Yes all those day to day little things we did with our kids or watched them do ... even in front of the TV or a BBQ or camping or fishing .... for our kids they are the 'good ol days' and they will remember them all their lives .. hopefully with love and want to pass those on to their own kids.

Even now my DD will drop everything to go fishing with dad ... of course it helps that her hubby & her dad are almost like peas in a pod ... who'd a thought ... lol

And you know Rella... all those years when things were tight and we had to live in MOD housing .... we truly had great fun and joy ... do I wish I could have bought them better clothes and toys and the latest gadget ??? yep .... but we made do and they are all good kids so I guess we did something right. ... even if there were times I could have happily strangled them .. lol ... actually I've had a moment ot two lately now that I mention it when I could have done that ... soon as I knew they were ok.

Busy ML????????? either he's getting faster or I'm aging too quickly ........ you don't REALLY have to ans that one lol

AW....

We have 2 little boys that we adore. They are like grandkids that we are NOT related to. We babysat the now 5 yr old when he was a baby and after his family moved away I didn't think we'd see him much anymore. Well, he was able to come stay with us alot and rarely 2 months go by that we don't see him. He got a baby brother 18 months ago and the first time he came and stayed over night he was 3 months old.

These 2 were part of our graduation/memorial day gathering and boy did we feel old when it was over! There were 8-14 adults to these 2 little ones and we were all exhausted when it was over! The 5 year old was great...that 18 month old gave us all a run for our money!
And yes, age played a huge part in that for me!!
I don't think that is the problem for you though!!

I've decided that I'm not MATERNAL..I didn't get that gene..

My grandmother only had one child..my father..and said that she would have prevented that pregnancy but my grandfather forgot the condom that weekend when he was visiting where she taught school out of town..that was back in the 1930s...

I'm sooo like her...

You see, I'm not even wishing for grandchildren...

I really ADMIRE you guys, I think, to a point...

I'm still LOVING the PEACE, QUIET and SOLITUDE..it's OK with me for it to continue...until the end...

Of course, I will LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my grandchildren..which I will probably have... to VISIT and then, GO HOME...

I might even prefer to go visit with them...I LOVE a CLEAN, NEAT HOUSE...

OK, there might be something WRONG with me...I admit it..BUT, I AM ME...

Um ....... ????????? What is that??????? I just sat on %$#@%&^$%^^^&& stupid pile of metal toy cars .... OUCH !!! LOL

Sorry ..... Those naughty words just popped out ... at least the little terror is asleep so he wont run around repeating them ... when we are out in ther middle of the shopping centre

mimi maybe it does run in families ..... we have big families but in general were spread out across the country. Its only in the last few years we've moved back here so as the baby of the family I get mothered ...... a whole lot ... from everyone :eek: :eek: :eek:

and I am SURE you will adore your grand kids .....strange my mum says its wonderful to have her grannies over .. and to send them safely home!! lol ... full of red cordial

Mimi, I'm not maternal either.

Neak, thanks for sharing the roof story. It's fun to hear what people are doing.

AW, you sound pretty good considering. You do sound maternal, and I have the feeling your family is in good hands.

T&L, you don't sound maternal, because you aren't posting enough to sound that way. You are maternal though, and that's a compliment in this case.

M&L,
Shortly after my youngest sister went away to college, I asked my dad how it was with just he, and my mother at home. He looked around me in both directions to make sure no one else was close enough to hear him, and then he said "It's great, but don't tell anyone I said that." I know you are maternal, and there will always be strong ties between you, and your children. You'll always wonder how they are, where they are, and what they are doing.

My father told me (more recently) "I worry about you now, I'll worry about you until I die, and after I die, I'll still worry about you. I suspect you probably feel much the same about your children. I bet Mimi does too, and then she says she is not Maternal.

Being a mother means lots of different things. IN parenting, we are better at some things than others. I suppose it's the same as in other areas of our lives. Some people are good at music, some at painting, some at hoeing weeds in the garden. We should make the most of the talents we do have, and work on our weaknesses so we are more well rounded. The fact will remain that we are better at some things than others.


I started out this part talking to F&L, but I see I am kind of musing about life. I hope you don't mind.

I have given CC's situation a great deal of thought. She seems to be centered, and doing well. I would guess though, that she has lonely days, and days when she wonders if she will ever feel whole again. I have not walked in her shoes, and I know I can't understand completely. I do understand in part, and I do pray for her often. I pray for all of you often. CC, You need to trust God, and be patient. Oh, don't quit trying, or think you can sit and do nothing, but trust him,and have faith that he has as much happiness waiting for you, as he does for anyone else.

God leaves us to learn a lot of things. I think he works behind the scenes more than we realize. Sometimes his work is highly visible, but often he works quietly, in the background and accomplishes just as much or more. Sometimes it takes faith to see his threads in the tapestry, but they are always there.

I hope today is a good day for all of you. That can be because events favor you, or it can be because you make it so, but I hope at the end of the day, all of you are happy.

SS

Actually I never feel lonely, I love being alone. It has always been something necessary for me. And I am never bored either.
But yes, I do wonder if I will ever feel whole again.

I'm sure that if it hadn't been for you guys on MB I would nver have made it this far so well, and with optimism that theings will get better. You are really lifesavers!

I had never been patient before so I'm really astounded at how patient I have become! And not only with WH, but with everything!

Everytime I think of how long Abraham had to wait, I know I can wait a little longer! I trust.

BTW, WH just answered that we will meet on monday at 3 pm at home! I just answered "fine"

Oh, I am a maternal, stick in the mud, kid person. And I've been that way my whole life. When I was a teen, while everyone else was partying, I was babysitting.

My life has been blessed with lots of children - mine, ex's, neighbors', and I have to say they are the joy of my life.

All my own and ex's are gone, but I have little ones in my home everyday. Every kid on the block comes to my home.

It's not that I am such a good mother-figure, but I do have good food.

I'm looking forward to retirement, so I have children around all day.

CC:

This sounds EXACTLY like me. You and I are sooo much alike!!

ETA:

I, of course, missed my husband..and this was a MAJOR ISSUE of me not giving him enough attention...and him needing LOTS...

I LIVE ON BORROWED TIME (for myself)...

What about PATERNAL, Still? Are you that, even?

OH MY GOODNESS, B...

Just the thought of that makes me NERVOUS...

I'll send my GRANDS over to your house...FLY em out if I have to...

Mimi that's sounds just so scary ... I thought that was my mum talking lol

Just have to share this song with you .... my DD sung this for the troops and especially her new husband of 10 days ... then he was gone to the war ....and its beautiful and we both feel like this right this moment ....

This old house is falling down around my ears
I am drowning in a river of my tears
When all my will is gone you hold me sway
And I need you at the dimming of the day

You pull me like the moon pulls on the tide
You know just where I keep my better side

What days have come to keep us far apart
A broken promise or a broken heart
Now all the bonnie birds have wheeled away
And I need you at the dimming of the day

Come the night you're only what I want
Come the night you could be my confidant

I see you on the street marching in your company
Why don't you come and ease your mind with me
I am living for the night we steal away
And I need you at the dimming of the day
Yes I need you at the dimming of the day

My son and I just got back from a TV taping for a show to be broadcast this fall. It's about country music song writers. The guests were some new guy (Jonathan Singleton)of whom I've never heard, Kris Kristopherson (I had not idea he wrote 'Me and my Bobby McGee'), Patty Griffin, and Jeff Owen (of the group 'Alabama'). It was at the Grand Masonic Lodge.

I was bound and determined to go whether he went or not. I have known for years that the public normally doesn't get to go in that building.

It was really good. And I don't really care for country music.

I am so far behind, keeping up with the reading in short bursts, but no time to post.

Before I forget, on the way to VBS tonight, Mr. C was being aggravated by his little brother and sister. "Mom," he asked, "would you please turn on some loud mucous?.....um, I mean MUSIC."

Yesterday AJ packed up a good share of his worldly possessions and moved to Montana, to get a place ready for us to live. That, or find out that he can't stand it after all. (His parents are threatening to move if he comes out there, but I can't count on them keeping their promise.)

We had hoped to do something around the end of the year, but the nice elderly gentleman that my BIL works for broke his femur a couple months ago. He has been driving tractors some of the time since, being desperate to get his planting done, but the doc said absolutely no more. And with AJ without a job and so far both of us almost entirely unpaid for all our work driving (oh that's right, I have been too busy to post about that, too) we were also in a less than ideal situation.

So he is going to work very hard, and spend his spare time fixing what needs to be done to the house, and the children all on their own came to realize the similarities to John 14:1-3. They understand better than ever before what it means to them, personally, to have Jesus go away to prepare a place. "Mom, now I know how the disciples felt. They were so sad to see him go away, but they knew he was making a nice place for them."

The Princess has already saved $1.75 toward a trip to go see him.

Spiritually, we are having a very exciting time. AJ has become so excited about learning about how to take care of his body, and why he needs to even bother doing so, (it is the temple of the Holy Spirit). He has broken his addiction to caffeine for the first time in several years, except for October of last year when he was home sick. The first week stimulant-free was rough, but by combining that with drinking lots of water and eating simple wholesome foods, (plus a couple of B-12 shots from Mom to ease the way), he is feeling the best he has felt since he was a whippersnapper. Maybe he will be able to come on and share at some point; his internet access will be limited, but I'm sure my nice BIL will let him use his once in a while.

Early this morning, going through West Yellowstone, he saw a momma wolverine walking down the middle of the road with several tiny babies. They went off to the side, then every time they heard a car they would all stand on their hind legs and listen carefully.

Then somewhere in the mountains, he got all excited about seeing a pair of bald eagles. They were flying in a large group of other birds, which as he got closer he found to be.....also bald eagles. All circling and swooping and diving. He sounded as happy as the day I took the 3yo Dervish to the Hershey factory, and he had fallen asleep on the way so I had to carry him, then he woke up on the catwalk up above the factory with chocolate spreading in every direction as far as the eye could see.

I tried to get him to stop at Pompey's Pillar, which is located spitting distance off the highway, and he was in urgent need of a rest stop anyway, but he insisted on waiting till we could come too.

What are we waiting for? The kids' therapy till the therapist goes on maternity leave, summer camp for the 2 older ones, about 2 cubic miles of junk to sort and mostly throw away, and getting Neaksis' house fixed up since it doesn't seem right to go away and leave her with a big mess. Tempting, but not right. So I have my work cut out for me, as well. All AJ has to do is slap on some paint and scrape the cat poop out of the basement. New carpet in the living room would be nice, too, and refinishing the floor in the master bedroom. If not, a few large area rugs would hide most of the paint stains in the bedroom and the cigarette burns and Kool-aid stains in the living room. I am not entirely greedy.

Oh, at the dentist today, the Princess was to have 2 little fillings in one tooth, but they said they were so tiny they would just leave them after all, and besides the tooth would be coming out soon anyway. So the tooth fell out tonight.

Well I'd better head off to bed. Tomorrow is a brand new day, with new recalcitrants to herd. Thankfully God's mercies are new every morning, as well.

Hi Folks, I'm new here and hope i'm in the right thread. I cant fnd the place that interprets the abreviations you all use so will do my best.

I have recently discovered that my H is having an A.
He broke down and said he would end it. I also phoned OW and told her to leave him alone. WH says she has ended it with him and he wants for us to restore our marriage.

The problem is that this has happened twice before with two other OW's. One RT OW and one CT OW. The first one he confessed to as she threatened to tell me in an effort to get him to commit to leaving me. So he confessed and begged me to stay with him. This A had been very long term which I didnt know and I never even suspected it. I agreed to move forward from that point and I thought we were doing ok.

One year on and I discover a cyber A which had been going on for approx. eight years. Again he said he would end it and the site he used to chat on, he deleted. I check it and there is no recent contact. But my gut says that he has either become more cunning or has found another cyber pal. So, he promised its finshed and again I agree to move forward in our marriage and to keep caring for each other.

And then a few months later I discover his latest RT A, and of course as I said above, he promises its all over. He also has a drinking addiction. Also our finances are in a mess.

I feel that I have supported him as much as I can.
Is it even worth trying Plan A as I feel like I already have.
I am a christian with wonderful christian woman friends, we all strongly believe in marriage and family. I feel that I want to leave this web of lies and deceit and get my life back on track and even my women friends think it seems the only option at this point.

I am fearful for my health if I stay with WH in regard to STD's and also feel that he will start another A again one day.

I have kept this as brief as possible and I hope you folks can give some advice on this mess.

Hi Janey--This is more of a friendly-chattering, meandering-wherever-we-feel-like-going thread. The people who post on it are all cyberfriends, and we'd be glad to have you join us. We can even give you MB advice--some of us more than others. But if you really want as many people as possible to post to you directly about your situation (more people than would be expected to read it if you were only on this thread), your best bet would be to start your own thread with a descriptive title (Sample: D-day #3--I Feel Like Giving Up) and re-post what you just wrote here. Bear in mind that it's generally low-traffic here on the weekends as people have the NERVE to go out and live real lives.

So why don't you post your own thread with your story, and then come here, too, and hang out with us for a break, a little sympathy, or a bit of fun? Let me introduce myself. My real name is Susan, but here people call me T&L because thunder and lightning was what I would like to have called down on my son-in-law's head 3 years ago when my daughter, Noni (Neak), was struggling to deal with his infidelity. There are very nice people on this thread. Good friends all. But for the most traffic, and the greatest volume of advice (some of which you'll like and some you won't!), your own thread is your ticket to that particular ride...

Hi Susan,

Thanks for your reply, I will do as you suggest. I like your alias. lol My mum would feel the same way if she new. I appreciat4e your support. love Janey

Neak....

Hey, AJ is right through my neck of the woods and on to my old stomping grounds! I went back that-a-way 2 years ago to see my high school friends (hadn't seen them in 20+ years) and around Pompeys Pillar and all around were big fires! Right up to the highway...weird!

Two days ago I was watching a bald eagle circling out behind the house. We are starting to see more of them. I see "regular" eagles all the time, but just starting to see baldies. So cool! Last fall there were 2 sitting on the fence out by the slew/slough(?). I love it here!

You were right the second time, MAL. Slew = killed, slough = swamp. Eagles are awesome, and baldies doubly so! You are so fortunate to get to see them regularly.

Janey, you are never going to be able to make any headway with your WH while he is addicted to alcohol. I would not say your situation is hopeless, but it is pretty bleak. The alcohol must be dealt with first.

I also would advise against Plan A. Since he has an organic addiction on top of his affair addiction, he will suck you dry without it ever making any impact on him. If you would like to try and save your marriage, (and no one will blame you if you don't), you could go straight into Plan B until he has dealt with the alcoholism. AA, counseling, the whole works.

Then he can deal with his affair issues, which MB will then have a chance of helping.

Give me a sec, and I'll post a link to a list of abbreviations.

You've got to hear the Dervish's favorite song. The other kids like it too, but Small Fry best of all. His auntie got him hooked, and now he wants to hear it over and over again.

***sniff*** "It's so beautiful - I think I might cry."
~Dervish

Faith on Fire

I have to admit, I really like it too.

AJ is very lonely. Very very very lonely. He is considering the wild and crazy idea of having us go out there sooner, then all coming back for the winter. It's worth thinking about. We'll see what happens.