really was a lot of fun. Sat. the kids helped clean up the house while I finished up cleaning the pool. We were in the pool all afternoon & then had a quiet evening watching tv and chilling out. Sunday was church and then back in the pool. We had neighbor kids over both days & were invited to neighbors Sun. for dinner before having to take them to Drac's house. It was really nice.

I told DD to go change to go to Daddy's. She asked what she should wear. I told her to pick out what she wanted. She replied, "Really?" I said, "Yes, really. Can't you pick out something? You do it all of the time." She replied, "Well Daddy won't let me do that when I come home. He is really picky about what I wear here. I can't wear what HE buys when I come here."

I simply said, "well, honey, those are YOUR clothes. You can wear what you want" It wasn't necessary to say anything more. She sees it for what it is.

On the ride over to Drac's, she & DSS were talking about silly fantasy stuff. Like how to set a trap and punish people that do bad things. DD says, "Well I wish I had one of those. I'd use it on Ho's son". Yikes! I am already paying special attention here (Lord knows that Drac isn't). I try not to ask her a bunch of questions, but I am concerned about their interaction. Especially since DD told my mom that he sometimes sleeps in the lower bunk in her room "because he gets lonely." I don't like the idea of a boy who is not related to her sleeping in her room. I don't like it at all. I've checked into my options, and the best I can do is keep the communication open with her so that I know what's going on (or should I say NOT going on) and pray.

I wrote all of the above yesterday morning, but didn't have time to post it - - so I'll update from here about the rest of yesterday.

DD is at Drac's this week. She had a ballgame last night. Drac emails 15 minutes before game time that they are 'running late, on the way.'. It takes 20 minutes tops from his house - they got there an hour later. DD only got to play 1/2 inning. She told me that the highway they were on was "shut down".

Now I can understand if a traffic problem happened, but it should have never been an issue. If he'd been on time, it wouldn't have been one. Well, life is about priorities and we all know where Drac's are. It just frustrates me because of an earlier email from him in which he said, ,

"I've been working all day planning to get out early to take DD to her game early for pictures. I checked my calendar and I have down that pictures are on Monday. Is that what you have?
If that is the case, I can't be there I have 'X' at work that I can not miss"

WTF? What was the purpose of that? To really ask about the picture date OR to let me know WHY he won't be at her game next Mon? The 'x' reason for missing the game could be construed as "important" or somewhat 'impressive'. Like I am supposed to give a flying 'f' about what he's doing??

Later he also sent email asking to have the kids my next Sunday. His family does an annual trip to the rural/family cemetary and it's on my day. I already knew about it. His family had already invited me. Last year it was my day with the kids and I took them. HE refused to go because *I* was there.

I'll let him have them for the day. I think it's important to have them involved in family traditions. HOWEVER, I really, really want to ask how this is any different than last year when he didn't let DD come to my nephew's memorial service???!!! But, it would accomplish nothing to bring that up. I haven't responded yet to the email. Still pondering what I'll say.

Gotta run! Busy work day!

Oh,,,,,,,thanks for the kind words all. I don't feel like someone to be 'admired', I feel like just another BS doing the best she can! Thank God for the help He gives me!!

Hey Bugs,

Sounds like the Ho-House is a healthy place. Hose the kids down before you let them back in your place. lol

That's great that you have a good relationship with his family. Use it to your advantage. My brother D'd my XSIL and M his AP. Of course, we were all told that she was not an AP but we knew better. Anyway, we all loved my XSIL. She was like a sister to me since my brother was so much older and they M when I was 10. I basically grew up with her. Practically lived at their house through my teens. I was about 38 when they D'd and my parents and I were crushed. My bro ended up M to the AP who we all hated. My parents tried to be nice to her, and so did I, but she was just a B. Through the years, we continued to stay in touch with my XSIL. She loved my parents and they loved her like their own child, but it used to make my bro so angry. He would say that he wished she would stay away from his family because he didn't bother hers, she was no longer in the family blah blah blah. After his AP left him for someone else, I realized that it caused a huge problem in the M. AP was always jealous that XSIL was preferred over her. HA! Had I thought about it then, I would have done all I could to make her feel like the outsider. I just didn't have the perspective on infidelity that I have now. It was hard for my parents though, because they didn't want to lose my bro over it. They were really torn when he got ticked. So...keep those relationships strong. It does cause friction in the Ho-House.

Not sure how old Ho's son is, but that is a scary sitch for your precious D. Seems that you could do something about them sleeping in the same room. Can't even believe that Drac would allow it to happen.

Keep posting. Whether you know it or not, you are a big help to me who is following closely behind you.

Hey Chai!

Thanks for the input on the Ex-laws. They really have been very nice to me through this whole thing. They are just now finding out more of the truth of what happened, which has only made them more firm in their thinking.

It's funny that one of Drac's Aunt's called me today by mistake, but ended up talking to me for 45 minutes. She's going to send me pics of DSS from his bday party. She said that "that BROAD" isn't in any of them. I told her if she had one with her in it to send it so I could finally see what she looks like! Plus, she then gave me an entire new low down on how it all went.

Nothing much different than what I'd already heard, but there were a few bonus things she told me. In fact, I came here this evening to vent because one of the things has made me soo mad!!

First for the good/funny part. Apparently the HO asked her if they found the place ok. She told the HO, "No, as a matter of fact, we got lost 2x. It was too early to call my daughter because she has a late sleep schedule, so we called BUGS!" The Ho's back was turned to her when she said it, but she is sure that it didn't sit well at all.


From her description of guess it's true, that Drac is made of money - everything they have in that house is all brand new. New furniture, new outside furniture, new bedroom, new woman, new kid, new family. Must be sweeet! Well, perhaps except for the big ol pile of DEBT that goes along with it all.

The aunt later was in the family room with/Drac where they have some big game table (that the Ho bought recently for DSS - -Xmas I guess). Well, the room isn't big enough, so his aunt says, "Well why don't you call Bugs and ask her if she has room for it at her house?"

THAT didn't sit well at all. His reply was, "NO, we don't do that".

He then proceeds with telling her this story as way of explaination (i.e. Blaming Bugs)

It's the story Drac is telling about DSS not wanting to see me the weekend of his birthday. The story is that DSS was MAD at me because of a conversation I had with him (DSS) and I had asked him what he wanted for his birthday. He told me he wanted a game for the game system they have at Drac's house. The story goes that my reply was that if I bought that game, "it would have to stay at my house.". Drac went on how that makes NO sense because I only have DSS 4 days a month, so "that wouldn't be much of a birthday present now would it?" (he's really big on pushing this thing about how I only have him 4 days a month, as if that makes my relationship with DSS somehow 'less')

WTF??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UGH! I am so D@MN mad! That is so totally NOT what I said! My reply was, "Is there anything else you might want? I want to buy something that you can use over here, too. I don't have that game system here."

DRAC is the one that makes the kids keep the households separate, including the kids personal items, not me. It just infuriates me that this bullshite continues with his totally lying his A$$ off to people about me!! Why have there been weekends where DSS has nothing to wear? Because he's taken all of the clothes *I* bought him over to the HoHouse. Most of the x-mas presents I bought him are at the HoHouse, including the VIDEO GAME I bought for him!!! It is unbelieveable how he continues to not only SPIN this Cr@p out there, but I am sure he TOTALLY believes it all himself!

THIS is why darker is better! It prevents the feeling of being infuriated. It prevents the ALMOST uncontrollable urge to DEFEND myself yet again. I KNOW that it would do no good to bother but D@MN!!

Where's a shovel when I really, really need one??? Oh, I remember, I am sure I had to leave the shovel because that's DRAC's. Can I borrow one????

This time I'm mad enough to not only whack him in the head with it, but I really, really want to proceed to the part where I use the shovel to dig the hole and bury him once and for all!

Ok, WOW! That feels much better! Sorry for the rant, but I just had to get it out.

Time for a nice glass of wine. While drinking it, I'll be cooking up the next Evil Plan for which I can be blamed!