I just wish you would keep your responses brief with her- like yes or no. Any point in reasoning with her is ridiculous, because you know you cannot get her to see it your way unfortunately. And the kiddos pay the price.

On the woman front. I would definitely say she likes you as more than a friend. I say that because I wouldn't sit and be asked alot of personal questions by someone I wasn't interested in as more than a friend.

Just my .02.

I have some very, very good news which could have some very good developments for me.

It isn't related to Sally, unfortunately, but she will be there tonight along with some of my other friends to sing Happy Birthday to DD6. 6!

I made her cake yesterday. I put Pokemon on it. Pickachu and Jiggly puff will be smiling at her as she blows out the candles. My art work will then be consumed.

This is, of course, assuming exww returns her on time. She was gracious enough to let the boys stay with their big sis, so I have to give her credit for that.

But I have some good news and I'll share them when I get the green light to do so.

exww and Darth WHNACG monitor my posts, so I hope you all can understand.

Ya tease!

But yes.....I understand.

I hope whatever it is, turns just as you need it to.

Good luck!

Fox

I don't have the green light to share just yet. But I will as soon as I can!

I celebrated my daughter's birthday today and it was fun.

I noticed some interesting things.

Her former friends came to my house. These are friends of hers that I lived with the first few months I was here.

Well, they became my friends.

Our former nanny lived with exww for months. She's still in contact with me and called to talk to DD6. They saw each other on Skype.

I was just noticing how many people from our past are still in contact with me, yet none are with her.

Our married friends from England (now in the States), her former friends, our former nanny, former daycare center workers; all still in contact with me.

She burned many bridges. Of course, in her eyes it is entirely my fault since she claims I spread "lies" about her or "exagerations".

Ummm. Yeah.

I got some very interesting feedback today from a former daycare worker about her and the center and her BF and his interactions there.

That's TWO former daycare workers that I've run into in town recently who felt the need to chat with me.

It was very interesting both times.

Ok, I'm still not approved to share my news, but it should happen very soon. It is very good news indeed.

I've decided I know how to approach Sally PLI about how I feel and I want opinions.

She let me borrow a cake pan for DD6's birthday.

Well, obviously I need to give it back. I thought I'd give it to her with a yellow rose with a red tip and a card. The card would basically tell her how I feel and would be something along the lines of, we've been friends and I'm happy to stay that way, but I am interested in more and I simply wanted you to know.

What do you guys think of that? It would let her know without having her feel the pressure of reacting if I tell her in person or on a date and it would be a gesture and a surprise.

Thoughts?

I have 3 different inputs from 3 different women.

One friend tells me to go for it and give her the rose and a note by me.

The second one says that the note may be too much if it's too long and suggests a flirty comment that doesn't quite cross the friend line but is vague.

The third one tells me to return the pan to her with a cake.

Now, that being said, I thought of this:

Return the cake to her, but decorate it with a yellow rose (painted with icing by me) and write, "You're a special woman"

Or something along those lines.

How does that sound?

Ideas?

Pom, be warned in advance that I dont know what they heck I am talking about when it comes to wooing women!

Having said that, why would you want to be vague? You want this woman to know you are interested right? any woman who was interested would love the rose or the cake IMHO. And if shes not interested? well, you took a swing and struck out! Heck I bet she will be flattered and you will have boosted her ego even if shes not romantically interested.

in short, GO FOR IT!!!

I didn't reply before because I wasn't sure. Your first idea, I *think*, would've made me uncomfortable, even if I was interested in you - too intimate, coming from someone I wasn't already intimate with - KWIM?

I like your second idea, of returning it with a cake. I love a man who knows his way around a kitchen! It says (to me, at least) that you are willing to share in the DS.

And decorating it is ok too, but IMHO the simpler the better - maybe just "You're special!" or "Thanks!" with a flower - the flower sends enough of a msg.

IMHO it's best to be vague - think of this as a delicate dance - you move one *small* step and see if she follows, then you move another and wait until she's ready to follow that step, etc. If your steps are small enough, then you are less likely to have overstepped for whatever place she's at. If she's ready for the next step each time, it will progress fast enough. If not, then you can wait at whatever step she's at, if you haven't stepped beyond that point.

My H hates my analogies, so I hope you can follow what I mean!

In short, I agree with the second and third friends. If you write a message in the icing, don't go beyond what friend #2 would approve. Or just draw a single delicate rose.

I wish people returned my pans filled with food! What a great idea!

LOL ... And here we have direct evidence of a difference between the male brain and the female brain!

Actually, there's a middle ground, where she's getting interested... and too much might scare her off. Too much can be just creepy. Maybe it's a female thing cus guys are less inclined to be so conscious of safety...

Maybe it's similar to how a single guy would feel, if a single mom catches his eye and they meet for coffee a couple of times... he's sorta interested... and then she starts having her kids call him "Daddy"?

A man on a support group website was sending emails about where he lives on the outer banks, which I've been to and love... Yes my profile says I'm married, but I was getting weird vibes from him in spite of that, and had my defenses up in case he was getting the wrong idea. (I was very careful in my replies to be short and impersonal, and to mention my family. My happily married family.) Then he sent me a poem about if I woke up in a red room with no doors or windows, don't worry, it's just that I'm inside his heart... CREEPY!!!!!!!!!!

Umm. Yes, that is creepy.

So a cake with a yellow rose decorated on it? That's the key. I will be the one decorating the rose on it.

I see that the baby step forward would be good.

It is a difference between male and female brains because we are certainly in the delicate dance right now.

I think I've been good so far and the temptation is there to take it too far too fast, so a more subtle approach is in order.

Afterall, how many friends bake a cake for you and decorate it with a yeallow rose?

How does, "To a very special woman: Thanks!" sound?

The other thought I had, as a step after this one (assuming she likes this) is to escalate things a tiny bit the next time we're out by offering my arm for her to hold if she wishes.

Corny?

I like just the rose with no words, or something as short as possible - like 1 or 2 words.

If you take too little of a step you can always take another step next time. But if you take too big of a step, you can't take it back.

One single beautiful rose says a lot. Especially since you're making i with your own two hands. Very simple, very romantic. Very.

Offering your arm to a lady IMHO is quite gentlemanly, maybe I'm just old fashioned. (I'm 45 and from the south; YMMV.) It would be even easier if it were a chilly evening or maybe a steep hill or a lot of stairs or something.

It's my style.

I'll make the rose with no words.

It's a slight escalation without much needing to be said.

Thanks for the ideas!

Now I have to figure out how to make a rose on a cake.

Pom, I defer to the ladies, and all I can say is thank god I am not single

jayne, pom, I just realized, we've all got twins! right around the same age too. Arent they a blast!

Holy cow! That's really cool!

Yes... I wanted one girl. I got two boys. That's what I get for having a preference! Now I seriously don't know what I would've done with a girl. My boys are into so many cool things: catching things like praying mantises for their bug farm, building forts, it's a blast.

If I can just keep them from killing each other I will have done good. But actually I think they're growing out of the fighting phase and are now turning into best friends.

Did/do either of y'all's twins have a fighting phase?

Being single is scary, but it's fun too.

It has it's moments.

Twins are fun. It's interesting to see how different they are. There is a dominant one and a more quiet one. The quiet one resembles me the most according to my mom. He is the one that gets into his toys and has his own little adventures, which is what I remember doing as a kid.

My other one is outgoing and extroverted, which is good.

DD6 has her moments with them. She stormed off this morning, yelling, "I wish I didn't have brothers!"

All because they were playing with her stuff.

And so it is. She wants to play with their toys, they want to play with hers. Chaos ensues.

Here's a twin story, if y'all don't mind...

We enrolled our kids in soccer last summer for the first time. There's one problem with soccer I hadn't thought of beforehand... there's only one ball in play! There must be one person who scores a goal before the other!

Lo and behold, DS6a scored the very first goal of their team, of the season, and of their lives, just a couple minutes into the first game. Now DS6b scored a goal just 5 minutes later, but soccer was ruined for him for the rest of the season. He refused to run, never did more than a half-hearted jog.

Things were better this year. DS6a is the dominant one, the larger one, but the quieter one; he likes to sit and think, and learned his alphabet and numbers and addition first. DS6b is more extroverted, is smarter when it comes to social skills (when they both liked the same little girl, 6b was nice to her and 6a threw sand in her hair!), but is not dominant - he is smaller and not as strong, but he is better coordinated. He learned to crawl and walk first, but then was the last to learn to pedal due to size and strength, the last to learn his letters and numbers, but he learned to write first since he was more coordinated. He is the one who "tries harder".

DS6b is a better and faster skier due to being more coordinated.

When they were younger it seemed like every time they got pigeon-holed (this one is the quiet one, e.g.) they would switch places. Be open to that happening.

Sorry, you pushed the "talk about your kids" button! I could go on and on...

Pom, I'm so very glad you are enjoying this blossoming relationship. You deserve good things!

I may not know much about wooing but I feel like I can discuss twins with authority. I have twins, my brother has twins and my grandmother had two sets of twins! So they kind of run in the family.

Being boy/girl I think there is a little less of the pigeon holing. They have very similar personalities, both are little extroverts which is in total contrast to DD7 who is very reserved like me. My wife is constantly amazed at how many people ask if they are identical! You would think people would know boy girl twins cannot be identical.

It seems like they are either the very best of friends or the very worst of enemies and it changes daily! Boys might be different. My brother is only 11 months older than me and I can tell you that our fighting phase lasted for about 15 years~.

We're in a delicate dance right now. I'll initiate contact and she almost always answers in some way or she even suggests activities.

I still don't really know where she stands, which is why the subtle aproach makes sense.

Well, it's really not all that subtle. How often does someone make a cake for you and decorates a rose on it?

But there's beauty in the simplicity.

It's a gesture without a letter that would make her uncomfortable. It's an unspoken message sent. Now, the question is if she'll clue in or continue to be vague on her feelings. I'd rather she tell me flat out if she isn't interested in more.

I've got the frosting and food coloring ready. Tuesday night I'll bake. Thursday night will be our weekly group get together and people are going to come over, hang out, play some Wii and just socialize. It's a really nice group.

Once they all leave I can hand it to her. I'm going to put foil on top of it so she won't see the cake till she gets home, I hope. If anything, i'll tell her to wait till she gets home to lift the foil off.

New subject:

Back to the twins. I took all three of them out in my back yard and pulled out the kiddie pool. It's a big one. It took about an hour to fill it half way. But the kids had a blast. It's been hot here recently, but wouldn't you know it, it cooled off a lot today.

So they couldn't stay out there as long as I was hoping they would. I sat and watched them and just laughed and laughed as they splashed each other.

Texted Sally a little bit while watching the kids.

I'm telling everyone here: I feel a peace right now that I haven't felt in a long time. I feel a great deal of faith that things will work out in court. Why?

Still can't share, but it should be coming soon.